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BBno3 (177.3 days ago)
take her for tea/coffee & just be wit her. it will mean a lot to her. i don`t know if i would bring up that today would have been her due date or anything like that though... good luck!

12.31.08 (177.8 days ago)
also i wanted to add its important to give her that chance to grieve, try not to distract her.. putting off fellings will only delay the healing precess. I too went threw a mc, and on that day i wouldnt want someone trying to make me laugh or keep my mind off of it. Its a very real emotions and you need to grieve like you would for anyone else. A card and your thoughts would be just right.

12.31.08 (177.8 days ago)
Send a card saying `thinking of you` Let her know your there to talk if she needs to.. Im sure she will though

lsimpleone (177.9 days ago)
The same thing happened to me a few years ago and I loved when my friend acknowledged my little one in heaven. You are a good friend!

erphn (178.1 days ago)
She`s got such a good friend! Give her a call invite her out for coffee, maybe make her a meal (she might not feel like cooking) depending on how shw`s doing.

RobinG (178.5 days ago)
I would ~ those that have lost someone dear to them, either in pregnancy or in life know how upsetting it is when others stay away because the others dont know what to say or do or some even pretend it didnt happen. Grief is hard no matter how much time has passed and those who are grieving want to know others are there for them no matter what. On the anniversary of my moms passing it is very comforting to hear from those close to me who know it is a hard day for me, it makes it better. Nothing upsets me more then people avoiding me or trying to pretend it didnt happen ~ when I am down and in the dumps I want a friend to be there for me ~ my mom died 4/1/00. On 4/1/08 my girlfriend called me and it totally made my day :)

ll bree ll (178.8 days ago)
i wouldnt send flowers, because then she could get all depressed and upset. id take her out for a movie or lunch so she knows you care but she wont sit there and think about it

riknlee (178.8 days ago)
If you can, go around and see her with flowers. Physical contact is best, let her cry on your shoulder and cry with her. Talk about everything, ask questions. I lost a baby at 17 weeks and to me, physical contact and crying on shoulders helped me a lot. A `Friend` of mine emailed me at the time saying she would always be here, but she never ever came around or rang. I therefore didnt speak to her through the whole miserable time and afterwards I didnt want to talk to her anymore. i still dont. She told someone we both know and that someone grabbed her baby and came over straight away with no phone call; just dropped in and it meant so much to me, to talk about it and to see her. In my opinion, if you can look her in the eye and be there for her right in front of her, it is more comforting. I actually wouldn`t have rung anyone of my own accord, but I appreciated people coming to see me. it helped. Good luck



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