brendalee`s poll Show results | Hide results

brendalee (848.5 days ago)
Thank you everyone for the imput :) I talked to my hubs late last night and told him that I intended on buying the car whether he likes it or not because it was something we needed. He asked that I at least wait til this weekend and look by fort bragg so he can see it in person and we don`t have to worry about getting it transfered from lejeune to bragg. So I said fine..we compromised and I said I`d look at Rick Hendrick ( a huge dealership by us, I already found a jeep liberty online that I like a lot) and I told him we ARE getting a car there and I`d do it without his help or with his help.

delarla (848.6 days ago)
Wow... I love my mother in law and she tries to treat my husband like yours does, but thankfully he stands up to her. She use to work at the credit union, but would NEVER think of messing with our accounts. She can add money to it for special occasions, but thats it. Just because he is family does not mean she has the right to treat your account like her own. I think you should go look at the car. You guys are a team and he should want whats best for you and your daughter. Also, I recommend USAA. We pay between $60-$80 a payday for insurance with them and that`s to insure both of our vehicles.

piglet2686 (849.1 days ago)
i would do it your babys health is the most important thing! then onc you buy it then you will have a reason to tell the POS truck! then you can get some money back! :0)

.bekah. (849.1 days ago)
yall shoudve given up the truck during the cash for clunkers program!! whats the point in having something ya cant drive? I really dont see how people do it with one vehicle, my husbands always giving guys lifts home cause their wives had the vehicles for the day, why doesnt your husband let you drive and drop him off to work every now again especially when yalls daughter has a doctors apt, i know the apts are pretty hard to get and you do have to schedule them well in advance, i know for sure his NCO`s cannot make him have a car no matter what kind of tasking he has, there is nowhere in his contract, and he definitly cant get in trouble if he doesnt. I would talk to your husband first put your foot down though, and let him know if there is no other vehicle than you will be dropping him off at work and picking him up, and dont let him give you any bs that he HAS to have a vehicle that day, bc he does not he just wants to have the vehicle. I know the army pretty daggone well so if you have any questions please feel free to ask. your husband CANNOT get a counseling, get in trouble over anything like that, cause it sounds to me your hubby makes his NCO;s out to like mess with him, which you can go to your congressman and than there will be a few NCO`s getting in trouble. best wishes

luvbeingamom (849.1 days ago)
Brendalee - I also would find concern in the statement of `your husband won`t LET you....`. You are not his to control. a marriage is a 2 way street and you shoudl be able to talk about things and come to an agreement. I would def sell the truck and get the car. Be smart about it. Check blue book, check insurnace rates, tell your husband you want to see your bank books. Also, get the car checked my a mechanic before purchase. To make sure it is a good buy. But you need to talk to your husband, as the other ladies said, it is a safety issue. Oh and to add... if you are miltary, try using Navy Federal or another credit union. They are great! :-)

Mommy Of [Three] (849.2 days ago)
I would say go for it cause u need it and i think hubby needs to grow up and talk to u about things like this not his parents.

jinx-marcell (849.3 days ago)
yes, you need the car for you and your son, never let some one get in the way of you taking care of your kid(s)

brendalee (849.3 days ago)
The truck would neeeever make it to Camp Lejeune lol I was just going to put a grand down on it. Nmck I don`t work so I`d just use my hubby`s pay. I just checked our Dfas (miliary pay statment) and after bills and rent and even a couple hundred each month of random spending money we have $1500 left, which is more than I thought....my hubby always made it sound like we got paid crap.

nmck (849.3 days ago)
I think it is abit concerning that there are so many things your husband won`t `let` you do. What is his argument against a taxi if that is the only way you can get your daughter to her appointments? That is just assanine in my opinion. How would you make the monthly car payments? Do you make money?

hunnybunnysmama (849.3 days ago)
sounds like you`re trapped in your own home! I`d go nuts if I couldn`t go to the library, grocery store, play centers, zoo, coffee shop, etc during the week... maybe your sanity is worth something to your husband? you need to get out into the world! your baby needs to see and experience the world on a day to day basis to develop social skills... I bet if you had a car you`d find something better to do than run errands and go to the Dr! :)

jenakers (849.3 days ago)
Sell the truck or trade it in, then buy a car. Tell him you are buying a car. Don`t `ask`.

brendalee (849.4 days ago)
Well I don`t even hang out with anyone down here...so I`d only use it to take her to her appointments and to run errands. I cant drive the truck because it`s a two seater, and it`s stick shift. Plus its an 85 so I`d never in a million years put Raelyn in it. Like I said, it`s not even worth insuring. My hubs refuses to switch banks because he thinks every other bank steals your money. We`re on government insurance too so the insurance for it wouldn`t even be that much, and we have money to spend..after each pay check when the bills are all paid we have a grand left to spend as we please so an extra $300 or 400 won`t hurt us, especially with all the money we have in savings.

nutnut (849.4 days ago)
i think you really need a car for our safety and your children`s safety. i dont know what the deal is with husbands trying to control everything and keep women at home. i dont know how you actually survived without a car. i didnt have a car for years bc we couldnt afford it and it was so tough especially since my SO was gone for weeks at at time with our only transportation. i was always worried sick about things. whle i wouldnt wipe out our whole account, i would definatly tell him that this isnt about joy rides or you getting out of the house to visit friends or socialize that this is seriously about neeed and safety. i wouldnt do anything behind my partners back bc i wouldnt want them to do that to me. i would also NOT deal with the bank your MIL works at. go to a different bank. she has no right to deny you a loan just bc she doesnt like them. she cant not send in your loans thats illegal btw. anyhow... whats wrong with getting the truck insured?? you can do that without his approval, and why cant you drive the truck? i would try to work with what will be cheaper. i wouldnt go out buying a car if the truck was already an option. im not sure i would even want to be married to someone who was that controlling and that inclined to listen to his parents so much. (no offense). youre both adults, you have a family to take care of, and needs to be met. this is about getting your child the medical help he or she needs. getting to dr. appointments, etc.like i said i wouldnt go spending alot of money, i would try to get the truck useable first either by hubby or yourself. 9k is still alot of money for a used car, and keep in mind while you may only be paying 150.00 a month for the car, the insurance will go up significantly maybe even more than 150.00 a month. while getting the truck running may only cost you less than 100.00 a month for insurance. good luck. dont go behind his back and do it anyway. be adult about it and give him options. youre not telling him he has no choice, but you do need a car. he can definatly try to meet you halfay here.

brendalee (849.4 days ago)
Yeah, The only transit that can go onbase is a taxi...and my husband won`t let me get one if we need to go anywhere. And The on base ambulance can`t come off base, and vice versa (we live off base). And if this also influences anyone`s choice..we don`t pay off anything right now. The only thing we pay for is rent, cable and our phone bills.

hunnybunnysmama (849.4 days ago)
I`m not sure how you would hide a car in the driveway, lol. Maybe if his parents think it`s such a bad idea they can come drive you around.... its too bad he can`t make his own decisions. if you don`t have mass transit near you I think its a bad idea NOT to have a car.. if there were an emergency you`d have to call an amulance or 911 - that might cost you more than a car in the long run. Does he have a legitimate reason - other than the loan and his mommy telling him not to?

brendalee (849.4 days ago)
ladobruk by without his consent I meant whether he likes it or not. He knows I found it and that Im going to look at it. And when she does miss appointments it's because he needs his car for work because his NCOs put him on a tasking. He just got a year long tasking too so for the next year he's going to have a lot of crap to do.

Str8 As (849.4 days ago)
Brenda, I wouldn`t hide it, but I would let him know that you ARE getting the vehicle and you want him to look at it. Why does his parents talk him out of it? Are they paying for it? NO!!?! so what`s the deal? Girl get your car so you can take car of business and still involve your hubby too...just be upfront and don`t take no for an answer...best wishes to ya!

Dannie (849.4 days ago)
I strongly suggest you don`t go behind your husband`s back and purchase the car- the money you have in your savings account can quickly be eaten up by a medical emergeceny or something of that sort- the cost of the car exceeds what you have in savings, so perhaps you should try to find a car that is half the price of the one you found.

luvbeingamom (849.4 days ago)
Then i would first talk to him about how he is now your SO and not his mother`s son! He needs to what is best for your family. If he still says no b/c of his family, then i would do what the other ladies suggested and just tell him you are buying the car and then go do it. :-) Good luck!

brendalee (849.5 days ago)
No, other than his parents bitching at him over it there is no other reason he doesn`t want a car. He knows we need one and every once in a while he`ll get to the point where he`ll go to a dealership and look at cars, and then he`ll call his parents and they`ll talk him out of it.

luvbeingamom (849.5 days ago)
Other than not wanting a loan... is there a reason he is saying no. Esp when it is something you need, not something you want?

angie2008 (849.5 days ago)
That`s a hard one. I would normally say don`t do it because it`s not a good thing to begin to do in a marriage. If you feel like he is being influenced and not thinking logically and realistically than i would go for it. That is a pretty cheap payment for a car too and the 1000bucks isn`t going to kill you since you already have a bunch saved.

happymommee2kj (849.5 days ago)
I`m with cheeky on this one just tell him your buying another car whether he likes it or not.

brendalee (849.5 days ago)
Well yeeeah I wasn`t going to `hide` it...I called him and left him a voicemail saying I found a car that I was going to go look at. It`s at Camp LeJeune where Im at til Friday because Im staying with my sister and BIL while my hubs is in the field...my BIL is a NCO here and they tend to have some influence, especially when dealerships are dealing with military wives....so Im going to bring him with and see if we can`t talk them down a bit even though the blue book value is $10,000.

brendalee (849.5 days ago)
He has gone and bought things without my concent. Not as big as a car obviously...but in the range of hundreds of dollers. It`s something we literally NEED that he`ll never agree to.

brendalee (849.5 days ago)
There is no talking him into it haha I packed mine and my LOs crap and threatened to leave once the first time she missed her specialist appointment because he couldn`t give me the car for the day and wouldn`t even look at cars. He said even if the car we have now breaks down he still wouldn`t get another one. Trust me..NOTHING will get him to say yes lol and If he thinks it`s a good idea for a second, as soon as he calls his parents they`ll convice him to change his mind. They always do.

mskitty (849.5 days ago)
As much as I think you should just go for it..I thnk you need to talk it over with your husband. What would you think if he went out an bought something big without your concent..

luvbeingamom (849.5 days ago)
i think the car is a great idea, but i said bad idea, b/c you are going ot hide a HUGE purchase from your husband. That isn`t good practice in a marriage in my opinion. I would talk to him and try to talk him into it. Loans can be good and can help credit. You should do your research first and talk to him about it before buying.

brendalee (849.5 days ago)
So we NEED a second car. We bought a truck so we would have one but I can`t drive it and it`s not insured so my husband can`t drive it and he refuses to get it insured because it's such a POS. My LO has to see a specialist every 2 or 3 months and you have to book an appointment 5 or 6 months in advance because they`re so overbooked...I`ve missed two appointments, almost missed her last one because my husband couldn`t let me have our car. Theres also been times where we needed to go to the ER but had to wait hours because the higher ups wouldn`t let my husband leave work. I found a 2006 Honda Civic (which is my DREAM car) for $8,995. I thought about buying it without his concent if the dealership will let me because my MIL works at our bank and thinks loans (with the exception of homes) are the devil (yes...thats her real insite on it haha) and she works at our bank and won`t approve or send in our loans. We have the money for it...theres about $6,000 or $7,000 in our bank account, which is pretty good for only having one income and being as young as we are. I was going to put $1,000 down which would make my payments $120-150 a month. We NEEEEED another car, my husband will NEVER say yes to it but my mom and sister are telling me to go for it....so what do you think?



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