JMendez`s poll Show results | Hide results

shocked-over-3 (1004.5 days ago)
Also,I have to say that my oldest sons father and I were married when he was born and he IS on the B cert.....I did go and givemy son MY maiden name after the divorce and here in Michigan it costs around $250-300 to change a last name and your husband/ex CAN fight it....If you want your baby to have your maiden name (you plan on going back to it,right?)then I`d give them your name from birth. Alot easier.

shocked-over-3 (1004.5 days ago)
When it comes to legal paternity,unless he fights and gets a DNA test (which from what you say would be positive),they will assume that your legal husband is the father....Usually unless you are on state assistance,you do not have to list anyone until they take you to court for visitation or you seek child support-THEN paternity HAS TO be astablished and they would go after your husband at the time of conception-unless like I said,he OR YOU says the baby is someone elses. IF you are on assistance than they will force you to seek child support,thus making you seek paternity and so forth...Been there,done that. I live in Michigan btw.

luvbeingamom (1005 days ago)
yes, i am fairly certain, you can put only info that you want on the birth cert. however like others have said, he still has rights when it comes to custody. He can take you to court, order blood tests, etc. Also, you may want his name on there for child support reasons too. It is much easier to get child support orders (married or divorced) if you don`t first have to prove he is the father. If his name on the birth certificate and he then wants to contest paternity, then that is up to him (and his costs). Good Luck. Separation and divorce are hard by themselves. Adding children makes it that much more difficult. I am going through that now. But my kids father and me have come to agreements and understanding that our kids come first no matter what. So even if it is harder for us, we do what we can to make it easier for them. The thing to keep in mind is that as much of an a$$ as your ex will be, he is still your baby`s father. You wouldn`t want you child in 10 or 15years coming back angry with you b/c they blame you for taking him away. At least thats how i look at it. My parents haven`t been able to be in the same room together for 20 years. They fight, argue, and are rude. It is awful. I blame them both, but that has ruined many special events in my life (highschool graduation, wedding, my children`s births) b/c they can`t stop bickering. However they are both my parents and i love them for that. Ok... rambled enough. Good Luck. Hope it works out for you and your LO.

bethk (1005.1 days ago)
In the UK u can leave the father off the certificate regardless if ur married or not. But I couldnt comment on US laws as they pretty messed up lol x

kiara (1005.3 days ago)
It might depend on the laws where you live. I live in WI, and they require that if you were married at any time during your pregnancy, you MUST list your husband as the father, regardless of if your husband actually is the father. On the other hand, if you were not married at all during any part of your pregnancy, you can not list anyone as the father on the birth certificate until you get a paternity test. Then after the paternity test you can get an amended birth cert listing the father.

california-mom (1005.3 days ago)
No matter what is or isnt on the bc...he still can get just as many rights to the baby as he would if he were on the bc. Paternity tests etc...Also, in CA no matter what the circumstance is, the husband is assumed as the father no matter what.

SPUDinTHEoven (Tina) (1005.3 days ago)
I`m not sure of the laws, but I`m a person who has a father that I haven`t seen since I was 2 because my parents divorced after he molested me and my sister. I don`t consider him a father because I don`t know him as he has never been in my life. What I do know is genetically he is still my father, and whether or not he winds up on the birth certificate I hope you still let your child know who her father is and about that side of the family because it can be incredibly confusing and frustrating to not know why you look the way you do, and to not know your family`s history. You may have already been planning on doing that anyways, but I thought you might like to hear from someone who went through a similar situation and is now all grown up :)

Kevinsmilfx2 (1005.4 days ago)
I can understand circumstances of why you may not want to name the man you`re divorcing on your baby`s birth cert, however, in the long run it may be in you and your baby`s best interest to have his name on there for financial reasons. And Christina`sWar is correct, he can always request a paternity test. There`s pro`s and con`s to leaving the cert blank or `unknown`. Please get all the LEGAL information you can before making a decision. Maybe down the line your soon to be ex will get his act together and your child will want, and deserves the opportunity to know both parents, regardless of grudges and ill-feelings between you two. Think it through very carefully and thoroughly. Best of luck and everything will work out!!

LKLmama (1005.4 days ago)
In the end does it really matter? He can request a paternity test and have legal rights to the child right?

mamacakes (1005.5 days ago)
you just have to put `unknown` on the birth certificate

megandgrace (1005.5 days ago)
I live in Michigan and i was told that if we were married he would automatically go on the BC. I chose to leave it off in our case and we went to court for child support and i didn`t have a problem because he wasn`t on the BC.

baby[bump]mama (1005.5 days ago)
i don`t know about michigan but in wisconsin-if you are married to him at the time you get pregnant-his name automatically goes on the BC-even if he`s not the father! if you are married to him-the name goes! but i am sure the court will ask for a DNA test. BUT-i know that there is a fourm you can fill out to leave/take off the fathers name on the BC. good luck!

busymommyof3 (1005.5 days ago)
I believe the father automatically go on when your married. Just tell them you are seperated. If it gets down to it say you dnt know know the father is. or lie and say your not married. they dont check it!

JMendez (1005.5 days ago)
I know PATTY it seemed absurd to me too. Go figure, the laws and stuff here are just idiotic anyways.

Thanks GRANDMA for your comment. That is unfortunately what I thought was going to end up happening. Even if I could get him to sign the paperwork for the divorce, it`d still take me 6 months to divorce him (or so says the county clerk, because of child custody issues). I have no idea how to `force` a divorce. My situation is just really complicated too because I was silly at the time and married someone who wasn`t a US citizen and I have no idea how a custody battle would ensue in my case. The more I ramble on here, the more I think that I should just buck up, pay the $50 fee, and talk to a lawyer.

Cookbaby Sandra (1005.5 days ago)
My daughter was advised to get the divorce before the baby is born otherwise a father has to be named on the birth certificate. Your husband is the one who will have to go on the birth certificate in the State of Michigan because this is his rights. My daughter cannot have the rightful father on the birth certificate until she is not married. This is what we were advised from our lawyers in the State of Michigan. If confusing write ask me more because we are going through the same thing at this time. My daughter`s divorce is final on June 4th. We are very happy.

gr8scottswife (1005.6 days ago)
I`m sorry to hear about the divorce. I feel certain you can leave him off.

Amanda-is-Rebekahs-Mommy (1005.6 days ago)
I would say the only downside to leaving him off the birth certificate is that if you do later want to get child support from him, it may be difficult/impossible to get a judge to grant it to you with him not listed as the father.

JMendez (1005.6 days ago)
Thanks ladies, you are the best and I appreciate your comments =) I guess my reason for creating this poll was because I was filling out pre-registry paperwork for the hospital and on the birth certificate worksheet it states:

◆The birth certificate for a child must record the mother’s husband as the father whenever the mother was married at the time the child was conceived. ◆ If you were not married at the time of your child’s conception, but were married at the time of birth, the individual named as the father is your husband at the time of birth.

Unfortunately the douche is the father so he could contest it if he wanted to. I`m just afraid to get in trouble for not putting him on there. Grrrr! hahaha.

hillaryandmikesbaby (1005.6 days ago)
Yeah i would say you deffinatley can do that. Just because your married doesnt always mean he is the father (not saying that about you lol)...

Janice2369 (1005.6 days ago)
I am not married but I did leave my child`s father off of her birth certificate. I`m not sure if marriage would affect anything, but I think it is up to you if you want to name him or not. They didn`t even question me at the hospital when I filled out the paperwork for the birth certificate. Good luck, I hope you find your answer.

littlepixie (1005.6 days ago)
Here in the UK you can leave the father off the cert, so i hope for your sake the same rules apply where you are. Very best wishes for you, your daughter and your future. xx



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