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partners
Added: 57 days ago.
Added by: keren field
Section: Pregnancy.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


hi im only 10 weeks and am so happy but cant help feeling that my partner is not so much dose anyone have tips that can help me get him more involed

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Mommyof2boys - 56 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) My husband didn't get really involved until I started showing, first ultrasound and when he heard the babies first heartbeat. He'll come around. Guys take more time to get use to it and it doesn't really kick in until later for them.

stephandisaac - 56 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It doesn't feel the same for most guys as it does us girls. My fiance really didn't start getting into it until we found out the sex. Even after that it was hard to get him motivated to get the nursery done and all that. He's a great daddy now though. Just be patient :)

gr8scottswife - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) My dh did not really seem happy at first. He is beginning to come around. Recently he puts his hand on my stomach and wiggles it. It took forever to get him to touch my stomach; it was like he was avoiding it. He went with me to the midwife the other day, and I think that also helped because he got to hear the heartbeat for the second time (as a reminder) and listen as I asked questions and was given answers. He probably never thought I had thoughts of such questions. At any rate, I'm sure it helped, and I believe he is going to fall in love with our baby as we get closer to labor.

jessicadarling - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think it is normal for men to not really be interested in the beginning. After all, you aren't showing and you can't feel the baby move, it isn't really "real" to him yet. My boyfriend never wanted to talk about the baby, or go through names or think about where we were moving to. He started to get better around week 19 when we had our ultrasound and then he got a little better once I started showing and then he got much better when he could feel the baby move. He still didn't want to contribute to the shopping or decorating of the nursery until my due date was a week away. Since then he has been super helpful and waits on both baby and me hand a foot. It is probably just a scary thought for your bf and hasn't sunk in yet. Wait until you have your belly. He will love it.

agonzales - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I agree with the ladies. My bf is just starting to really get involved or put an interest in my pregnancy. He was happy when we found out but he just didnt show it like I did. Hes not a bad guy.. I guess since he doesnt have the pregnancy feelings and all so he doesnt feel anything happening.

KristenB - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Everyone here says the same thing that I thought when I read your question. In the beginning, my husband was not very interested in the least. When I started making decisions about decorating the nursery, he got pissed off because I wasn't including him but I really didn't think that he cared one way or another. I was very surprised that he would want to decorate a room - he's usually not too interested in much except for sports. Then... he surprised me again with wanting to go with me to register! Now I'm almost at the end of the pregnancy and while he doesn't lovingly touch my stomach or talk to the baby, he is very concerned about how I'm feeling and whether things are progressing or not. I guess men are just visual creatures so until there is something tangible to see & touch & register for, I wouldn't expect too much.

professorpreggers - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I agree with the other ladies. It's totally normal that he not be as excited as you are right now. It's very early in the pregnancy, you probably don't look visibly pregnant yet and it's still an abstract concept to him. Once he feels the baby kick, he'll probably get more excited. My husband was very sweet and concerned about me but he didn't seem all that interested in the baby himself until later. To get him involved, I left a copy of the pregnancy bible in the bathroom which he began flipping through and I also started to mention what was happening at the various stages of development. He started to become interested in how the baby was growing and he eventually started pointing out interesting things he found in the book I left in the bathroom. I took him to all the ultrasound appointments and I eventually let him name the baby (from a list of my favorite names, haha). Don't worry, your partner will become more interested as the pregnancy progresses, it probably doesn't seem at all real to him yet. Have you heard the heartbeat yet or had a sonogram? That should help too. Best of luck.

BunInOven21 - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) hey, well your 10 weeks preog...my hubby honestly wasent super excited until he noticed the belly...thats when things get real...to the men they arent feeling anything...so they kinda dont feel like anything is happening...but once you start showing..and especially when the baby starts kicking he will be able to be more involved! dont worry, im sure this happens with alot of people. good luck with everything :)

sarahann - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It is very frustrating, disappointing and extremely upsetting, but as the others have said, it's normal. I expected my partner to be extra loving towards me and put his hand on my belly and ask questions like, 'How's the baby going? Is she kicking today?" etc. Unfortunately he never once asked about the baby, or my health or comfort or feelings. He never touched my belly, even though I used to try to encourage him. He never took any photos of me pregnant even though I told him I wanted photos. I would try and talk about baby things (not too much in case it annoyed him though) but he just didn't seem interested. It upset me, because I would see other men with their hands on their partners belly, etc. My own brother took photos of his wife every week when she was pregnant, he was so into it, and so carefull and loving towards her. So I guess I had high expectations. On the up side though, my partner came to every medical appointment and was the most amazing support during the birth. He is the best father to our baby and is just amazing with her. It is so lovely. So I suppose I don't have any tips, just keep in mind that he may not get more involved at all during your pregnancy but once your baby is born I'm sure it will be a different story. It is upsetting, but keep in mind it is probably nothing personal on his behalf. I wish you a safe and happy pregnancy.

athome - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) In my experience most men cant actually grasp the reality of the baby existing at this early stage. I mean they understand it in theory but they dont experience the symptoms that make it all the more real to us. My husband was hit hard when DD actually "arrived" the moment he saw he he just burst into tears , unusual for him, he said until he saw her it was hard for him to get his head around. Has your partner seen any ultrasound footage yet, he wouldnt have felt bub kick or anything yet and you wouldnt be showing much yet so it wont be "real" to him. Just give him time. We are expecting our third and my husband still doesn't seem that "into" everything yet. Its frustrating, I just try and share it with other mums who understand for the time being. He'll get there - eventually.

holly28 - 57 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I too had these concerns earlier on in my pregnancy. But, after talking to a lot of people (including other dads) I have come to the conclusion that this is perfectly normal. They say that a woman becomes a mother the second she finds out she is pregnant whereas a man doesn't become a dad until he sees/holds his child. My only tip is to NOT push the issue. He will come around on his own time. My b/f still isn't as involved as I would like but has definitely gotten better (and still is) as we get further and further along.