arkansastechmommy`s poll Show results | Hide results

ermsmom (943.4 days ago)
I also agree with pooka and canadababy.

prettybird (943.5 days ago)
I had my daughter when I was 20...my son when I was 29 and now I am having my third at 33. I can see a huge differance in my parenting style, maturity, and just in the way I appreciate them. I love them all the same but the older I got the more my priorities are in order. :)

luvbeingamom (943.6 days ago)
I think age def effects your parenting, but i don`t feel it is a single factor in making a good parent or a bad one. I think as you age, your perspective changes, you gain patience, and understanding that you don`t have at 19. NOw i know great parents, who were 17 at the time of their child`s birth and terrible parents that are in their 30s/40s. But i think HOW you parent changes with age. So if you were going to be or were a good parent at 19, you will be at 40, but the way you handle things would be different.

mrsrawley (943.6 days ago)
When it comes to experiencing life, being a young mom could affect your parenting. Raising a baby is not what a lot people think. It has it`s rewards, but you have to b ready for the not so pleasant side. I was a very young mom with my first and I was a good mom. With the help of my mother I pushed thru school and didn`t skip a beat. I took a year off before going to college and in the interim had 2 more children. I knew what I needed to do and I didn`t use my children as an excuse as to why I couldn`t. It was so hard and sometimes I don`t know how I did it!!?? I think it`s just different for everyone. Being older more settled with more experience is the way to go. Waiting until you're older is so much better. You can be a good young mom, but it makes things more difficult than they have to be. I feel so much better this time around. Back then I felt like I was going a million miles a minute. I am absolutely more settled than I was. Oh yeah, I know a lot of older parents that seem unable to get it right. Some people don`t want to grow up, change and make sacrafices no matter what age.

pooka (943.6 days ago)
I think i was a pretty good parent at 19, but i do agree for most people age brings on maturity. I can`t help but think of these two women i know however, a lesbian couple with two kids, they are between them the worst parents I have ever met and one is 40`s the other mid 20`s. So I guess not everyone has it in them. Maybe its a case of using that maturity and age experience. I honestly don`t know why some people just seem unable to grow up.

RobinG (943.6 days ago)
I agree with pooka too I also think experience in your life also have a alot to do with it. My 3rd so far other then his ASD has really been a breeze so far but is it becuaseI`m 42, partly. Alot of it has to do with the fact that he is my 3rd, the things in life I have experienced and my education and upbrnging. There are times when I`ve read a post and it is true and other times it isnt. Many times I`ll read a post and often have an idea on their age based on how they responded, whether it is very young or much older and my age and I`ll be right on. But that isnt always the case. So you just never know. Some well established educated and older adults have abused children beyond comprehension so you just never know. On the same note the majority of the local most horrific abuse murder cases were done by young moms and dads. `Lifes trials and tribulations` have alot to do with your parenting skills, not just your age.

canadababy (943.6 days ago)
Pooka, absolutely :) I know I wouldn`t have had the patience I do now when dealing with my screaming baby. Even when she is crying her hardest and I can`t figure out why I look at her and smile and think she is such a gift....I know it would have been differet 10yrs ago.

pooka (943.6 days ago)
TR I am similar i had my first at 19, second at 21 and now have a one year old and I am pregnant again at 33. I have WAY more patience and its like having walked the line I know I can do it so I am more relaxed with Liam then I was with my other children. Interesting how that happens. Becoming a parent of a baby all over again years later sure does change things. But i wonder if that patience would have been there if I never had my older kids and was just having babies now? What do you think?

canadababy (943.6 days ago)
I somewhat agree with pooka....but I know in my case I was NOT ready to be a parent until I did get pregnant at 29. I was able to live my life, travel, go out all the time, and will not look at my baby as something that holds me back :) If I had her say when I was 20 I would probably resent her (sad but true) and therefore not parent to my full ability. I think that`s the problem with many young parents, they`re not ready for the responsibility and aren`t the best parents they could be because of it.

heathert (943.6 days ago)
I agre with pooka!

TR-Baby2 (943.6 days ago)
I agree with what POOKA stated. On a personal note, I had my first 4 children when I was between 19-25, and now in my `starting over` phase, I`ve just had a son when I was 37 and am now pregnant at 40. I was def. MORE energetic back when I was younger, and I did the very best that I could, BUT the thing I notice now is that I have SO MUCH more patience now, and rather than getting upset at things, I almost find pleasure in them - basically, I have a better concept of `kids are kids` and stuff happens! I also realize that a pregnancy is a miracle within itself - rather than just something that happens when you have sex - there`s so much that goes into it, and it`s truely miraculous. I see women in the grocery store who can be down-right mean with their children - losing their temper quickly, and just giving off the `oh my God, these kids are making me mad` vibe. It seems that a lot are the younger Mom`s, but not always... I don`t blame it on age. It`s all in each individual. In a sad way, I almost see my former younger-mom self in them and look back with regret - My older kids know that! When we`re younger, I think a lot of us, tend to take our lives out on our kids, meaning we let our frustrations take over and affect our parenting & that`s not good. :(

pooka (943.6 days ago)
I think there are samples of good and bad parenting in any age group. I have met teen mothers who were amazing parents and some who were in need of some help. I have met 30 year old parents who were awful parents as well. I think some people just have it in them and some don`t. Doing the best you can doesn`t necessary come with age or experience but the desire to do whats right for your children and the mental maturity to make the needed changes and sacrifices and to recognize where your failings are and work towards improving them. We all should grow with our children, some just refuse or are unable to do that.



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