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Was I being really mean when I said I didn`t want a babyshower?
Added: 1097 days ago.
Added by: June1st2009
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


About a month ago I told my sisters that I did not want a baby shower, and one of them got really offended. I know that I seemed very ungreatful and like a b****, but I was just so upset. I come from a big family with lots of gossip and issues and they just get to me sometimes. Last fall my sister who lives in West Virginia asked me if she can celebrate her daughter`s b`day party at my house since I have a large house and large yard. At the time my house was going through a big renovation project and things in my house were chaotic. I expressed this to her and told her that I don`t think it would be such a great idea with the state of the house. She then conviced me and said that we will set up outside and have most of the activities in the yard, and she also said that it will be only like 15 - 20 of us (just family). I then said ok. The day of the party came and all of a sudden I had about 50 people in my house ( and most of these people I didn`t even know who they were). She didn`t warn my about these strangers coming, they were just showing up, all friends of hers. And then the party ended up being completely inside of the house. I was upset and I said that I will never fall for a sucker again. Then for thanksgiving I was asked again to have it at my house, since my sisters said that my parents live near me and it would be convenient. With the renovations of my house still not complete but getting bettter, I said `ok, what the heck, it is thanksgiving after all`. And of course they same thing happens with all these strangers that I`ve never seen before lounging in my house till the wee hours of the night. By the way, it is always that way. My family always expects to do all gatherings at my house while I spend a fortune to prepare a feast with deserts and all for the children and no one ever contributes, they just show up. That`s when my sisters started talking about doing a babyshower for me. I was so upset about what had happened that I said them: `No, I don`t want a baby shower. I don`t want to be ungreatful, but everything with our family is always such a hassle that I`d rather save you the trouble and I will be ok without one`. Well this rubbed my sister the wrong way and she is still very offended by it. I know that my sisters were trying to be nice, but I just can`t take it anymore with them. Was I being really mean or do you think I had a reason for expressing my self that way?

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Starka2004 - 1096 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I don't think it was mean of you at all. With the way past celebrations have gone I don't blame you for not wanting to go down that road again. Baby showers are typically no stress on the mom no matter where it's held, but if you think it's too much of a possibility that you'll be doing most of the work I say stick with your answer. A baby shower is about you and if you don't want one, then that is your choice. I think your sisters should respect your desire to not have one for whatever reason that you don't want one, and find another way to reach out to you during your pregnancy. If it eases your concsious you can tell them why you don't want to have one, but unless they come up with definite plans of having the baby shower somewhere else without you doing any of the work then I would stick with your answer and hope they get over it.

dawnispregz - 1097 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) it wasnt offensive at all, but you do need to nip it in the bud and tell her why you have said this. Why just because you have the bigger house and yard should you have to have the celebrations (even childrens bday parties for children that arent urs??!!!!)at your house, its ridiculous and frankly quite selfish of your family to keep asking you and putting you under the pressure. It bulls***, explain to her how you feel about the bday party. You only took on the day at your house because she said no more than 20 and outside, yet 50 turned up and was inside. And then you do thanksgiving with ppl in your house that you dont know and you are left with the mess. This time you dont want that. But as compromise why dont you and your sis etc etc go for a meal? and then after the meal you can part ways and you come home to a clean house and ppl free. !

1stimemum2be - 1097 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) while it may have been a little on the offensive side i would have to totally understand where you are coming from. if your sisters are really into throwing you a party just let them know that you are ok with that as long as its not at ur place.this day is suppose to be all about you so the stress of having it at your place is NOT gonna be in your favor.just let them know that its not an option

jessicadarling - 1097 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I say make them pamper you! As long as they don't expect you to host or throw or plan or pay for your own shower then you should do it. Sounds to me like you are always thinking of others and perhaps it is time to let them pamper you a little. I understand the drama though. Sometimes it is more worth it to just not do anything at all. I have a very similar family.

Julianna - 1097 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think you could let them have a shower, but let them know that under no circumstances will it be at your house. You need to stand up for yourself & let them know they are disrespecting your home that YOU have worked so hard for. Maybe not at the same time as you discuss the shower, but maybe when the next holiday rolls around & they want to celebrate at your house. Just tell them "That is not an option this time. We need to have it somewhere else" and don't give in. I think they probably really want to celebrate the upcoming birth of your child with you. Suggest someone else's house or renting a room in a church or local community center or something of that sort. Good luck!

amber325 - 1097 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I mean your sister was being nice, She prolly wants to make it up to you! Baby shower's are great you get TONS of things. I think it is ungrateful of you to say no to spite them...in the end you are also hurting yourself. This is my opinion