Questions and answers

Compare this section with Yahoo Answers and Google Answers. Questions are all related to becoming pregnant, pregnancy, birth and babies.
Go to the Questions and answers index

Only child
Added: 1079 days ago.
Added by: nevertooyoung19
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


Is it selfish or mean to only have one child? I always wanted 2 but now with this pregnancy being so difficult i dont hink i wan another. Plus I recently babysat my friends 2 children ( i had atched them both before but never at the same time.) and I realized that going from 1 kid to 2 is not just twise as hard... its 3 time harder. but i am concerned that it would be selfish of me to stop at just one child.

---

bebe77 - 1078 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Like everything else, it's totally your decision. One thing I've noticed about single children who grow up to be adults - they often tend to be selfish, have trouble in marital relationships, etc. Of course, this is not universal or a gurantee, just a trend both my husband and I have noticed with friends and co-workers who are only children. Sometimes, people are surprised to find that having another child actually makes it easier, especially if the first child is a little older and can help out. They tend to entertain each other.

RobinG - 1078 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Having two is only harder if you have two close in age ~ I say dont make your decision now ~ let time decide for you :) My 2nd was born when my first was 4.5 and it was AWESOME! Its not selfish but why feel you need to make that decision now? Live life and see what happens and how you feel later :) I thought I was done with 2 and had my 3rd at 40. My kids are 13, 8 and 16 months and it is awesome! As a daycare provider for 14 years the only problems I see commonly with single children is they have a harder time sharing so if you opt for one it is important they be around other kids often. Plus a 2nd often keeps the first one busy so you have a break :) you have a lifetime to decide so I'd just go with the flow ~

last.one.for.me - 1078 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I don't think it's selfish at all - it's complete personal choice. However, don't do anything drastic such as sterilisation as you never know how you may feel in the future. I fell preg with my first son at 17 and had him when I was 18 and I was ADAMANT - and I mean absolutely resolute that i would NOT have another child - and here I am 6 years later with a PLANNED bundle on the way.. I am glad that I waited for so long though and that I got to devote my full attention to my first son during his first years - I wouldnt have had it any other way. And my lord, he is SO excited to be a big brother and the ONLY reason I cannot wait to have this baby is because I cannot WAIT to see his little face the first time I introduce him to his new baby brother - I think I will most likely cry my eyes out :D

gr8scottswife - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Ada will have cousins and friends. She doesn't have to have siblings. Just make sure you make a point to keep other children around her so that she has friends.

gr8scottswife - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) No. I have really tried to figure out why people want more than one child, unless, of course, they are aiming for the opposite sex. As for me, I want to devote all my attention and money to my one child. I don't see anything selfish about it. Ada and I are going to be best friends. I'm going to be her best friend, the person she can always turn to and trust. I couldn't do that with two, I don't think.

dawnispregz - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Oh and if you decide to have one child and people call you selfish or whatever and say that your child wont be 'sociable etc etc' then you need to kick them where it hurts. Single children can be as sociable as any - thats why playgroups and parks are there. If you are a secure confident mum then you wont have a child on your hand that doesnt know whow to share/play/interact with other children

dawnispregz - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) its a personal choice, i wanted 2/3 children but i had SPD and was on crutches at 4mth pregs and by 8mths i was crawling to get upstairs and i have been told that if i have another child it will come back with avengance, and my pubic bone will prob break and itll need to be pinned. There is no way that i can look after a toddler with SPD and be pregnant at the same time, as well as trying to maintain my relationship n home. Its not fair on JD, to see his mum not being able to play with him, and not fair on Steve that has to go thru it all with me again because at 4mth pregs he was dressing,shaving, washing, carrying me in bed/bath etc. So no i wont have another child, i think its selfish if i have more, because i wont be able to give JD the attention that he deserves. And i still have bouts of SPD now after ive had a stenuous day shopping or whatever. So i know my body cannot deal with pregnancy again.

MomOfAlmost3AtHome - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think it is a personal choice. Yet, I was a school teacher and only children have different struggles than children with siblings. They struggle to share, not only toys, but the time of adults. I also think it is hard on only children as adults, because they do not understand the sibling relationship, for example, they won't understand that thier spouse is going so far out of their way for a sibling. I agree with one other poster, that the children do play together a great deal, and you learn so much about life from having brothers and sisters. Just my opinion.

stacemingas - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think you have to do whatever you feel is right. If you only have one (like me) then at least you know you can give all your love to just that one little baby.

sweet1 - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) no im pregnant with my first and i think it may be the only child i have too. i dont think its selfish. and if i do have another i will space them out like 4 years so i dont have 2 babies

voncoco - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) it is not selfish... there are an awful lot of unwanted children in the world... and not bringing another one in might even be a good thing! you can always adopt later on or foster.... lots of options.

ashleyelr - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think that whatever you feel is right..I was planning on two over a span of years and ended up with triplets my first pregnany....Once you see your baby and get in the swing of things who knows you may change your mind but I dont think you should feel bad if you only want one....Good Luck

ashleyelr - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think that whatever you feel is right..I was planning on two over a span of years and ended up with triplets my first pregnany....Once you see your baby and get in the swing of things who knows you may change your mind but I dont think you should feel bad if you only want one....Good Luck

ashleyelr - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think that whatever you feel is right..I was planning on two over a span of years and ended up with triplets my first pregnany....Once you see your baby and get in the swing of things who knows you may change your mind but I dont think you should feel bad if you only want one....Good Luck

lucijas77 - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) my sis claimed that one is enough, she wanted to give har daughter the best and all the attention, but now 7 years later she is preggo again and could not be happier, she was 21 with the first one and now is 28, i think that time changes opinion

Avery123 - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It may seem harder to have more then 1 when they are young, but I have found that when they get older (my older 2 are 6 & almost 4) they entertain each other and play together so they aren't as demanding on your time. But if you only have 1 child, you are that child's only source for companionship and they may demand a lot more of your time. Just my theory though, since I have more then one I couldn't tell you for sure.

Dutch-Mommy - 1079 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) ofcourse it is not selfish or mean.. A lot of people have one child,and this only child is surely happy =) Ofcourse it will wish a brother or sister.. Who doesn't? I'm the youngest of 3,And I allways wanted a little babysister or babybrother..I think that's the problem with every youngest child ;)What I'm trying to say is that every child will wish something no matter what state. A big Brother,A little sis..so it's never good enough haha