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I forgot to add in my last question....
Added: 1072 days ago.
Added by: JSue628
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


That both our families live in Colorado which is 6 hours away from us so minimal visitors, and set visiting hours are not possible for me to do. My hubby`s dad will be getting layed off in May and his nephews will be out of school for the summer so not only will it be the perfect time for my hubby`s family to come visit but they may even stay longer than the couple weeks. I asked for a few weeks last time and not only didn`t get that, but even after 3 weeks, I was doing horrible at breastfeeding so I asked for more this time. This is my main reason.

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karenbg - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) We also have family that lives on the opposite coast; we have made it clear to them that we want time to spend together "as a family" before we get visitors...I think you are going to have to be upfront, maybe your husband can take that on. If all else fails, send them a copy of this (anonymously if needed...) Dear Non-Pregnant Person, I hope you find these guidelines helpful in your interactions with pregnant women as failing to follow them may result in serious physical harm. If you are thinking, surely she doesn't mean me- then you should probably read this twice. 1) The appropriate response to a couple telling you they are having a baby is "Congratulations!" with enthusiasm. Any other response makes you an ass. 2) Through the wonders of science, we now know that babies are made ONLY by the mother and father- not grandparents. Unless the baby is in your uterus or you are the man that helped put it there, you may not ever use the phrase "my baby". 3) On the same note, unless you made the baby as defined in 2, the pregnancy, birth and raising of the child are not about you. You do not have input. No one wants to hear your opinion unless they ask for it. The same goes for the name of the baby. 4) The body of a pregnant woman should be treated the same as any other body. You would not randomly touch someone's stomach if they were not pregnant, nor would you inquire into the condition of their uterus, cervix or how they plan to use their breasts. Pregnancy does not remove all traces of privacy from a woman. 5) Likewise, no woman wants to hear comments on her weight- ever. A pregnant woman does not find it flattering that you think she is about is pop, must be having twins, looks swollen or has gained weight in her face. Telling her she looks too small only makes her worry that she is somehow starving her baby. Making such comments invite her to critique your physical appearance, and you may not act offended. The only acceptable comment on appearance is "You look fabulous!". 6) By the time we are 20-30 years old, most of us have picked up on the fact that the summer is hot. We are hot every summer when we are not pregnant. We don't need you to point out that we will be miserably hot before the baby comes. 7) There is a reason that tickets to L&D are not yet sold on Ticketmaster. Childbirth is actually not a public event. It may sound crazy, but some women really do not relish the idea of their mother, MIL or a host of other family members seeing their bare butt and genitals. Also, some people simply feel like the birth of their child is a private and emotional moment to be shared only by the parents. Like everything else in life, unless you receive an invitation, you are NOT invited. This includes doctor appointments, ultrasounds, labor, delivery, the hospital and the parents home. You do not decide if you will be there for the birth or if you will move in with the new parents to "help out". If your assistance is desired, rest assured that you will be asked for it. 8) If you are asked to help after the birth, this means you should clean up the house, help with cooking meals, and generally stay out of the way. Holding the baby more than the parents, interfering with breastfeeding and sleeping schedules and making a woman who is still leaking fluid from multiple locations lift a finger in housework is not helping. 9) The only people entitled to time with the baby are the parents. Whether they choose to have you at the hospital for the birth or ask for you to wait three weeks to visit, appreciate that you are being given the privilege of seeing their child. Complaining or showing disappointment only encourages the parents to include you less. I hope this helps- it sure makes us feel better. Signed, All Pregnant Women

shelley75 - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) how many of them come and do they all stay at your house?? If they are all staying at your house then I don't think it is rude to ask for a bit of time before they come...maybe one month would be sufficient....I know I wouldn't want a bunch of people staying at my house right after I have my baby....i would tell them if they want to come after the baby is born they have to stay in a hotel....

LilyPants - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) While I don't have any advice for you, I never thought of this situation arising with us, which its very possible that it could happen, because we just moved to the same town as my DH's parents, and I hope to God they won't want to come over and spend time with us after the baby - they sure as hell don't do that now! I hope I don't have the same issue as you, but I have the same habit as you, of feeling like you need to entertain. *sigh* Now I'm a little worried! lol Good luck!

AubreyP - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) do they stay at your house when they come? That sounds so awful. When I had my daughter I was getting stressed out with the visitor situation and finally said not visitors after 7pm (or 6pm can't remember) anyhow I think some of the family thought I was crazy but I was so tired in the evening and that made breastfeeding harder. I understand where you are coming from. After you bring the baby home you just need some calm around the house. Maybe you could suggest that just his parents come for a couple days in the beginning and then when you feeling comfortable with BF you will invite the whole fam to come. Pictures should be sufficient for the cousins. I wish I had better advice for you. If you ever have any bf ?'s let me know. I bf my daughter for 13months and the 1st 6weeks were really hard. After that it was great.

umich0730 - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think you are going to have to hurt some feelings and just tell them how you feel. With all that you have said I would most likely do the same thing. Your husband needs to be more supportive and I am sorry that he is not. Good luck to you, hopefully it all works out.

steffilily - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) When I was pregnant with my son, I kept stressing to my DH that if we have any visitor and it is time for breastfeeding that I want the time alone with the baby (by hiding out in my bedroom) and that DH was responsible for keeping visitors out of the bedroom and not to stress me about needing to come out so others can see the baby. He was pretty good about that. We even had pre scripted message set up on our cell phones so that with few buttons as possible, I could send him a msg that I needed to be left alone, needed a drink, etc.. Maybe ask your husband to do the same thing? That is if you are not able to prevent them from coming during the first 6-8 weeks.