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EandTsmum`s poll Show results | Hide results


Other-poll poll Not baby related: Does anyone have any advice on how to tell an 11 year old that her Dad has cancer and is most likely not going to live longer than 6 months? More info inside.
(Other poll by EandTsmum, 721 days ago)



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Comments: 9

debsandgrace (720.8 days ago)
I can recommend the waterbugs and Dragonflies book, i used it for our childen aged 8 and 13 when my mom passed away suddenly 5yrs ago. I worked on and Oncolgy and Haematology ward where i saw a lot of families go throught this kind of thing. IMO its best to be honest and upfront with her at 11 they know when things are been hidden from them. I also agree with Canada 6mths is just an estimate it could be less or more than the 6mths they have given. Everyday should be treated as a gift. Maybe they can make a photo album collage or some sort of scrap book togther. She can then look back on it and remember the times they spent together putting it together. Its very sad for all involved but she must be included and kept informed of whats going on to help her deal with it all now and in the future. My thoughts and prayers are with her and her family.

canadababy (721 days ago)
I don`t know what to say, except I don`t think I`d give a timeline like 6months to live, I would think that`s too much for an 11yr old to handle. In that matter I would probably say we`re not sure how much time is left, because really they don`t, 6months would be an incredibly rough estimate, but I bet it would be like a countdown for her. What a sad situation :(

No.1mama (721 days ago)
My dad died when I was 15, my litle sis was 11 and my little bro was 5. e had Pancreatic ancer and when he was diagnosed it was said he only had 6 months. Well mom and dad sat down with us and pretty much tod all three of us. Dad is sick, and he wont be around much longer, so we need to spend alot of time as a family. He died 2 months later. Although we were all sad, we were expecting it, and took it as good as possible considering the situation. The best way is to just say it straight forward. Th 5 year old however did not know what was suppsed to happen when sombody dies, so the day dad died my brother dropped hi backback and raced into th room where my dad was and just startedto figure it out. We are all very tankful that we were able to him after h was dead to as it provided closure. We all now are able to talk about i very opely as it seems our wounds heeled quite well. There is no better way to tell little ones, then just straigh forward honesty. ( = Good Luck.

Vanilia (721.1 days ago)
An 11 yr old is not really a child anymore - she already know something is going on - I bet you! It is more stressfull for her not to know than to know. Her mom and dad need to sit with her and tell her that they`ll do their best to beat it but that they have to prepare for the worst! No easy way in doing that

mrsjmickens1 (721.1 days ago)
someone needs to sit down n telll her her dad is very sick and she needs to spend as much time with him as possible. maybe help her remember the good times she spent with dad in the 11 years he`s been here. no one explained to me when my dad had terminal cancer so i went along in my life as usual ubtil the very end n now i wis i had spent more time with him toward the end

KFinTX (721.2 days ago)
Another beautiful book is called `The Next Place.` It can be really helpful, but it wouldn`t be good for people who don`t believe in/reject God.

EandTsmum (721.2 days ago)
It`s extremely sad and I don`t know my mum`s partner too well and have actually tried to keep a distance because it`s so heartbreaking and I didn`t want to have to deal with it (selfish I know) but now my mum needs someone to lean on as she has to be strong for her partner. It`s in the sons bones now too so there`s not much hope. They are going to meet with the daughter school counseller to get some advice and I told my mum to call up the Australian Cancer Council for some help too. My mum has a grandaugther the same age (my niece) so it`s hitting home pretty hard for her. dollygirl - I`ve heard there are some books about that sort of thing too, I`ll tell them to look in to it too. Thanks for your thoughts.

hannahe (721.2 days ago)
wow i have no idea what i would say, but my prayers and thoughts are with them.

EandTsmum (721.3 days ago)
My mum’s partner has a 30 year old son who had leukemia in his early 20s but was given the all clear. About a year ago he found out it was back and then yesterday told his father (my mums partner) that he’s been given 6 months to live. The problem now is that they need to tell his 11 year old daughter. So far, she knows her dad is sick like he was before, but she just says ‘he will get better like last time’. They now need to explain to her how serious it is but don’t know how to go about it. Her mother has only just come back in to her life after being out of contact with her since she was an infant so she has had a bit of a rough life with her dad being sick and her mum being absent. My mums partner has raised her on and off over the years so she definitely has a lot of family members who will be there for her. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.



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