Holly28`s poll Show results | Hide results

pipermakes3 (734.5 days ago)
i agree w jeff on the internet being a luxury. i also feel cell phones, credit card and internet bills should be payed after food and diapers are bought

pipermakes3 (734.5 days ago)
this is unfortunately normal for some people who are bad money managers. i lived fine on 40k with two kids and no support, back before i got married. I currently have a friend who claims her husband makes 80k per year, they have no real bills no kids, bad credit and my husband jokes and says they couldn`t buy a piss aunt a wrestling jacket.lol I don`t know what they do wrong but i don`t think they have any addictions. she says he sends money home to his mom. is say she waste too much on her lap dog and fast food. they also neither one seem to get the fact that when you pay your bills late you are just costing yourself more. she always wants to borrow money from me and says she will pay it back. then says she wants to work it off in house cleaning insted. but she is a crappy house cleaner and you have to stay right with her or she is on your computer. i have to go behind her and clean. finally i told her i have a hard time loaning money to someone who is too good to work. she thinks its her destiny to be a stay at home mom, but theres no kids and seh cant afford not to work. some people are just lazy or bad money managers. bottom line

mrsjmickens1 (735.5 days ago)
what they make or how they spend there money is none of your business. (unless ur friend brings it up to you). stop bringing them things. just say we dont have it,were barely gettting by. theyll find someone else to give it to them.......

grapefruit22 (735.7 days ago)
$50K is little... My husband and I make the same amount of money and split all the bills and yet, I never have money! It just depends on your spending habit. I always complain about bills but it`s really my eating/drinking habit. At work, I go grab breakfast from Au Bon Pain in the morning, we will go eat out at a restaurant at lunchtime, and Starbucks for the afternoon. And then I don`t know where my money goes but little things just add up.

emy (735.8 days ago)
50k a year in a Household with children is nothing! My husband and I make beyond that and there are still months we push it until the next pay. They need a budget. Everyone does. Only way to monitor what you spend and make sure you can make it pay to pay! Unless of course you dont have to worry about money at all, but then I would budget so that I could save more

domsmom2009 (735.8 days ago)
If they have loans, mortgage, credit card debts... those things alone add up. And saying it`s porn or gambling? do you know this from fact or just `assuming`? and you say there bills are the same as you. well people can lie about how much money they owe.

Proudmomma3x (735.8 days ago)
we make well over 70k and live pay check to pay check, income means nothing it is debt to income and 50k really isnt much at all can be many things that can occur. We count pennies at times when it is tough

jasmineflower (735.8 days ago)
50k is not necessarily a lot of money. It does not sound suspicious to me. I would not jump to gambling, etc. to explain this.

nmck (735.8 days ago)
I make 50K and our family could not live on just my salary. Maybe they have a lot of debt and their bills are high...and they are too stupid to prioritize the necessities. I would not lend anymore. They HAVE to figure it out as grown adults!

Str8 As (735.9 days ago)
As a rule of thumb, don`t lend what you can`t live without! So if someone asks you for $20 and you need it then don`t lend it. I could hormonal, but some comment(s) rubbed me the wrong way. Why would someone stop talking to someone just because they fall into financial trouble? What if they were doing alright and then their vehicle broke down or needed a new furnance? like I said before, life happens. Yes we are suppose to prepare for the unexpected, but you might not be able to the way you want. Are we even sure this person makes that amount of money? $50000 is not alot for a family of three, I am assuming that is how many are in that family. IDK

jeff (735.9 days ago)
oh and hte fact that they have the internet means there is tightening room in the budget. (internet is a luxury not a need.) If I was him there is no way I would let my wife n kid go hungry... while I was playing around with luxurys.

jeff (735.9 days ago)
They are probly living beyond their means... credit card debts / school debts etc can all add up. sounds like they need to work on their budget and do some tightening up.

marisha (735.9 days ago)
Money and friends don`t go well together. I just had to lend $1,000 to my husband`s friend and his family. And i hate it, because i have a feeling I`m not getting this money back. However I don`t try and count how much money they have and how much they spend, if they said they need it, then I guess they do...It`s none of my business, and I think your friend`s financial situation is none of your business either. especially if your friend gets defensive about your remarks. sorry.

hotpotaaaaato (735.9 days ago)
I think that no matter what the problem is, it all just comes down to poor money management. Poor planning. Yes it could be gambling/porn, but could also be using cash (not credit because you evidently have the same credit bills as you said) for shopping sprees (like a shopaholic), EATING OUT all the time, impulse buys, unexpected little bills adding up over time, more gas milage etc... really in the end it doesn`t matter because it`s not your family, BUT they probably DO need to find a way to make better use of what they do have coming in so they can afford the BASICS as diapers and food. ............... My husband and I are currently going through a program in our church (although it`s not necessarily a christian program) called `Financial Peace University` by Dave Ramsey, and I would recommend it to anyone and EVERYONE. It`s totally opening our eyes to things we didn`t seem to care about before. There is 1 couple in our group that has been on his `plan` for 20 months now (family of 5- he has fluxuating income and she is SAHM), and in that time they have paid off $80,000 in debt! (some of that being their mortgage to pay it off early and rid themselves of a payment.) It`s incredible to take control of money. Maybe you should suggest something like that to them in a nice way. IDK, good luck!

Str8 As (735.9 days ago)
Poor money management or living beyond their means is what I instantly think. Life happens and I personlly would not jump to conclusions...but you know them better than I do....

Holly28 (735.9 days ago)
She didn`t ask me for money, or the diapers to be exact. I had some in her daughter`s size that my LO can`t wear because they give her a rash. Helping her was no big deal. I am more concerned about my friend than her finances. The relationship is VERY tumultuous. They get into huge fights that can end up getting physical, he berates her and belittles her. I don`t like they guy and I trust him about as far as I can throw him. I think there is no excuse for him not making sure he puts enough money aside when he gets his cheque for basic essentials. Like I said below...something just isn`t right. I`m worried about my friend. As for ppl questioning me knowing her finances, we have a very open relationship and discuss `everything` including finances..which is exactly why I brought up to her that something just wasn`t right.

Holly28 (735.9 days ago)
BTW all of the women in our circle of friends feel that `something just isn`t right` as well. Woman`s intuition is rarely wrong.

california-mom (735.9 days ago)
Sounds like what alot of our friends and family are going through. Its normal right now and I wouldnt assume anything about porn or gambling just normal every day bill stuff on a bigger scale. You cant possibly know everything about their financial particulars.

Holly28 (735.9 days ago)
This is the thing I was saying in my first post...THEIR BILLS ARE THE SAME AS OURS (including credit) except for their hydro...and they don`t have a car like we do!It makes no sense that we can pay the same amount of bills on almost half as much money!!! I figure he is either hiding money from her or involved on something from the internet because when he is not at work he is at home so the internet is the only place he could be spending his money.

canadababy (735.9 days ago)
The more money you make the more you spend...Your assumptions don`t seem to be based on anything you`ve mentioned, seems like a big leap. Maybe they have old debt that they have to make big payments on every month. Maybe he`s helping his mother pay her mortgage. It does sound odd that they don`t even have money for food and diapers but if you think they`re wasting their money and asking you for help, you don`t need to feel obligated to give them a hand :)

res (735.9 days ago)
Do they have a lot of loans or a high mortgage?

Holly28 (735.9 days ago)
I suspect that he either has a gambling problem or it into internet porn. I have brought up how odd this situation is to her but she only gets defensive claiming that all of the money goes to bills but when she lists the bills they are the same ones we have for almost the same amounts. Their hydro is more than ours, other than this it`s pretty much the same except WE also have a car and they don`t!



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