Aiona (348.8 days ago) You sound like you are coping just fine. But your sister. . . is still in denial. It doesn`t sound like your dad will ever change. I would let him be. Love only those who love you. My golden rule. Keeps me sane.
tto (349.2 days ago) Leave him out of your life. It doesn`t sound like he has one single redeeming quality. I have noticed from observation that the crappier the parent, the more desperate children are for their affection. Children know how to love unconditionally- even someone very unworthy. I`ve seen it in young children and older children and young adults. I think your sister just needs therapy and the hell with him.
Waiting for Roland (349.3 days ago) I cannot ask her this, but I wanted to ask her what the heck she was even thinking....nary a gift for my three nephews, he got a gift for my dd once because I was the only one who sat with hi at his mom`s funeral, other than that NOTHING, he saw dd when we ran into himc n public and thatcis it, and she thinks he wil just be so excited for her baby? Poor girl. I do feel so bad and mad but also questioning her thought process.
LadyVenom (349.3 days ago) my `dad`...ugh i hate even typing that..blew off the only chance he could have seen me in 13 years because I requested that my mother be present. He was very sick with schizophrenia so he was on alot of meds after I was born. His psycho parents manipulated him into thinking my mom was cheating on him and helped him hate her over the years. Many more details but not important. What is important is that I just dropped the idea of hoping he wanted to know me and love me. It became too much of a burden on my shoulders. I grew up without a father and I am used to it. Through letting go, you gain a strength and empowerment. You can choose to keep dwelling on it or just drop it and move on. What should be motivation for you is your kids :) strong mommy =strong kids with great morals and sense of self. Your story is very sad, but I think you are already a strong woman so just don`t bother yourself with him anymore and stay connected to your sisters. He is not worth the trouble, especially if all of you have problems already to deal with.
2babiesforme (349.9 days ago) My father was the same I decided to move on with my life and you should do the same! My dad died 2 yrs ago and it was a huge weight off my shoulders. Really you should both move on and focus on your kids!
angie2008 (349.9 days ago) Hi there, i`m sorry your dad is a jerk! You guys can`t change your childhood and the scars he gave you and your sisters. What you can do now is chose not to deal with him and his shenanigans. IF it was me, i wouldn`t even bother calling/talking to him about stuff because you know all he is going to do is hurt you. Of course, you probably hope that he will come around ect... BUT in reality he is who he is and isn`t going to change. Go on with your life- you have your mom who did her best and an aunt who raised you. YOu now have your hubby and your daughter and one of the way. FOcus on your family and the positive role models you want to be for your kids. Same for your sisters, join together and uplift be there for each other. Forget about him. Since it`s a big issue and definitely hard to move on, maybe some counseling would help to move past some of the feelings you and your sisters have and help build strong relationships. HOpe this helped :)
lilmissesmum- (350 days ago) My father is a lot like yours I have been diowned so many times its not funny, my younger sister tried to introduce my neice to him when my niece was about 16 months and he totally ignored them both but then we get in trouble for not introducing them to him. My children and even my husband have never met him, I never plan on them meeting him. As far as I am concerned if he disowns me then he disowns any right to meet them. My father is too the point where he has said to me that if I dont talk to any of his side of extended family he would leave us alone. Lovely hey any way I told my sister that if he chooses to treat them that way then he chooses not to know them at all. My father doesnt want children why would he want grandchildren. Any way I hope your sister feels better soon.
Waiting for Roland (350 days ago) Okay, here it is....he yelled at my sister for not sending a Father`s Day card and refused to see her pictures or let her come over. We saw him at my grandmother`s funeral, but other than that it has been ten years since seeing him and many more to actually see him as in talk to him. He left my mom when we were kids and we have been very little to him ever since. My mom was very, very sick and we didn`t think she would make it....he had a girl on the side the whole time and left. We lived with an aunt. My mom recovered with chemo and time, after which she worked two jobs and could never be home. She hated being a mom,too....but that is another story. Anyway, he saw us for visitation IF he didn`t have other things going on. We spent a month with him in. he summer when he used us to hide girlfriends from other girlfriends and we spent the other times alone while he dated. I mean, whole nights alone in his house as little kids. He never came to games, never let us see him when he didn`t feel like it, missed birthdays for dates ( literally called us to say he was sick on our 13th birthday because he promised to take us out, mom took us on what little she already had and he was thers on our reservations with his date.) My sisters and I are like demented dwarves....slutty dwarf, super nuerotic and panicky dwarf, and super angry dwarf( me.) We have issues out the yang. He has seen my daughter twice in her life for three minutes. Hecis a womanizing alcoholic who really taught me the evils of trusting a man. My sister, who actually thought he would care called him and he used this lack if card (??????? After ten years of not being ALLOWED to even call him because it makes his super paranoud wife-who should be, he is a cheater and not a good guy- angry when any female calls, including us. She is angry and crazy, but I thinj he made her that way. I do.Five years ago we showed uo with presents and he refused us because he was ` too busy` ,beer in hand WITH sweats on. Yeah.....he really needed that card. I am livid, sis is heart broken ( although it perplexes that she still expects so much from him and I do not understand that at all.) Wwyd?