The things no one tells you no.25:
Expectations of yourself.
Mumofsix` featured blog about things no one tells you.
`I thought I would, every now and then,
add a little bit of info that
took me by surprise with my first baby.`
My mood while writing this blog: Ok
I am going to make myself vulnerable in this blog and hopefully people can learn from my silliness.
Let me start at the very beginning after giving birth. I had been to a couple of births before my first birth and each time the Mum was able to get up, shower, and be mobile pretty quickly after the birth. This was my bench mark from what I had seen so I thought I would be the same. The thing was that I had a difficult first birth with bad tearing ( Just a reminder that I did not notice the tearing at the birth just during the healing stages) I had lost a lot of blood and then I expected to get up, shower and carry on as usual. The truth was that I tried to do this because I did not want to seem pathetic and complaining and I had seen others do it.
Here I am, a couple of hours after giving birth and it is suggested that I go shower. This sounded great to me, I got out of bed and felt like my insides were going to drop out. It was not painful but a very unusual sensation. I proceeded down the hall feeling rather dizzy. David came to help me. Part way through the shower I became dizzy and nearly passed out. It was a huge effort for me and not at all what I had expected. I was so greatful to get back to bed.
The next day the lunch was brought to the ward and I was told I needed to walk down and pick it up myself. What I should have done is ask for it to be delivered because I was finding walking rather hard but ,oh no, I pushed myself and waddled down the hall to get my lunch. It was a long hard walk and one I was very silly to make. I just felt I should be able to do this as everyone else seemed to be able to.
I really pushed myself for the next few days after I got home but it was a struggle. I was sore and physically tired but still I kept telling myself to keep going. The truth of the matter was that I had a uterine infection and ended up back in hospital for 3 days to be treated with I.V antibiotics. It is the closest I ever came to feeling like I was going to die. I woke one morning uncontrollably shaking and so David took me to the doctor and I was admitted to hospital immediately.
The point I want to make is that no two ladies or even your own births are the same. Do not push yourself to be like others you have seen, listen to your body and look after yourself. The only thing I can say to describe what I did was stupidity and perhaps pride.
With my other easy births, I have been able to get on with things straight away. I felt great straight away and it's how I expected I would be after my first.
If you have the personality type that really pushes yourself or you have high expectations, be ready to have time to relax. For your babies sake and your own, be sensible!!!!
4 Comments on Expectations of yourself.
mcrchica - Tuesday, 4 Jan Hi pregoteen 18, I had my first child at 16 and it really was a scary experience, my body changed to OMG proportions. My boyfriend at the time just didn't have the right mindset (immature) but I had my family around me and my mom made all the difference, little things like people telling you how beautiful you are really make all the difference. Your not going to be a horrible mom, you have to take everything one day at a time I know it sounds cliche and old fashion but it's true, stress is hard on you and your baby bean. Right now enjoy your body and what changes it's going through. Like I said one day at a time. I'm 35 years old, 5 days overdue with my 4th bean, scared out of my wits cause it's been so long since I had my last bean but I'll try my best and do what I can, that's all any of us can really do. I wish you the best always and being scared of the unknown is natural so don't be so hard on yourself.
Pregoteen18 - Sunday, 4 Jan I'm very young. 18 to be exact. I'm really scared about being a mom when I still so much need my own mom. I'm not so much scared about the after birth expectations of what I will b able to do. I'm more scared if I will be able to do anything right for my baby. I'm worried that my boyfriend won't understand the changes my body is going to go through. I feel as if I am gonna be a horrible mom and I'm so scared outta my mind about what's to come. I'm starting my second trimister now. I just don't know what to expect.
isabell21 - Sunday, 2 Nov When I had Shelby I had a 3 degree tear and couldn't even sit up until hours after her birth due to being dizzy. It was 24 hours later that I finally took a shower and man that was tough, I hardly had any energy and was still dizzy. My recovery has been long and tiring.
*HuntersMama* - Wednesday, 11 Jun Hey there hon! I had my handsome baby boy on May 31st. at 8:22am. He is perfect. Everything went well, labor was really long though (20 hours, and 4 hours of HARD pushing) they had to use a vaccume and give me an episeautime (I dont know how to spell that) but everything worked out. As soon as they handed him to me I forgot all about the pain. I will never forget that moment. It was the best day of my life. I already want to have more!! : ) I'm doing great too, I feel really good, im starting to feel like my old self again. Anyway, I just thought I'd say hi to ya. Oh by the way... I tried the castor Oil, and I had him the next day..so maybe it really does work?? Well, I hope everything is going good with you and your new baby on the way. Talk to you soon!! Take Care :) xoxo