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last name issues
Added: 50 days ago.
Added by: becky-135
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


so the daddy of my baby and I don`t get along very well. im 17 and he`s 20. i am due any day now and so far he has bought nothing for the baby. he lives like an hour away. because i told him i didn`t want to see him often, he hasn`t been here for much of the pregnancy... i decided a while ago that i want the baby to have my last name. i agreed to let him choose his middle name, and i`m pretty much in charge of the first. i know it`s kind of selfish to want him to have only my last name (no hyphens or anything) but i just don`t feel obligated to give him the dad`s name. i`d love to have anyone`s input on this.

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laura14 - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) im not with my daughters father anymore he wasnt 'there' during pregnancy either but i still gave her his name, as i felt we both concieved her his name should be there somewhere....but thats just me. if he wanted to be involved that was upto him.

Mrs.M.H. - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Good for you, I say don't feel bad at all. He would have to sign the papers to have his name in there anyway. Just keep in mind that he can't be held responsible for any finacial help later on unless he decides to let you change things. I gave my daughter her fathers name and I had to go to court and get the whole custidy thing figured out and and it sucks specially when he gets rights over everything and yet has nothing to do with her and and I can't even say that I know where the guy is living right now. I find it very frustrating. Good luck and really he don't OWE him anything.

corrin - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i went through the same thing...my son has my last name...no hypen...bd was not involved with the pregnancy...and my lawyer told me he had no rights to the last name leglly...do what you feel is best...if its your name than so be it..bd can take u 2 court but no judge will change it just because the bd wants it changed!! good luck

RobinG - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I've always felt the baby should have either both names hyphened or the dads, never been a supporter of just the moms. The ultimate goal is for him to be a good dad to his child, even if you two are not together and acknowleding him as the dad in his/her name is the first place to start ~ unless he relinqishes his parental rights or is found unfit as a parent via a judge the baby is still both of yours and BD name should be a part if his/her name~ but thats just me ~

indiegurl - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Don't do it! You are to young and called him the daddy of the baby!! lol I am assuming by this you two are not together? All in all I would not. As for my opinion.. I had twins at 16 and they have my last name. The father and I lasted seven years so who's to say it would work out. People fall out of love sometimes. This time around I am 25 and with a great man. I have no intent of marriage in my future. And think it would be odd to have a little girl who's two older brothers have a different last name. I love my rare last name and the fact that my dad just passed away a couple months ago has made my mind up that this baby will have my last name. And b/f has no problem with this :D :D

toonerboo - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) You should not feel obligated to give your child his last name. The only obligation you have is to be healthy and deliver a healthy baby. My 2 older kids have my last name, I wasnt married and I raised them by myself. I had no problem obtaining child support(their dads are both in different states). Heaven has a great answer!

riknlee - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I have given this advice to a couple of people asking the same thing. When I had my first baby I was not married to the father but I gave her his last name, then married him when I was preg with no 2, then I had a third baby. All the kids have his last name. Which was fine until we broke up and a couple of years later remarried - we wanted to change the girls' names but he wont respond to our request as he doesnt see the girls - his choice. For pure control issues, give the child your last name. I stupidly thought that them having his last name would give him more pride and make him want them forever but it hasnt made any difference at all.

Heaven - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i'm not giving my daughter his last name. she is my daughter and i'm the one pregnant. we arent married so there is no need. if he wants to change her last name then he has to change my last name too. my boyfriend wants to have her first name but the names he picks are so ugly so i might have the first and last name too

TMDB101 - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Well me and my babys dad are together still but not married because im 16 and hes 18, but i am also giving my baby my last name. I told my boyfriend that when ever [ if we ever ] get married then we can switch our babys last name. So honestly i think its completely fair that your baby is having your last name. wouldnt make sense if it was any other way expecially if you guys are not together.

HaleyD - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I would do the same thing. Use your last name...you are the one who will be doing all the work. He was more or less a sperm donor.

kbushby - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) trust me!!! dont give him the last name of his dad.... if you do he can take him whenever he wants. i have a friend who was with the dad when she gave birth and things didnt work out and she left him and now regrets giving him the last name of his dad cuz it gives him so many rights. and you should right away go get full custody of the baby with visitation times for dad, cuz once again, he can come and take baby whenever he wants and if you call the police and say he wont give me my baby back they will ask if you have full custody or split, and if you dont have full then he has the right to take your child for as long as he wants. and unfortunatly a lot of men use their children to get back at their exes.. which is what my best friend is going through. the father doesnt think of his sons well being he just does things to get back at my friend by using his son against him.

keeley - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) ur not obligated to give ur child his last name if hes not involved my cousin had the exact same situation and she gave him her last name the dad was mad but since the baby was born he saw him TWICE and hes turing a yr old nect weekend.. the baby had surgery and he couldnt show up so she said thank God she didnt put his name on it bc look how involved he is and she is doing PERFECT by herself family will help u so u wont be completly alone but it would be harder for you to want him to be involved and him not want to bc he wasnt from the begining he may reconsider when the baby is born BUT u have the last say so and if hes not doing any good then he shouldnt be around and my cousin said she doesnt feel bad for him she feels bad for her son bc hes going to wonder in the yrs to come wheres my daddy but the mother can easily play the mother and father role thats what makes the mother an amazing mother... my mom had to play both roles and we turned out great!! best of luck hun and God has a weird way of always working things out for the best we may not be able to see his reasoning or his ways but it willll all work out

moms the word - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It is your decision in the end. Your baby, your choice. Just make sure you list him as the father on the birth certificate so that you can go after him for child support since it sounds like you may have to explore that avenue. I know with my sister's last baby, she was told at the hospital that she could not use her last name if she named a father on the birth certificate and also that she could not sue for support without listing him as the father (that is what she told us). Each state is different so I would check to be sure. I know you don't want your baby to have his name but you need to be sure and protect yourself and your baby's financial needs. If you don't care to have any of his money or any involvement from him at all, even if he changes his mind, then give the baby your last name and have a happy life. Good luck and trust your instincts.

becky-135 - 50 days ago thanks so much for re-enforcing exactly what i was telling myself :)

Spike - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) if the father doesnt intend on being involved or you just dont want him to be id give the baby your last name. The fathers name will still be on the birth cetificate(under the fathes section). It sounds to me but that you will be doing this alone, so if you dont want to include him and it makes you happy to give the child your last name then do so!

sarahann - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) If you are no longer in a relationship with the father, or if you don't think it will last, I would definately give your baby your last name. As a mother, I would hate to have a different last name to my child. I'm not sure what it's like where you live, but in Australia if the father is listed on the birth certificate and just say the baby has his surname, if you chose to get married to someone else in the future or wish to change your baby's name/surname for any reason, you have to get permission from the father to do so. If you give your baby his last name, you will probably end up regretting it and being upset for a long time. Do what's right for you and bubs, it's not selfish, he is your baby and no doubt you will have all the responsibilty of him when he is born. Best of luck..

agonzales - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I also agree with you. I dont think you are being selfish at all. He hasnt even been around or bought anything like you said. I say give the baby your last name. I had the same problem with my first daughter and I regret giving her his name. Hes not even in her life now. Good luck!

kt08dec88 - 50 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I totally agree with you...it is your choice...just imagine if you did give the baby the daddys name and he decided to never see his child... You would be haunted by it everytime you see your childs name. If you are the only one in the picture right now i would give the baby your name... and later down the road if you want to change it... i think it costs like 600 to it