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ibaheir2dathrone (915.6 days ago)
Butter, yes they are still legally married.
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butterblocksmom (915.8 days ago)
Ibea...is the original couple still married????
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california-mom (915.8 days ago)
I agree with mikeysmommyof2 and sheework. BF/GF sounds really silly when youre an adult couple and have been together for years. Also, people who get married after knowing each other a quick minute are in no way anymore `married` than a couple who have been together for years but dont ahve their piece of paper.
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ibaheir2dathrone (915.8 days ago)
SHEEWORK-- I told you that this topic can ruffle others feathers!! By the way, HERE (where I am) Common law Doesn`t beat out Married. I know someone who was married for 19 years with 2 kids (19 and 12 1/2) left his wife to be with his mistress and they have been together for 16 1/6 years (actually living together for 16 but was messing around with her for a while before that). The wife still has rights not the live-in. When he dies Legally the wife can collect not the live-in. The live-in took out life insurance (he had to sign) that`s the Only way she will get anything.
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mikey and cjs mommy (915.8 days ago)
i agree! NEW POLL! bahahahaha
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butterblocksmom (915.8 days ago)
OK...new poll is now up! Share your thoughts!
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butterblocksmom (915.8 days ago)
I vote we start a new poll...like what is the most important trait in a successful relationship...and marriage ceremony is NOT going to be one of the choices, lol!!!!
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sheework (915.8 days ago)
I will delete if everyone wants it to get nasty. No one is belittling anyone marriage. No is ignorant literal meaning or not. I wish people could just let this debate continue as just that as a debate not a mud slinging contests. Ease up people it`s only a poll!
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mikey and cjs mommy (915.8 days ago)
sheework- i think deleting is the way to go! this is obviously a very touchy and emotional poll on both sides of the fence and i think deleting will help everyone calm down. who would have though that what others refer to their spouses as would cause so much tension? its not anyones business anyways who is reffered to as what and if it is `legal` for them to be referred to as that. this is just silly.
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mikey and cjs mommy (915.8 days ago)
sheework- i think deleting is the way to go! this is obviously a very touchy and emotional poll on both sides of the fence and i think deleting will help everyone calm down. who would have though that what others refer to their spouses as would cause so much tension? its not anyones business anyways who is reffered to as what and if it is `legal` for them to be referred to as that. this is just silly.
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mikey and cjs mommy (915.8 days ago)
sheework- i think deleting is the way to go! this is obviously a very touchy and emotional poll on both sides of the fence and i think deleting will help everyone calm down. who would have though that what others refer to their spouses as would cause so much tension? its not anyones business anyways who is reffered to as what and if it is `legal` for them to be referred to as that. this is just silly.
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happyforest (915.8 days ago)
i am not being IGNORANT of anything. i know that in different places, different things are considered `marriage`. HERE in indiana, you MUST have the legal paper and be legally married to be considered married. i now in other places, there are things like common law and those are considered married or `husband` so i dont understand what is the arguement even about?
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butterblocksmom (915.8 days ago)
We`re all entitled to our opinions and have the right to voice them. I am certain no one is belittling your CHOICE to get married. Some ladies on here are simply speaking up for/defending their choice NOT to get married. And yes, it does look like there is belittling happening on both sides.
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pooka (915.8 days ago)
curse our liberal views!!! Damn Canadians LOL
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sheework (915.8 days ago)
I have never really fully looked into our rights. I do know that I am listed as executor of his estate and listed as main beneficiary on his will and I think that right there gives me rights. I am on his life insurance and he will soon be added to my insurance not as my husband. We do not have common law here but there are things you can do to ensure your rights to your partner.
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pooka (915.8 days ago)
yanno the irony of it.. I was technically still married to my ex (as in had a paper signed saying i was his wife still), living with my partner and considered common law to him. I had to claim on my income tax that he was my common law husband WHILE still legally married to my now ex-husband. So apparently my current relationship took precedence, in theory I was almost forced polygamous in the eyes of the law LOL
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happyforest (915.8 days ago)
sorry i didnt mean to sound like im speaking for EVERYONE EVERYWHERE. i forgot to say that we dont have common law where i am from. if so, and there was no difference b/w common law and marriage, then there wouldnt be any reason you `had` to get married.
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happyforest (915.8 days ago)
to me `husband` is the title of your LEGAL married partner. now, the things that make someone a husband personality and emotionally you can have without the legal paper of marriage. but technically they are not your husband unless legally married. i think `boyfriend` isnt enough though, and it is something that sounds less serious, when you can have the seriousness of marriage without all of the legalities. however, there are some things you still cant have when it comes to his death and medical and stuff, which is a good reason to eventually get married if you plan on being together seriously with a family and growing old together. we dont have common law here, so thats why im saying that
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sheework (915.8 days ago)
I said in my other poll we have been together almost 9 years and have never said we will for sure marry one day. We don`t know. We both know that we will spend our lives together and right now are content with that. It`s our friends really who will call us husband and wife or introduce us as that because even they will say calling us boyfriend and girlfriend doesn`t do our relationship justice. I think boyfriend and girlfriend is kind of a high school term when you are that committed.
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pooka (915.9 days ago)
I think what people are considering is the legal term `marriage` and excluding the emotional union that marriage is suppose to entail. There is an assumption that when people sign that paper that they are emotionally committed to each other. When in actual fact marriage is not about signing that paper, it is about union. Even the act of signing is only a `symbol` for the life long binding of the couple. You can certainly have a paper marriage legally without any commitment or union of the heart, but is it really a marriage? No its a legal contract, broken through legal process. Rather unromantic if you ask me. There is also a huge difference between the `legal definition` of marriage and the actual literal definition. One has no need for emotional connection, the other is a binding of two people and has no need for any paper to be signed. So I suppose it comes down to which definition you choose to follow. The one created through laws of governance, or the one which takes into consideration only the desire and willing joining of two people in a life long commitment.
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pooka (915.9 days ago)
common law is identical in all ways as a signed sanctioned `paper` marriage.
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mikey and cjs mommy (915.9 days ago)
athena:i think it is GREAT that you have your own feelings and opinions as to what defines marriage and saying your married...yet you still see and understand the other side of it. if only there were more ppl who had the understanding you do when they have opposite views.
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athenab1984 (915.9 days ago)
I would like to add to my answer below that I know MANY people who are in a long term relationship who are way better off than a married couple though. So really, it just depends. Some prefer to have it that way. I read on an interview with Brad Pitt when asked `why don`t you and Aneglina Joli just get married`? His response was `we`ll get married when everyone has that same right`! I love that response...you don`t HAVE to be legally married to have a fufilled life.
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mikey and cjs mommy (915.9 days ago)
i think it is rude and insulting to say `get married!` if you want to call the man you love, your long time partner/life partner husband. People meet and get married with in weeks of getting together. Yes the have a PAPER but most often in that case they do NOT have a MARRIAGE! No where in any dictionary in any country is MARRIAGE defined as a man and woman having a piece of paper that gives them the right to refer to one another as husband and wife. MARRIAGE is defined as a loving committed relationship bewteen two peopple and the willingness to join their lives as one. Didnt know you could only do that by signing a paper that can easily be burned, trhown away, voided! Anyone who has issues or thinks its bizzar for a couple who is `not married` to refer to another as if they are....you are most likely insecure in your `marriage` and only feel defined by your paper.
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athenab1984 (915.9 days ago)
In my opinon, yes, if not married, everything else IS just a relationship. Along with marriage comes the RIGHTS. Things like health benefits from spouses employer. I do not know of any one one a relationship alone who is able to recieve these types of benefits unless you are married. There is a common law marriage, based on where you live. Even then, I am not certain of all the rights given to those couples?
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pooka (915.9 days ago)
like i said in the other poll even legally you do not have to get married to be considered husband and wife, common law is legally the same thing.
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mama2conrad (915.9 days ago)
I think a `husband` is someone you are married to. To call your long term boyfriend a husband is just bizarre to me. If you want to call him your husband, then get married!
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butterblocksmom (915.9 days ago)
Well, I`ve been `married` in the `eyes of god` with a `piece of paper` called a marriage certificate and then had the loser lie and cheat...so I divorced him. The `act` of marriage means nothing to me. I`ve been with my hubby now (we`re not actually married) for almost 7 years and have 2 kids. I love and am 100% committed to him. I`d put my relationship with him up against any `marriage` and feel confident that there would be no difference other than that `piece of paper`. PS My EX Husband is now on his second divorce....married less than 2 years. So, I`d choose my `relationship` over an actual `marriage` anyday. I think it is the people that 'require' marriage that have the issues with it....having been married to one, lol!
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ibaheir2dathrone (915.9 days ago)
`In a Marriage` how do you get married?? Do you sign something? imho the certificate proves marriage everything else is a relationship. (committed or not)
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pooka (915.9 days ago)
according to Websters. * Main Entry: 1hus·band * Pronunciation: \ˈhəz-bənd\ * Function: noun * Etymology: Middle English husbonde, from Old English hūsbonda master of a house, from Old Norse hūsbōndi, from hūs house + bōndi householder; akin to Old Norse būa to inhabit; akin to Old English būan to dwell — more at bower * Date: 13th century 1 : a male partner in a marriage 2 British : manager, steward 3 : a frugal manager — hus·band·ly adjective Nothing there about needing a `piece of paper`
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