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Breastfeeding Depression?
Added: 96 days ago.
Added by: Jadedpoet
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


This may sound like an unusual question but the do the baby blues include being really upset about not being able to breast feed. I ask because for some reason it really hurts and bothers me, I know I only gave it a 10 days effort but it was a hard one around the clock and I could not take my little girl crying constantly out of hunger and never EVER going to sleep unless she was filled. My colostrum just didn`t seem to be enough but I also didn`t have an appetite after I delivered I could not eat for days I guess that made it worse as well. I went until my 10th day still trying here and there and pumping but my letdown is no longer occuring I considered going hardcore and pumping until my supply was up but I realized I still can`t eat and i`m just making myself more sick with frustration and worry honestly. Has anyone else went through the frustration, anguish, pain or even sadness of not having to breastfeed. Please don`t give me the whole well you must keep trying, pump exclusively, give no bottles, your not a real mother unless you breastfeed line, I`ve heard them all and they just depress and tick off a person who really did try. I know I sound crazy haha but if you can relate post. :-) Also I haven`t been upset over much after delivering but this so i`m not sure if this is even considered the baby blues or just a case of my hormones making me overly emotional.

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my2beautifulgirls - 95 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I know exactly how you are feeling! I experienced the same thing with my first daughter. Unlike you i only got through 4 days and it was like she was staving and wouldn't settle. I was so determined to bf her and was so emotionally upset that i felt i had failed her, our family and myself. My partner was bf and had the same hope for his children. What made it worse was when i had made the decision to put her on formula and jeremy had to tell my midwife. She made me feel so small and useless because i didn't want to bf anymore. It was also hard when friends and family would come to visit and ask "how's the bf going?". It would make me cry! When i fed her with the bottle, she was so content and slept so well. I felt so guilty, but i was glad to see that she was actually getting milk into her and i could see how much. I actually felt alot better over time too. Vanessa is now almost 6 and doing so well. She is very smart and doing very well in school. When i had my second, i went through the same kinda thing. Not as intense. I bf her for the first 4 days aswell. I felt dissapointed i couldn't bf her aswell and i put her on the bottle, but she is 2 now and very smart. My midwife told me " A happy mum, and a happy baby!" which i believe is so true. I think you have done a terrific job! I don't think your depressed, but just dissapointed. You have such a lucky little girl as she has a mother that really cares for her and that only wants the best. You are doing that no matter whether she is bf of bottle fed. There is soooo much about bf a baby, but they dont prepare you if you cant. Thats why we end up so dissapointed. I wish you all the best of luck! Congratulatons... and WELL DONE!!!

CassandraLee - 95 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I agree with Kater, You did the best you could. I wanted to breast feed my son my entire pregnancy. I got a pump and everything. Upon leaving the hospital the midwife talked to me about my depression. I had been clinically depressed for years and took anti depressants through the first 2 trimesters of my pregnancy. The doctor thought I needed to be back on the anti depressants because I was emotional and sad. But she told me that if I were on anti-depressants I couldnt breast feed. I figured my baby would be better off with formula and a sane mother then breastfed by a mother with serious emotional problems. I had the worst guilt for weeks. I felt so bad about it that at times I would lie to people and say that I was breast feeding so I could avoid rude comments. Everytime I fed my son I felt like I was a failure for not giving him breast milk. I would read all this articles about how Breast is Best. Sometimes we just cant. And its not for a lack of trying. I know how it feels to feel like you have let your baby down, like you cant even provide for him/her what is best. You HAVE to cut yourself some slack. My son is now 9 months old and he has NEVER had any adverse affects because of being formula fed. I think its fantastic for mothers who are able to breast feed their babies. But I dont think it shows a lack of love for your child if you arent able to breast feed. Some things I would suggest are this: when bottle feeding baby hold him/her as you would if you were breast feeding and look them in the eyes as you feed. Also, do it skin to skin. It's a great way to still bond with baby like you would if you were breastfeeding. I read that once and always stuck by it. Your baby wont be aware of what youre feeding them, but HOW your feeding them. If youre feeding them with love and affection it doesnt matter that its formula.

kater - 95 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i am very pro breastfeeding, but in this situation, you need to give yourself a break. you did try, and really hard too! i know how difficult feeing your baby is, and we unfortunatly live in a world where most people have very black and white opinions on other peoples buisness. your baby now has a full tummy, thanks to you. anyway, its formula, not poison...

mariettap - 95 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I'm a big supporter of breast feeding. But not about to go picketing over it! I think what you're experiencing is the first of many many episodes of maternal guilt. It comes up when we're torn between two options and need to make the tough choice because we believe it to be the best one for our families in a given instance. You've gotten sound advice here--I'm so pleased that you posted your concern. Something similar happened to a good friend of mine just recently. I told her that my only regret for her is that she's bound to encounter some people who will tsk-tsk her because they just can't believe that she _really_ gave it her best. Well, she really did, and so did you. Indeed your best has been good enough, at that. Keep on doing what works best for _your_ family. That's what motherhood is. My best to you.

dawnispregz - 95 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) First of all congratulations on your baby,and the fact that you have tried to breast feed. I think its totally normal that you are wanting to breastfeed and feel dpwnhearted about not being able to do it, I KNOW,for a fact that i will be as upset as you if i am not able to breastfeed when my little one appears. Please dont feel guilty about it, you should be proud that your daughter is putting on weight and healthy.You also gave her the best stuff from you for the first 10 days and some women choose to just give the babies that and then switch. You are a great mum how wants the best for her baby,and if bottle works best for your baby then thats fine. Stop stressing over it,my mum couldnt breast feed any of her 4 and we are fine and healthy.also, eat something!Youll need your energy now more than ever. When i went off my food in this pregnancy the only thing that i could eat was toast and porridge,so try that for starters. Good luck with the rest of motherhood x x x

jaydsmom - 96 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) On the first day after my daughter was born, my milk supply had not come in yet, and my daughter was starving. She dropped down to only 5 lbs (she was 6.5 when she was born). The nurses at the hopital gave her formula because she was so hungry. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with giving a baby formula when he/she is hungry. I would challenge anyone to say that a starving baby that is crying all the time (but getting the breast) is better than a happy, well fed formula fed baby. Don't feel bad. You tried, and you made a choice for the well-being of your baby. As far as I am concerned you are a GOOD mother for that choice.

UKMama - 96 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) From all the effort and sincerity you put in to breastfeeding your daughter it's perfectly reasonable you will feel depressed. You knew breast is best and went for it! But, you know, you can have a clear conscience (it sounds like your disappointment is tinged with guilty feelings). You gave your baby the very best of your milk. All that first stuff. Plus, you put up a true fight to carry on nursing indefinitely. Yes, breast is best but bottle doesn't mean bad, cruel, selfish & neglectful. You know what personal struggle you had to nurse. You switching to bottlefeeding makes perfect sense. Your baby needed a more reliable supply of milk and you needed to take care of yourself too, emotionally and physically. YOu did the right and best thing for you both I'm sure. The next thing you can do for you both is to be the happiest mother you can be. Don't look back.

mylittleone - 96 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It IS hard, sometimes it sucks, I have had lingering mastitis for four weeks out of six. Do what is best for you and your baby and don't be sorry for it!

eastern-Canadian-Lady - 96 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It's very easy for a woman to get feeling (more than) a little blue. Her life has changed. She is a mother, with more responsibility, no time to herself, and feels a lot of pressure. When you feel that way, it's easy to get down, and many times that means not eating. (in some cases it becomes the opposite) When you aren't eating or sleeping well it's harder to have patience with things, especially things that are difficult for first time mothers, like nursing is. It's also difficult to get out of the rut. It's a cycle. (not eating = tired, tired = not wanting to cook, not cooking = not eating. and the cycle continues) Is there somebody that could come to your place and prepare a meal for you? Once you eat you may feel a little bit better, and sleep better. I want to encourage you to continue to try to nurse, but it's really hard, so if you just can't do it anymore then the doc can advise you on which formula is best. Good luck, and enjoy your little girl. Sometimes singing can REALLY calm them down when they are crying. take care