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everybody hates my birthplan
Added: 89 days ago.
Added by: jodiie
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


everyone is ok with the fact i only want danny (my boyfriend) in the room during labour..but ive said i dont want anybody in the room for atleast an hour after delivery to me, this is a very personal time shared with only me the baby and the dad.. but nobodys happy about it they said that everyone elts has waited just as long as i have wtf?!?! i dont think im being unreasonable at all i have a auntie that is completely babymad and has been at the birth of everyone in my famiyl nearlly. and pops her head round the door every5 mins to get a nosy ive told her i dont want this at all and ionly want me danny and the granparents at the hospital and that everyone elts is more then welcome to come and visit eather at hospital or ome the next day everyone has gone mad saying m being unreasonable including danny.. is it to much to ask? SERIOUSLY?

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sillymamaof3 - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i had the same situation! they actually came & asked the nurse to come ask me if it was ok if they came in. i was in labor & mad as hell, the nurse must have thought i was nuts lol. but seriously, people need to respect your wishes, even if they don’t like them!

tarasblessing - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Are u kidding? Honey this a very special time for you and your child's father. You don't have to let anyone in the room that you don't want until your ready. And anyone who doesn't understand that is being very selfish themselves. My plan is to do the same. My mom wants to be there because this will be her first grandbaby, but I've decided that I won't let her come until I'm ready because I know she'll jump into grandma mode and want to kiss the baby and tell me what I need to do. NO!

skittles0607 - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I dont think you are be unreasonable at all. They need to understand that you want time with the baby and daddy. If they dont like it they dont have to go at all. And also u may be tired and they need to give u time to get some energy for everyone coming to see you guys..

luckywhite - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) just keep it a secret that you are in labour and call them an hour later.. its your and your partners day.... if they dont like it they can lump it.. giving birth is not a spectator sport... bloody hell thats so intrusive!!!!!

kater - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) if i were you, i wouldn't tell anyone i was even in labor until after the bub was born, and i had had the first hours as bonding time. i think i would go mad, they sound very overbearing to me, do what feels right TO YOU, dont let anyone else dictate this very special time in your life

sibandtwins - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i think thats completely reasonable! in fact im going to do the same lol!!! x x x

EniChan - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) If thats what u really want then u should do it. its UR baby and not anyone elses. and them saying they have waited just as long as u is bull to me. if they dont want to accept ur wish then they are really being selfish.

Julianna - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Just tell the nutses that you are to have absolutley no visitors other than those you approve. You can let them know when you've lifted the restriction. They should be able to accommodate this request. Seriously, what makes people think that they can just show up for your childs birth and expect to be part of it? this is YOU child and YOUR time to make that first connection with your child after you've given birth. Danny needs to understand and honor your wishes. You're the mommy and you make the decisions for this child :)

NumberFive - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) omg what is wrong with that request who cares its ur special tme with hubby, sqrew them, i am not even letting grandaprent come to hospital...

KarenVG - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I am with you girl! I am having a scheduled c-section and planning to tell them it is the day after it really happens!!!!!! I think you can decide for them not to visit if you want, and if they don't like it, they cannot do anything. Just make sure the hospital will not let any of them as they might not be that great at looking at the plan once the baby is out. Hope you get your wishes, do not feel pressured to give in.

moms the word - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) That sounds very similar to my birth plan. I don't think it is unreasonable to want time for bonding with you and your husband with baby. My mother in law is going to go through the roof when I tell her what my plan is but I don't care! Post your birth plan on your hospital door for everyone to see and tell them all to kiss butt. Your baby, your body is what I would tell them. They will have plenty of time to come and see you and the baby after he/she is born. I think it is very important to have that alone time following birth. Who cares what everyone else thinks! No me that is for sure. Good luck and stick to your guns!

everythingX2 - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) im having twins. this is my first pregnancy. it will be me, daddy and my mum there. thats all. i have already told the rest of friends and family that i want the time to myself. dad is allowed in from 12pm til 9pm any day and visiting in uk is from 2-4pm or 7-8pm. i have also said that depending on when babies come along then i dont want people there for the first visiting time. ie if close to a visiting time then they are to wait until either the later time or the next day before the come to see us. they respect my desicion. my niece is 5 and she finds it unfair she cant get onto the ward but she is willing to wait - so why cant the adults? as u say 9 months is a long time to wait and everyone will agree that to a 5yr old this is more like 2 years to them to wait. if she can wait then why cant the adults? just try to be honest with them. my mum even said that she will elave once she knows everything ok and then will come back later with my 2 younger sisters who are 16 and 18. my dad works away and he just wants a phone call to say all is well but he not coming home til we are out of hospital. and he's the grandad and no an aunt! good luck to u x

blessedjoy - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) oh Boy, story of my life. Everyone is mad at me too. I don't even want visitors for the first Day!! I called the hospital and the RN told me that I was to bring a copy of my birthplan to hospital on check in. The nurses will honor my plan a best as possible, especially when it comes to visitors. All visitors must check in to nurses desk and my hubby will be informed of a visit via intercom and then he will go greet the guest. If they want to see the baby, they must go to nursery with my hubby. ALSO, even more anal of me, I refuse to allow guest to hold baby until 24 hours old. (why? my best friends guest had a cold and gave it to the child at 4 hours old. Baby was stuck in hospital with a flu-like cold for one month. I don't want that at all.) Good luck. This is your birth and you need to feel as comfortable as possible. To heck and back with the lot of them if they can't understand that. Don't feel guilty!!

amber0225 - 88 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I dont think youre being unreasonable at all. I personally dont want any of my family except those being in the room w/me even around me while I'm having contractions then I want to be able to breastfeed and spend time w/my child and hubby for an hour then family can visit us. I will allow someone to take baby out to show family but bring the baby right back. I believe this is a bonding experience for the family *family meaning-mother,father,baby* I totally agree w/you!

eastern-Canadian-Lady - 89 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Boy, it sounds like they are all being unreasonable!! I wouldn't want anybody else at the hospital, just the daddy. when I had my daughter, it was 11 pm. I was lucky, bc visiting hours closed at 8. no visitors until the next day, and at that, they don't allow ANY children except for siblings. (not even nieces or nephews) The first hour after delivery they are finishing all of the work from the delivery (like cleaning, weighing, needles, sutures for the mother) then there is feeding time. Of course it will take about 40 minutes for all of that anyway. daddy will want time to hold the baby, won't he?? then you will want to go get cleaned up so an hour is not unreasonable at all. I wouldn't want visitors even a few hours after, bc labour makes you tired. You'll want and need your sleep. I guess I was thinking of how I would feel, but I would tell everybody that after the first hour, then can see you both for an hour, then you need to sleep. If they are that interested in seeing you and the baby, they will come back the next day, or see you at home. Good luck.

Mommy2twogreatkids - 89 days ago Rating: 5 (1 votes) It is what ever you want...but those first few hours right after the birth are so special for EVERYONE. You will be holding him and having all the time in the world with him the rest of his life and childhood. I honestly would suggest letting them in for a few minutes and then asking them to come the next day! Also depending on where you have your baby. You get to hold them while they clean you up and mend your body. ( after testing his apgar and blanketing him) Then he will have to go to the nursery for weight, temp, bathing, and to warm up as they have difficulty keeping their temp. So you may be the only ones there for the first hour or two anyhow it would not be that bad!

daniandbebe08 - 89 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I had a rough labour with my first that ended up being an emergancy C-section. but the time I recovered enough to go to my room it was PACKED FULL of people and its not what I wanted. This time I have strictly told everyone that when I have the baby I want to be alone with my Hubby and new baby and my friend that will be taking care of my son the night before (only because she has my son) there for the first day and mostly the whole time I am there unless I call them. DHs family wont like it but I had such a BAD experience with it before that It put me in hell for the 5 days I was in the hospital (I literally had no sleep cause they would hog the baby and visit me when it was babies only sleeping time and at night he was awake the whole night till 5am and only got 2 hours rest till people showed up again)

kelly.. - 89 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i totally agree with u,at the end of the day its your baby & u av the rite to decide who should be there,ask them to respect your dec. you'll av carried the baby for all this time & u deserve to spend time with your baby 1st. hope things work out.good luck

captshelley - 89 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I see both sides. Maybe you could compromise and let people come several hours after the birth. Ultimetly, it's up to you but try to put yourself in there shoes as well. You and Danny will have your time together with the baby but I do understand the first few hours. My baby is now almost 6 months old and the majority of the people that came to the hospital I haven't seen since then.

mamimichi - 89 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I completely understand..you are not being unreasonable at all. When I had my first child..all I remember was being wheeled into my recovery room and next thing I know..people started dropping by every hour..actually the first hour after I gave birth. I didnt even get a chance to shower yet or take it in that I just gave birth. It was like a party in my room!! I didnt mind at first because it was my first delivery and all. But I realize a daddy and mommy and baby need to bond in private moments.Then the rest of the visitors can drop by.

jodiie - 89 days ago im absolutely fine with people visiting a couple of hours after i only asked for one hour to myself with my boyfriend but everyone has thrown their dummy out the pram about it i cant believe how selfish their being and they'd want to hold and cuddle the baby how will i be able to be in a good mood with anyone if i only get 5 minutes of holding her before shes passed around

xidja - 89 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I do not think its being unreasonable at all. This is something that is completely up to you. I have read that it is a good idea to keep visitors to a minimum right after delivery because you are recooperating and need the time with the baby, as you said. Would you be willing to let people visit a few hours after delivery? Of course everyone is going to be very happy and anxious to see your baby but you have every right to spend the time right after delivery exclusively with your baby. As soon as the visitors come they will want to hold the baby and take the time away from you. I too, have been thinking about this and I really don't want a mad rush in my room right after delivery. I would try to explain you are not trying to be unreasonable you just really want the time to bond with baby and get re-energized a little before all the visiting.