Butterflymom`s poll Show results | Hide results

daffy (1136.2 days ago)
Could you really give up your baby?

EmmaReed84 (1137.2 days ago)
Only you know what you need to do, Do not rush a decision and do not make a decision on what others say. You are the one who has to live with the choice no one else When my mum was 16 her then bf forced himself on her, after that she left him (obviously) had then got with someone else, she found out she was pregnant and they got married thinking it was his (the done thing 45 years ago) Anyway my mum had a baby girl called susan, and by the dates it was worked out it could not have been Micks (the guy she married) Anyway Micks mum said she had to choose, the baby or mick. My mum was so upset, but she knew she could not give Susan the live she deserved, she would have to move back in with my gran in a tiny, cold, cramped house. So she did what she thought was best for Susan. At 6 months old Susan was picked up by social services and my mum sat at the bus station for hours crying her eyes out. In May 2005 just after I found out I was pregnant with my 1st Susan got got in touch. She called the house she thought where my mum lived and got through to Micks new wife. She told susan that Mick and my mum were no longer together but she could give Susan my brothers number.....She didnt know she had a brother and 2 sisters. It came as a massive shock to susan. Susan is now a part of our lives, I now have another niece who is now 21 and has two kids of her own so I am a great auntie. Susan did not know why my mum gave her away and when she found out, she was so upset, her real dad has since past away. Susan said that she has had a great life and her mum and dad were/are great, She calls my mum `M` as in M for mum and M for Mags her name. Everyone is different and you know and each circumstance is different. If you are really unsure speak to your doc and ask if you can speak to a counsellor BEFORE you make a choice. I wish you all the luck in the world xxx

Tara83 (1137.4 days ago)
I just want to say that people can be messed up for any or no reasons. All sorts of people can have emotional issues adopted or not.

Anyways I too think you need to get a second opinion this situation seems very extreme and if in fact it could have such a serious effect on your life I would continue to look into it and speak to more then one specialist.

After having a baby myself I would find it hard to be able to give up a child how ever I am not in your shoes and I can`t even begin to understand what you are going through.

I agree with the women on here who have said this has to be a personal decision so I am only here to lend you some support. Can your doctor refer you to a support group or a social worker to help explain your choices and make sure you make the best decision for you and your baby. The more informed you are the more confident you will be in whatever you decide.

I wish you and your family the best of luck.

jessberr31 (1137.4 days ago)
I agree with tto and bellajenna. I am a single mom of three and VERY soon to be 4. IT IS NOT EASY, BUT YOU WILL MAKE IT. Adoption is a wonderful thing, but if your having second thoughts maybe its not right for you. If you can do it with two, you will make it work with three. Good luck on whatever you decide.

busymommyof3 (1137.5 days ago)
I think its totally up to you. I personally could not and have to live in this world wondering what if??? Its your choice! My BFF was in a horrible abusive relationship and was preggo with his baby. She had a daughter with before this baby. It was hard for her but she ended up doing an open adoption. It has worked out great for her. they send pictures and she sees her a few times a year. I think that eases the pain of not knowing. I know a lot of adopting parents may not like that idea. But any how. Its really up to you. You may feel like you can make it, but by gods grace you will. Just think of the poor in 3rd world countries they have several children and most survive even in horrid situations. Just remember someone always is worst off then you are. Good luck in what you decide and like the others side , get a second opinion.

mamamia76 (1137.5 days ago)
very pregnant + totally hormonal + extremely uncomfortable + topic near and dear to my heart = potential overeaction :P

lin (1137.5 days ago)
yeah im not agreeing to what iloveyouconrad said either.....I worked in adoptions and rarely ever ran into issues with emotional problems. However not the place for a debate so I would just say to you to get a second opinion and do what your hearts telling you to do.

mamamia76 (1137.5 days ago)
What Conrad said is completely WRONG. I am adopted and don`t have `emotional problems`, as she claims we apparently all have- or at least `every adopted child` she knows. Adoption is a WONDERFUL thing, but, as others have said, it is a personal decision. Get a second opinion, as suggested, and make a decision based on YOUR feelings, not the ramblings of some member on here. If you have any questions about adoption, feel free to ask! Good luck- you will figure it out! <3

bellajenna (1137.5 days ago)
I dont think weather or not this baby being your last should be a factor. But sweetie let me tell you my story. I will be 21 jan. 29 I have a little girl who will b 3 in April and a son who just turned 1 last month I am also pregnant. Full time Medical student and a single mom. My husband passed away this past April. 9 days after my daughters birthday. Its not easy not by one ounce, but its well worth it. I my self am adopted and I would actually be kinda upset if my mom gave me up and keep others and had more. Do whats best for everyone but I dont think basing your desision on if its your last should affect it. Just think at some point in time your not going to be single and you cant get your baby back even if you wanted.

tto (1137.5 days ago)
I think if you are even a little worried about it, you should keep the child. I think if you are asking the question then you truly want this child. Re-evaluate you reasons for adoption. I hope it is based on more than just money- everyone has financial problems and money does not make a happy home. Love does. I also think it would be a hard situation to explain to your kids why one of them was adopted out and vice versa. It will be hard, but hard does not mean impossible. Good luck with this!

lilmamaaua (1137.6 days ago)
I agree with kevinsmilf about getting a second opinion. I also think that if you were planning on giving this child up for adoption you must have had good reasons to do so and the idea that you might not have more children does not change the life that you are or are not able to provide. I have a few adopted friends and they are glad that their biological parents wanted the best life for them and that their adopted parents chose them. I have taught a number of adopted kids and a few that came from orphanages in Eastern Europe and it is those children that were deprived of love and attention when they were small that showed the most emotional damage. I think it`s something that you need to make up your own mind on though and think about how you will feel in years to come if you go either way with your decision. What kind of life will your child have and then make your choice. Good luck either way with your decision.

Kevinsmilfx2 (1137.6 days ago)
Gotta love doctors and that good ol` scare factor... get a second opinion. Try a midwife.

Mason**Ashlynns** mom (1137.6 days ago)
I agree with conrad. I know being a single mother can and will be hard but there are TONS of women out there that do it too. Try to get some extra help with friends or family. If you can`t juggle kids, work and school then maybe drop school for awhile until your kids are in school and you have a bit more time. Good luck with whatever you decide.

luvbeingamom (1137.6 days ago)
i have to disagree. I have 2 adopted cousins and several friends that were adopted. Most of them know a brief history of why they were adopted, mother was young, couldn`t financially do it, whatever teh reason. But they are all well adjusted adults who are loving and caring. Now i am sure there are questions or sadness when it comes to certain things, but in the end, they all had loving caring parents who wanted them very much! Also, i don`t feel that anyone can answer this question besides you. I don`t know if i could give up my baby, but when i am done having babies, i plan on fostering/adopting children if i can. This is a very personal choice and i am sure you will do what is best for you and the baby. Good Luck to you and choice.



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