military~mommy`s poll Show results | Hide results

california-mom (76.2 days ago)
Good for you, military~mommy....You made a wise well thought out decision. I dont condone cheating but I would have done what you did.

military~mommy (76.5 days ago)
Well, from experience I can tell you that you can move past it, you can go weeks without it entering your mind. You can trust him again. I didn`t `let him get away with it`. He paid for his mistake every day for about 7 months, in my bitchiness, my anger, snide comments, and occasions when I broke down in tears. But we worked on our relationship, we moved past it. We have a family. And what my husband did was go to florida for work, hang out with a bunch of single guys at a bar, and had a one night stand that he barely remembers. BUT he told me about it. And that made the difference. He told me when he could have kept his mouth shut and would never have known. He needed my forgiveness, and was willing to accept the consequences of confessing.

sheework (76.6 days ago)
I don`t know if I could stick it out. We have been together going on 9 years and in that time I have NEVER doubted him. Trust is what has made us last this long so if that was to be questioned it would be hard. I don`t know if I could get past imagining him with someone else, just the thought gets me angry and disgusted!

t555rm (76.7 days ago)
I can`t imagine such a thing happening to me. I trust my husband 100% so maybe that`s why just thinking of him cheating on me makes me so mad. I`d end the relationship then and there coz once the trust is lost, then it`s almost impossible for me to get along with the person. He and i would be living a lie together. The smallest argument would escalate and i`d find myself being suspicious of the slightest thing. So I see no point in being together. Hmm, am harsh and unforgiving that way.

jacobbs-mommy (76.8 days ago)
Well this hits close to home for me, but the difference is, I cheated, we werent married and had only been together for about 2 weeks and he left for the desert. I was young and had a drinking problem and I know thats not an excuse but that what happened I got drunk and made a mistake. Well we broke up for about a year and a half and still stayed the best of friends and now we are together again and happy as we could be. I know I would NEVER do it again and we are both very secure in our choice to try it again.

my hands r full (76.8 days ago)
i can sit here and say i would leave him once he cheats but i cant really say until im in that situation. i voted it depends with who and how long. i kinda feel like if he ever cheated i would leave him cause i wouldnt be able to trust him again and i dont think our relationship would work like that. i also would feel like if i stayed then i would be letting him get away with disrespecting me and he can easily go do it again thinking i would forgive him but idk. if it were with a family member for sure i couldnt stay.. thats way more than just crossing the line. i guess we all dont really know until we are in the situation.

jenakers (76.8 days ago)
No one can say with 100% certainty what they would do until they are in the situation. It COMPLETELY depends on the people involved, circumstances and how they intend to move forward. Sometimes it is not how you act but, how you react that determines who you are. That also goes for the SO.

twins4me2009 (76.8 days ago)
marriage is very important.. but I dont think I would be able to live worrying about where he is or if he is cheating again.. ect. I told my hubby if he screws up.. then just kiss me and the kids good bye!

ilovemylittleprince (76.8 days ago)
i couldn`t stay in a relationship where i was cheated on. its just not fair, i deserve all of the man i married and once you ruin the trust its gone and you will never think or love that person the same and its just not worth it, id rather try to find someone that loves and deserves me than waste my time trying to fix something that obviously isn`t there if he cheated on me

yorkc39 (76.8 days ago)
That`s definetly hard. My DH had an affair with another woman while I was in my 3rd trimester, and though I was always the one saying I would never stay with someone who cheated, I ended up forgiving him because of our newborn daughter and because I knew he really wasn`t this person underneath, and he felt bad for it. We`ve been separated for a while but are moving back in next week actually lol. I wouldn`t judge someone for wanting to leave after their husband cheats, I think it`s the one justifiable thing that can cause a spouse to leave a marriage, but if the person decides to stay, they are very forgiving.

happyforest (76.8 days ago)
omg i just had a nightmare about this last night!!! it was horrible, i woke up sweating and crying :( in my dream i was packing my stuff and forest`s stuff and going to my mom`s. then i got there and decided i would wait for him to call or text me first, and he never did! it was devastating how much he didnt care. it was hard for me not to be mad at him when i woke up lol but yes i would leave, i couldnt go on everyday remember what my fiance did with some other chick! and you would remember EVERY SINGLE DAY for the rest of your life....its not like you could ever forget. and whats a relationship without trust? AND if he knew he could cheat and get away with it, whats to stop him? when he can have you AND everyone else....idk why anyone would stay but i guess maybe some people could handle that i know i couldnt

roomfor1more (76.8 days ago)
military~mommy, you are not a stupid woman and neither am I for staying with our husbands after they cheated. I instantly forgave my husband because he was honest with me, I didn`t even have to ask him about it, he came to me. I don`t think I would have if he would have denied it if I did asked. I already knew he cheated, but I gave him time to tell me. Anyway, since this has happened we have been able to help other couples through this rough time. I believe and I know most will disagree, but it has made my relationship even better. I think until you go through it, you may say one thing (like I would leave), but decide differently once it happens.

chrissy-511 (76.8 days ago)
I would definitely leave him without even thinking about it...i would never be able to trust him again & you can`t have a good relationship of any kind without trust.

canadababy (76.8 days ago)
I hope I could deal with it like you did military~mommy, but I couldn`t be sure until I`m in the situation...I have a bit of a temper and I`m quick to cut people out but I hope I could see it the way you did :)

Mumbo (76.9 days ago)
Personally, I would end it because I could not live my life questioning whether he was doing it again. Every time he was late from work, every time he didn`t answer his phone, every time another woman looked at him, I would be thinking `is he cheating again?` It`s the ultimate betrayal of trust, some couples grow stronger because of that and I take my hat off to those, but I know what I`m like, I`d rather cut my losses and deal with the immediate pain, than a lifetime of low self-esteem and suspicion...

nmck (77 days ago)
I agree with Ella. If it was a once and done slip up, I think I would be more likely to move past it. If it went on for a long period of time and there were feelings involved on his side, it would be much harder for me to get past. I would definitely have a harder time getting past emotional infidelity.

EllaG (77 days ago)
If it was a one off moment of madness, I might try and work things out. At the end of the day, we`ve been together nearly 9 years, have a house, a baby on the way, all the trimmings, so I`d like to try to work through it but I think that if it were a long, torrid affair and he had been deceiving me for months, then I would never be able to trust him again and would make him leave immediately.

military~mommy (77 days ago)
So, a bit of drama has entered my life. A friend slept with another friends husband. My DH cheated on me several years ago, I was angry for a long time, but I forgave him and we did our best to move past it. And we have, it causes me no pain or jealousy any more, but it took time and rebuilding all of our trust again. So this is what I tell my friend who has just learned her husband cheated. She wants to work it out, they have two children and she loves him. Our other friend (who appears to have the PERFECT marriage) automatically assumed she would leave her husband, move back home, and file for a legal seperation. I never thought of myself as the stupid woman who stayed with a cheating man. I have a good life with my husband and am so grateful we made it through that rough time. I am just wondering how many women consider cheating to be the END of a relationship.



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