ADDISYNS~MUM`s poll Show results | Hide results

sooexcitedtobemommy (813.1 days ago)
Umm, thats scary. I agree with tto and linzigenavieve. I wouldn`t say anything about `that` to her again, but let her know she can come and talk to you about anything.

california-mom (814.2 days ago)
I agree with xoblondiexo. *and you probably made that girl feel so embarassed and ashamed =(

nutnut (814.3 days ago)
i guess im weird. i would probably just tell the little girl not to do that bc she can hurt herself if shes not careful. the fact she got really upset over it would raise some concern and i would just talk to mom later. my daughter never really did anything like that other than the ocassional grab or scratch which i then ask if she needs to use the lady`s room. if she says no, then i say ok then stop grabbing yourself its not ladylike and thats the end of it.

nutnut (814.3 days ago)
i guess im weird. i would probably just tell the little girl not to do that bc she can hurt herself if shes not careful. the fact she got really upset over it would raise some concern and i would just talk to mom later. my daughter never really did anything like that other than the ocassional grab or scratch which i then ask if she needs to use the lady`s room. if she says no, then i say ok then stop grabbing yourself its not ladylike and thats the end of it.

Tara83 (814.3 days ago)
I just want to say that I think you are only human and seeing as how you are a care giver for another persons child you always wonder about boundaries and what things are appropriate for you to handle and what things should be discussed with the parents. I agree with what everyone else has said about how this is a normal part of growing up. It seems as though the little girl is discovering her body and the next step is being able to show her love and support in discovering herself while learning that somethings are private. I think that addressing the issue with the parents in a non confronting way would really help you all be on the same page about the issue. Ask them how much they have told her about her body and what they do to explain to her that touching herself is normal but only in private, that way when she is in your care she won`t receive conflicting messages as children can confuse easily and you don`t want her to feel bad. If it makes you personally uncomfortable when she does touch herself (as it is not your own child again I am sure there are some boundary issues there). Just politely ask her if she would like to go to the washroom that way it takes you out of the situation and as silly as this sounds just make sure when she comes out of the bathroom she washes her hands and then you can both go about your day with out any bad feelings. I see that other people have commented on signs of abuse so if that is also a worry of yours then maybe you need to look into it further.

linzigenavieve (814.3 days ago)
My brother would do this as a child and it was because he was being molested. Definately tell the mother.

tto (814.3 days ago)
This can be a sign of abuse. Call an abuse agency and ask them ANONYMOUSLY about what they think, or a school guidance counselor, or a doctor, or someone you trust that would know. It may be nothing, but it could be something awful.

tto (814.3 days ago)
This can be a sign of abuse. Call an abuse agency and ask them ANONYMOUSLY about what they think, or a school guidance counselor, or a doctor, or someone you trust that would know. It may be nothing, but it could be something awful.

soon2be3 (814.4 days ago)
I can totally understand you not wanting her to do it in front of everyone. You said the polls were saying something totally different...but, maybe you could have an option that said anything about it being natural and telling her there is a time and place for it. I have a nephew who just turned 5. He does full-on rub on himself. He knows he is only suppose to do it in his room. I was a little freaked out when I first saw him doing it one night while he was having a sleepover. He thought it would be ok if he did it in his sleeping bag. I told him that I thought a more appropriate place would be in his own bed, not when other kids are around. We had this discussion one night with girlfriends and several of them said they started masturbating when they were little girls. They knew it felt good, but were ashamed about it because their sibblings/parents made fun of them or told them they were doing something wrong. I would definately talk to the mom and ask her to talk to her daughter about the time and place to do it. She`s so young, she probably thinks she can do it when no one is looking, not even thinking she is in a room with other kids. Like my daughter last night who was laying in my lap and was picking her boogers. I said something to her just as she was going to put it in her mouth...yeah yuck...but she was so in the moment, watching TV and relaxing, that she totally forgot she was right there with me.

nycmommy (814.4 days ago)
This was a topic on the drs a few weeks ago.... He said it is perfectly and completly normal behavior and the reason they do it is because it feels good nothing sexual about it... The only way to go about this is explain that it is alright but is something to do in private not in common places....Talk to the mother and ask her to reassure the child that nothing is wrong with her behavior just needs to be done in private... If not she can be scarred emotionally

love.Nora (814.4 days ago)
It is perfectly normal for kids to do this! I have taught my 4 year old son instead of walking aorund pulling on it all the time that there are places where he can do it in private. I told him if you are going to do that it has to be in your bedroom or the bathroom because it is private. We havent had any other problems

ADDISYNS~MUM (814.4 days ago)
i completely understand what all of you are saying... and i COMPLETLY understand what your saying about boys touching themselves... but NOT full out masturbating! if i were watching a boy or had a boy that just turned 4 i personally would not let them masturbate... touching exploring fine... but not getting off... especially in the living room... dinning room kitchen... in front of everyone! cheekybee... how do you figure im teaching her to feel bad about herself! anyways... pools are showing a different thing than the comments... but thank you all for commenting... im going to talk to her mother tonight and figure out what she does... thank you again!

3blessings (814.4 days ago)
I agree with everyone else as well. She should be able to explore herself, but just in private. I`m not sure what kind of day care you run, but I can understand you not wanting her to do it around other kids. The last thing you need is other kids going home and telling their parents that there is a girl that rubs herself downstairs or something. Then you got parents calling you up asking what the hell is going on there. I would just bring it up to her mother casually...

bellajenna (814.4 days ago)
its natural thing to do all kids do it

JordanAndKarasMummy (814.4 days ago)
OMG my daughter is 13 months and as soon as you get her nappy of shes `down there` EXPLORING, thats what they do :) Telling her its BAD could damage her in later years, everyone experiment...at all ages

rosye13 (814.4 days ago)
This is so common. Nothing to worry about for sure! I remember my best friend`s little sister doing it when I was younger. Anyway, I think you should tell her that she`s not being bad but that it`s not something she should be doing in front of people, etc. Maybe mention it to the parents, but I wouldn`t make a big deal of it so that they feel embarrassed. Because after all, we all have those feelings or there wouldn`t be babies would there? lol.

brendalee (814.4 days ago)
That`s normal. It`s not like she gets what she`s doing and she`s doing it to be a perv. She doesn`t get what it is, and as everyone else said at that age it`s normal.

jaychay (814.4 days ago)
this is totally normal my little sister used to stradle the sofa my friends daughter done similar things too aroung the same age. i think they just get heightened sensations at this age. dont tell her ots wrong or not to do it as its a phase and it will end. if you are worried she has seen her dad do it or theres somthing deeper keep an eye out and ask her mother if she does this at home also as ots more likely shes doing the same thing at home and they are telling her not to do it in other places.

Lou-Li-Ro (814.4 days ago)
Masturbation is completely normal, and it could damage her view of herself and her body if she is made to feel bad about it at this early stage. You should definitely talk to her parents and let them know it is a normal thing and that it is part of her figuring out about her body etc.

soon2be3 (814.4 days ago)
I agree with everyone on here. Natural. If it was a boy, would there be any concern with him touching his penis? It`s bizzare to me that people get so worked up when a female touches themselves. Totally off subject...a man can scratch his penis in public and be totally fine. They are so use to doing it, they don`t even realize they are doing it. BUT, hey...a woman has an itch downstairs and has to drive herself crazy until she can use the restroom. Blah!

RobinG (814.4 days ago)
I`m with mommykate and others ~ normal and common. Havent you seen the many little boys that age always touching themselves or holding it while just walking ot standing there and moms/dads asking if they need to go potty and them saying no ~ they are doing the same thing ~ it isnt sexual, it is just a part of normal exploration and one they should learn to do privately.

armymom (814.4 days ago)
i agree, it`s normal.. I`m embarrassed to say I did something similar at a young age. :S

mommykate (814.4 days ago)
this is VERY typical behaviour or a four year old. Tell the mother, and tell her it is normal. understand the little girl isnt doing anything `wrong` or `gross`, she just needs to learn to do it in private. you and the mother should come up with a plan together as how to teach her that.

manzie91k (814.4 days ago)
I`m not sure if telling her to stop or not is the right thing at her age. My only concern would be if this is an experimental behavior, or a learned behavior. If she has learned this from somewhere it could be a sign of sexual abuse. Before jumping to conclusions though, I would try to figure out more information.

3girls2008 (814.4 days ago)
i think this is def something that you should talk to her mom about but i dont think i would have told the 4 yr old i was going to. she may have no idea what she is doing but there may also be a deeper secret behind it. maybe dad saw her doing this and told her not to (like they knew about it and have already asked her to stop) and she is afraid of getting in trouble, but to protect the child cause ya never know things like this should always be discussed with a parent, if mom is the one who picks her up then mom. good luck



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