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How to Break it to My Mom?
Added: 1220 days ago.
Added by: AChance2Dream
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


I am not sure how to break it to my mom that I don`t want anyone in the delievery room but my hubby?! I just believe this is an experience that the hubby and I should share together and plus I don`t want to feel like a circus act. I was planning on just calling her when I knew I was about to push because she lives about an hour away from the hospital so she wouldn`t make it there in time but now she is insisting that I call her as soon as I am on my way to the hospital. She keeps saying that she was there for all her grandshildrens births (which she was not) so I feel SO bad not wanting her there but I really have in my mind just the hubby and me. Plus the doctor was thinking about inducing me this last Friday and when I told her of course she jumped in her car and even went and picked up my sister!! and like I said before, just because my va jaja is going to stretch to amazing widths doesn`t make me the entertainment for everyone! I have mentioned before I just want it to be the hubby and me and it doesn`t seem to faze her...So what would you do?

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AChance2Dream - 1218 days ago You ladies are too funny...I am going to do the pussy thing (sorry mind the language) and just tell her they only allow one person then tell the nurses I don't want anyone else in...

kater - 1218 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) tell her your doc/hospital wont allow it. new rule.

dawnispregz - 1219 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Just tell her, ur not obligated to have her there, my mil and mum wanted to be there and said no, i wanted a personal experience with steve, i didnt get it as my mum visited me and stayed....but when she was there i didnt care, in fact in the end i needed her and im glad she was there. But i know exactly what you mean,so just tell her and tell the docs too, - they'll respect your wishes and tell her that ur ok and update her regularly.

Bienks - 1219 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) dont let her intimidate you they won't let her in the room without your permission tel her that u only want you and hubby and if she arrives in time don't worry as I said they won't let her in and she can't blame u u told her that you only want you and hubby, she'll get over it the first time she holds her grandson

RobinG - 1219 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Personally the best way to avoid it is to just tell her you prefer just the two of you or dont even tell her when you go into labor if you feel you cant and call her after you've delivered. You are not obligated to let her know you are in L&D ~ you can call her after :)

lizzie287 - 1219 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) You may have to be harsh and say LISTEN! This if for US and us alone. You're right, it's a VERY personal time, a very special time, and you shouldn't have to feel guilty about wanting it to be just the 2 of you. Tell your mom you love her dearly, and she can wait in the waiting room if it means that much to her, but for the first hour or 2 after Paxton's birth, it's going to be you and hubby and no one else. You need to bond, and the baby needs to get to know YOU, not your mom, I'm sorry to say.

antsmom - 1219 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I felt the same way as you. When I went into labor with my son, we called nobody. It worked out really well because labor went slowly while at the hospital and since it was just hubby and I we were able to take naps and just rest so that I had some energy when it came time to push. My husband called everyone once the baby arrived. It took them about an hour to get up to the hospital which gave my husband and I some important time alone with our little one.

juels101 - 1219 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Tell her you would love her there so she can some in after you've given birth, and that you AND your husband want it just the two of you. She should be understanding, it is your body and your baby. Was the same with us, and it seemed easier with them knowing we both wanted it just us.

amanda72385 - 1219 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Wow, my dr personally told me when i was pregnant with my son that the only person allowed in the room was to be the father since its such a special time, you can always tell your family that only one person is allowed in the delivery room with you and thats to be the father of your child, if they try to argue say it is dr's orders.lol....besides that they can see you after wards when you've had some rest and cleaned up and are ready for people to be there. if they really truly love you and care about you and your husband they'll understand

Harpchick - 1220 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) My MIL was like this, too, to the point where hospital security had to not only ban her from the delivery room but remove the phone from my recovery room afterward! I was very frank, saying that 1) I was not going to be at my personal best and I didn't want (hostile) witnesses who would laugh about it on the phone afterwards with other people. 2) I love my husband more than anyone in the world, and I was pretty sure that I would be calling him awful names while in labor; I can't imagine what I would say to her (since I loathed her) and I didn't want her holding it against me later. 3) I don't think anyone who you wouldn't show your crotch to on a good day should see it on a bad one like that. As it turns out, I had a c-section, and while I had my mother come in, I didn't let the MIL join us, LOL. When challenged about that afterwards, I pointed out that 1) My mom loves me and would never laugh, 2) I had called her every name in the book over the years and it never wrecked our relationship, and 3) presumably during her own parenting experience she had already seen my crotch a good many times over the years and so this wouldn't be a first. My MIL had no comebacks to this and just shut up.

MelissaLMoore - 1220 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Since I just wanted it to be me and my husband, I explained to my doctors and nurses that I DID NOT want anyone else in the room. After I explained what I was up against, they gladly took care of it for me. They even had to call security because my MIL would not leave the door. Oh, and my MIL had already set up a video camera right in front of the stir-ups and planned on having my husband's family over for a reunion to watch my birth. Needless to say, I had to turned off and thrown in a corner.

kristalsfirst - 1220 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I dont know if i believe that more people makes labor longer... everyone is different tho. For me, they stopped my epidural so it was natural and painful as all hell and nothing in the world would have distracted me, i didnt even know my name throughout the pushing. I was also terrified of pooping by accident and at the time i wouldnt have cared if i pooped 50 times lol

CassandraLee - 1220 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) You can make the nurses the bad guys. Theres nothing wrong with that and it probably wouldnt be the first time they had to do that. I dont know about it really adding an hour to your labor, but it will definitly affect it. Your labor can slow down if you are unnecessarily stressed. If having her there really freaks you out at the time it could cause you to labor for hours with no delivery and end up with a c-section. I would tell her as you told us: You believe it is an experience that you and your husband should share together and not have it a circus act. You arent comfortable with anyone else being there. You prefer it to be a more private, intimate experience between only your partner and the necessary hospital staff. If she doesnt understand or insists then I would totally talk to the staff when you arrive at the hospital. Dont cave in! It could make the experience less enjoyable if you do!

earthmomma - 1220 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) in my hypnobirthing book im reading, it says for every extra person in the delivery room besides you and hubby, add an extra hour onto labor. this isnt true for everyone im sure, but it is something to think about. you could mention this to her. tell her you need to relax as much as possible and focus on just yourself and baby. that you appreciate her wanting to be there for you, but you would also appreciate her understanding whats best for you and your baby. and what makes you feel the best, is what is going to work the best for you. im sure she will be upset, but it is your baby, your body, and your expierence, NOT HERS! she will get over it as soon as she sees the baby im sure.

MelissaJoanne - 1220 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Tell her in advance (don't just mention - make her listen) that you're not planning to have anyone, including her, in the delivery room other than you, your husband, and medical professionals. Then, don't tell her when you go into labor. She sounds like the type that would just show up, even when uninvited. It is not her place to insist on when you tell her, or when she gets to be there. Don't feel bad about it, do what is best for you to get through your childbirth.

AChance2Dream - 1220 days ago I was thinking about telling the nurses that when it comes time EVERYONE needs to be out (excpet the hubby of course) and making them be the bad guys...hehe

moms the word - 1220 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Just tell her when you call her to let her know that you are in labor that you don't want anyone in the room except for your husband because you want to share this experience with him only. Let her know that after the baby is born you'll be more than happy to allow her to come in and see the baby. She is an adult and she will get over it. It is your personal experience and you should have it the way you want it. You could also write up a birthing plan and post a copy of it at the nurses station and on your room door to let everyone know exactly what you want. That is what I am doing to keep my pushy mother in law out of the delivery room and out of my hospital room until I am ready for her to be there.