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Is your own Mom excited ??
Added: 87 days ago.
Added by: joyfulnoise
Section: Pregnancy.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


We are currently, very happily pregnant with our 4th child. It has been nearly 6 years since our last baby so we have NO baby gear at this point....no crib, no carseat, no stroller. I have just only started shopping for the new baby, and so far have a few clothes and that`s it. My mother, who has never visited while we were pregnant with our other children, came for a visit over the weekend. I thought that she may be coming to go shopping for the new baby or maybe maternity clothes, but she never suggested it. She knows that I am not having a baby shower, as my family & friends are so spread out over the country that it would be an imposition to others. Am I just too sensitive or would your feelings be a little hurt as well? If I was going to visit my daughter when she`s pregnent someday, it would be all about shopping for my new grandbaby and making her feel special. Am I way off base here? I did mention to her that I need to get shopping for some supplies, but she did not look even the least bit interested in helping me or going with just to look. :-(

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MelissaJoanne - 84 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Like someone else said, she might be very excited, but not showing it in a way that you expect. If she is a kind and loving grandmother to your other children, I'm sure that she'll be the same with this baby.

lady26 - 84 days ago Rating: 5 (1 votes) Maybe she waiting till after the baby is born

monica9 - 84 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Maybe you need to hint it to her. she might not have thought about it. If you have a good enough relationship with her, as her if she can help.

soontobemommyof2 - 86 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I dont think you are off base, I have a 6 1/2 yr old daughter and am now 19wks pregnant with my 2nd, and I have to start all over (well I do have her crib, but thats it) I would ask your mom if she wants to go with you, maybe she doesnt want to overstep? It is tough, because it would hurt my feelings, just be careful on your wordage, but invite her to join you, she may just be waiting for that, or she may be suprising you! Good luck and congrats!!

Mommyof2boys - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) My Mom passed away when my first son was 4mos old but she was so excited about everything and wanted to buy everything she would see. But my mother in law on the other hand could care less, she told me for my babyshower she wasn't going to go all out because she didn't see the point in it. Every Mom's different and its sad for the one's who can't be overwhelmed with joy of having a grandbaby.

Love~2008~ - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Well maybe she just doesn't have it, I would expect something at least though unless she is going to surprise you...???

ashleyandcaleb - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I dont think your too sensitive at all!

windchime - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) A couple of thoughts... maybe she's trying to respect your independence and knows you don't need help picking things out. Also, if you're not close enough with her to come right out and ask her "Hey, why don't you seem interested in doing baby-related things with me", then maybe you're just not close enough to be doing these things together. I know it hurts (I'm not close with my mom), but that may just be the reality of things and you can't expect the relationship to be more than what it is. Hopefully you will have a closer bond with your daughter.

amandapmills - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) why dont you mention that you're going shopping for the baby and that you would love it if she came with you to do a little shopping.... see if that works

amandapmills - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) why dont you mention that you're going shopping for the baby and that you would love it if she came with you to do a little shopping.... see if that works

mommy-at-home - 87 days ago Rating: 4 (1 votes) It sounds to me that you are corelating 'excitement' with 'a desire to spend money'. Honestly, I do not expect my mother or MIL to spend money on my kids and I don't think spending money is any indication of whether or not they love my kids. Your mother may be 'excited' but just may not show it in an obvious way. My mother shouts for joy and jumps when I announce a pregnancy. My MIL says 'Oh, that's nice. Congratulations.' They are both WONDERFUL grandmothers and both love the kids very much.

baby.bray - 87 days ago Rating: 4 (1 votes) my step-mum and mother-in-law are excited, my real mother I havent seen for many years but she knows about the pregnancy from my grandmother and she hasnt tried to make contact which is fine by me :-) my baby will have 2 great grannies anyway x I dont think you are being sensitive, they say that pregnancy is a time when you want to connect with your parents - you should try to talk to her about it x

caitlin h - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) My feelings would be hurt too! My mom was a little bit the same way, my baby was her 12th grandchild, and it was hard not to compare her reaction/visible excitement with my MIL's, since this was her first grandbaby. It has gotten better now that he is born, though, and I can see how excited my mom is to visit, hold him, etc. Maybe once he is born, or once the little one is born, she will get more excited!? I'm sorry I can't be more help, but I don't think that you are being hormonal or anything- very valid feelings! Congrats on your new little one! I am the fourth child (6.5 year age gap between me and the closest sibling), and I loved it! Spoiled rotten! (at least according to my sibs! :) )

RandiLee - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Yeah, my feelings would be hurt... but I'm sure she didn't intentionally upset you..you should try and talk to her about it. smile!* :)

Its-Chelle - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i agree to with some of the comments, i would be hurt by it, but then again she is trying to make an effort but isnt sure of herself either how to approach it, you mentioned she never came over to visit before until this pregnancy..if it were my mom, i would ask"hey are you interested in maybe going shopping with me?" or something..hope it gets better for ya!

lmo - 87 days ago Rating: 4 (1 votes) im sorry that she did that to you. that would make me upset as well i was lucky my mom was very excited and she would come home with all kinds of stuff for me and my daughter and she still does that 3 years later.

agonzales - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think it would make me feel alil bad. Maybe like one of the other ladies said its not a big deal to her anymore since you have 3 other kids. With my mom its the same way. I guess since she has so many grandkids its not news to her anymore. Shes happy but doesnt show it much like she did with the first grandkids.

mattie4 - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) honestly, it would hurt my feelings too. I would try talking to her about it, she may not have realized that she was hurting your feelings or have another explaination.

gr8scottswife - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I would be a little hurt, but she just may not have thought of it, yet. She may still do some shopping.

Baby3OnWay - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I would be a little hurt... I am on my third in just short of three years and my mom still gets ecited as though it were the first and always jumps in to ask if I need anything. Maybe she sees that you are OK with having children, she knows what you are doing... not trying to make excuses for her though as my feelings would be hurt either way... Lets wait it out a little more and see what happens and sees if she comes around. Maybe your friends will hold a baby shower for you or there will be a surprise one for you, best of luck and if I lived near you I would throw you one for sure as your last and this one are so far apart!

mommytobe29 - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I can understand why you would be sensitive to that... but you also gotta think where she is coming from. You've already had 3.. so it might not be such a big deal to her anymore. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. Good luck! :)

JessicaHedden - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) My feelings would be hurt. My mom was so excited about shopping for her grandbaby. I'm sorry that you don't have the chance to experience the feeling. Is your MIL around? My MIL loved to go shopping with me for baby stuff.

KittenAsACat - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Yes, I'd have to say my feelings would be hurt. That being said, she may not realize she's hurt your feelings. my parents are excited, this is their very first grandchild on the way.

mommy-of-3 - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I can understand your frustration, I'm on my 3rd baby and my mom has bought the baby an outfit and his first car seat but aside from that my mom barely spends any time being a grandma. She never comes by just to visit the kids, she never offers to just take them someplace for the day somewhere fun, she only spends money on them as though that is supposed to make up for her not being a grandma to them. I love my mom dearly but I already know after this baby is born that nothing is going to change and this poor little boy also won't have a grandma. My grandma, (their great-grandma) is the total opposite. She calls all the time asking about the kids, she loves spending time with them and offers to pick them up once in a while to take them to a movie or whatever. I don't have any daughters but if I did I would help her in every possible way, babies grow fast and before you know it they're adults and you want to be a part of those special times whether that means buying your grandbaby clothes or spending time with them and showing you care.

jessicadarling - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It sounds like that is just her personality. If she didn't care too much with the other pregnancies, she is showing the same thing now. I would be really upset if my mother was the same way. I just hope that she shows interest once the baby is here at least. Is she a good grandmother?

lizzie287 - 87 days ago Rating: 4 (1 votes) I would feel the same way, however have you mentioned to her that you don't have anything from your other children? Maybe she assumes that you have everything you need already and "extras" would just create clutter?

Christina1984 - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) my mom has no interest. she reacted as if i told her the sun was shining. not big news to her i guess, but she doesnt like kids. she wont even allow my daughter to call her anything but her name,not grandmom or mom mom

Melanie07 - 87 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I know the feeling of not having things for my 3rd baby. I thought I was done after my first two. There are 14 yrs between my last two. I had nothing. I would be a little hurt too. Have you asked her straight up. Say would you like to go shopping for baby things? Maybe she feels you are old enough and don't need her help. As for no baby shower, you could do an online baby shower.Have each person be online at the same time. Set up a private chat room. You can even have one with video if capable. Each person can post the pic of their gift. you can also play shower games in the chat room. It would be fun a different. With my first baby, My mom's side of the family threw me a baby shower where they were. They took pics of everything and then boxed up all the gifts and sent it to me. It was pretty neat. You can send out announcements when you find out what you are having. Send a copy of your ultrasound. Go ahead and register at places that also have things online like, Target, Walmart, and BabiesRUs. You will be surprised at what people will send. People love buying for baby things.

nich-vegas-mommy2be - 87 days ago Rating: 5 (1 votes) I am sorry! I kind of know how you feel. My mom has one other grandchild, a boy, and she was set on us having a girl. (we wanted a boy first) When we found out our baby was indeed a boy, we were so excited! My mom, however, was not particularly thrilled. I called to tell her the sex of the baby, and she was just like "oh. well, atleast you got what you wanted." I was so mad and hurt (this is our first baby!!), so I just got off the phone. She apologized the next day and offered up some half-hearted excuses, but really it's not something that easily rolls off your back! I wanted my mom to be excited for me too. She is excited now, I think, but it still sucks that her reaction was "oh." I would definitely want my children to feel special and to know that I am excited for every one of their future babies, no matter how many they have had already or what the sex is or any of that! A new baby is such a gift, and each one should be treated special