I am pregnant > The things no one tells you:

The things no one tells you no.:

Mumofsix` featured blog about things no one tells you.

`I thought I would, every now and then,
add a little bit of info that
took me by surprise with my first baby.`

My mood while writing this blog:
Ok

I want to talk a bit about post natal depression. This is not something that I have personally ever had and as I am not an expert, this is only from my observation of others around me.

Most of us will have times of feeling overwhelmed during pregnancy and times of feeling down once baby has arrived. With tiredness that you have never felt before and the demand of a new born, things can be a little more difficult to manage. Usually, amongst feeling this way, we will still be able to smile and enjoy our baby but for some, things progress a bit further and depression sets in. This depression causes those who are experiencing it to be unable to enjoy their baby and life in general becomes too hard to cope with.

I am not here to give advice on post natal depression but to give some ideas on how to cope.

It is my observation that post natal depression is more common in the western culture where family networks are spread out and there is not much support.

I was visiting my Indian friend the other day after she had just given birth 5 days before. She was feeling weepy because she did not have her family around her this time as she is now living in New Zealand. If she had been living in India she would have gone home to her mother and had weeks of being cared for and pampered with massage, meals prepared and baby looked after. It was very foreign to be on her own and she was already feeling the tears flowing.

My personal view to help keep on top of things is to have a good support network around you. It may not keep the blues away entirely but it will help. If you do not have family around you then ask some friends to help out.

I have always made a point to make new mums a meal and when it was my turn, I ended up with 2 weeks of meals. You can't expect everyone to drop everything for you if you are not prepared to help out others. Start doing for others what you would find helpful. It could be a meal, cleaning, washing or looking after the older children. Be the instigator in putting a support network of friends together.

From observation, I see less postnatal depression in cultures that look after new Mums.

If you are struggling to find joy in your life and with your new baby, do seek help from friends and see your doctor. It can be a very sad and lonely place to be when you feel depressed and I realise not everyone has the support they need. I think it is an area that the west needs to be more aware of and we need to do more to look after our new Mums.

I am sure others who have been through or are going through depression, can leave some comments on how they coped and how others could have helped out.

3 Comments on

kelly-roo - Sunday, 9 Nov
if you keep your protein up, a good support system and sleep its much easier!!! the baby is kinda sucking you dry(literally) so eat healthier then you ever have.

youre.in.my.system.baby - Monday, 29 Sep
Thanks ofr this blog, I'm glad you wrote something after I asked. I think people also need to be reminded NOT to lie when they have their checks with midwife and health visitor. They WILL NOT judge you and think badly of you - they are there to help in every way possible, not to take your child away or catergorise you as a bad mother. Depression is hormonal - as is pregnancy, makes sense doesn't it when put that way? Don't suffer in silence and bottle it up though. I did that the first time around and things got out of hand pretty quickly. This time, I won't lie and if I feel down I'll say so straight away, there is NO shame in it.. There's also no point in lying either - it's detrimental to the innocent life you brought into this world and they deserve a happy healthy mummy, not a sad, lonely mummy. They are so in tune to how you are feeling also.

nayster01 - Thursday, 25 Sep
You are so right, I had my 6 week post partum check on Tuesday and everything is good apart from my sanity, so yesterday a friend came and got me and took me and my baby out for the day and i feel like a new person. Dont suffer alone, reach out xxxx