Questions and answers

Compare this section with Yahoo Answers and Google Answers. Questions are all related to becoming pregnant, pregnancy, birth and babies.
Go to the Questions and answers index

relationship issues.
Added: 1072 days ago.
Added by: tassie-mum
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


Well I am nearly 12 weeks pregnant and im having some emotional problems. I can`t believe this baby has survived the past 12 weeks with what has been going on. My fiancee and I never stop fighting, ever. It always gets so out of hand. I try to stay calm but I just can`t. Im begging to think the worst of my boyfriend, he is so selfish and I really don`t think he cares, sometimes I think he likes to upset me because it gives him a power trip. He lies to me and does things behind my back, and im just trying to make things work because its cruel to bring a baby into a world of fighting. When will it stop, when will enough be enough. Should I just leave now? I don`t even know what to do anymore. I don`t feel like I can tell anybody close to me. Im just so afraid of him and what will happen. Im sick of feeling so sad all the time. I don`t like feeling like this stress is hurting the baby. He won`t come to counselling with me, he won`t even talk. He just takes off in the car and wastes gas money that we don`t have. He thinks this behaviour is totally normal. Im 18 years old and he`s 27, he should know better. This baby wasn`t planned but every child is a gift from god but how can I make this work? Am I ever going to be a good mum? I just don`t know what to do.

---

tassie-mum - 1070 days ago Thankyou so much to everyone for being helpful. I have packed up my things and moved back into my mother's house (I'm so lucky to have her!) I told my fiancee that I was giving him a break to think and I also said that if he got a job, and sorted his issues out that I may move back but until then I wanted nothing more to do with him. He still calls and messages me a lot but I don't answer because he needs to know that I am very serious about this. Anyway thanks for the support, lovely ladies xo

jq baby - 1070 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Well--- As my mother would say once you are a mother it is always your responsibility your mate can walk at anytime. The begining of my my pregnancy was horrible due to relationship issues and I was stressed and stressed my body. I was sitting down to pray one day and I decided I was going to be the happiest pregnant women in the world. I wrote a letter to my daughter with an apology of what she has been feeling while in my belly and promised her I would protect her and enjoy this once in a lifetime experience with her. I cried and prayed harder then I have ever done in my life. I prayed for safety and happiness during my pregnancy and that what ever my relationship with her dad turned out to be it would not effect her in anyway. After that he ended up getting a night job working 4-1 and I only saw him on the weekends ( it was great because some stress was lifted). I understand men go thru stuff to especially if they can not fully provide and they take it out in many different ways. But what I did not want is for me to be stressed with it. You can not stress-- you must make your decision that you will be happy for the sake of your Baby. Pray and mean it when you do-- not a woe is me prayer but a prayer with action statements involved. I am the best mommie in the world and with prayer this baby will be safe. I wish you lots of safety and continue to pray. Also, use common sense about situations! peace

voncoco - 1071 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) well first of all you should know that you are going to do fine at being a mom. I had my daughter at 18 and now she is 13 and thinks I am the greatest Mom in the universe (not typical of a teenage girl) your youth will help you in staying in touch with your child. The distraction of a self indulgent immature 27 yr old man might make raising your child more difficult. I too am in a realtionship that has some similar issues, it has gotten better but I am still super stressed out about everything. maybe you need to take a break at the very least. He needs to realise that you are serious about baby coming first! Chin Up and be strong!

secondandexcited - 1071 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) umm yea...you need to leave. Trust me, it doesn't get better. You said that he doesn't want to go to counseling. I'm sure you know this, but if a person doesn't want to change, you can't make them. And if your boyfriend doesn't want help, he won't get it. IMO if he doesn't want to try and make it work it's not worth staying. I mean, why stay? What is it about him that you love? If all you two do is fight and he makes you cry, totally leave. You could do better off on yuor own, and maybe you'll find someone 10x better down the road. It's not healthy to carry/raise a baby in a stressful environment! Try to hang in there and make the best decision for you and your baby. Good luck to you :o)

MelissaLMoore - 1071 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Babies rarely make men change and they don't just "grow up". If you are afraid of him, then get out! Why put an innocent baby in a dangerous situation. What you are feeling is absolutely normal for first time mom's regardless of age, so hang in there. If you need to talk, shoot me a line on my profile page.

baby ruth - 1071 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think that if you truly believe that things will not get better than you should leave!! With him being almost 10 years older than you he should not react the way he is, he is acting like hes way younger!!! How long have you been together? Just remember the old saying "any boy can make a baby but it takes a man to raise one." Beleive it or not you are still young and if it dont work out with the "baby daddy" theres always finding another man to be a father to your child, its more common than not these days!! Good luck and GOD BLESS

dawnispregz - 1071 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Babies create stress, even more stress when they are here with the drying,feeding,and constant lack of sleep you aer going to get. So i suggest getting rid of him, hes an adult near on 20 years old and acting like a teenager, i expected you to say that hes 17, and then my answer would be completely different. I know children can scare any parent male or female, but hell no to his behaviour. There is nothing wrong with being a single mum i have two friends at the moment one is due to give birth any minute and the other one is 5mth old and both of them are single mums and dong fine. My friend with the 5mth old had a relationship likes yours. So i told her to get rid because hes a tosser and mum n baby deserve better. He dont care about you obviously, because if he did he'll be waiting on you hand and foot. Do it with you family and friends, not him. He sounds like a tosser!

tassie-mum - 1071 days ago I just want to say thankyou to all of you lovely ladies taking the time to help me with this situation. All of your advice is really appriciated and your kind words make me feel stronger and like I can deal with this. Im a bit overwhelmed still but that'll calm down soon. Thankyou so much everyone! Xo

tassie-mum - 1071 days ago I just want to say thankyou to all of you lovely ladies taking the time to help me with this situation. All of your advice is really appriciated and your kind words make me feel stronger and like I can deal with this. Im a bit overwhelmed still but that'll calm down soon. Thankyou so much everyone! Xo

emma32uk - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i agree with ready4princesslaila, dont just stay for the sake of the baby, you can be strong on your own, you will manage and be a great mum!!! xxx

ready4princessLaila - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Don't put yourself down you are going to be a GREAT mom with or without him. if if treats you like that and you truly know in your heart and soul that things aren't going to work between you two then i would tell you that you should leave there is no reason to stay and be miserable all the time if if truly loved you if would have already seen what if is putting you through and wouldn't want to hurt you especially in a time like this....your pregnant you should feel happy and loved and be sooo excited about the upcoming baby....CONGRATS by the way!!! take it from me another 18 year old who's been through alot of bad relationships you are still sooo young and if he won't step up and be a man and show you he'll change then oneday someone will love you with all IIS heart and treat you like a woman should be treated....o and don't stay just because of the baby that kind of thing never turns out good. well i wish you the best of luck i hope i helped some;) take care and god bless!!!

emma32uk - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i have/ and sometimes have the same problem with my partner. from the word go, even though he wanted me to get pregnant, it was all negitive. to start with he didnt beleive i was pregnant even though i had done 4 tests my self, he wanted me to do one in front of him, anyway he kept putting of the day i was going to do it, so in the end i peed in a plastic lunch box and took it to him ( he was in the shed smoking weed). not the best start. i must of been about six weeks. by 10 weeks we had a massive row and i called the police, he left the house and went and stayed with a so called femaile friend of mine 3 doors away,( who has had 7 kids by 6 men!!!) and led me to beleive he was with her by posting things on facebook, i can tell you it was the worse moment of my life. i felt like a broken woman. to cut along story short, i took him back, because i loved him, the so called friend moved away. he has since stopped smoking weed, i gave him the choice the baby or weed, but i have serious trust issues now.....to top it all off he lost his job in november, which has added to the stress, we still row but i have learnt to keep quiet and to go out when it gets too much. i can understand exactly where your coming from, you just dont need the stress. he used to blame my hormones all the time, which wasnt fair. i am very sensitive.........things are getting better now though, we still have no money and my other 2 children have problems which adds to the stress........my solution was to give hime a time limit, 6 months to sort the relationship out, because i cant go on like this. i know i can manage on my own with the baby. maybe you could do the same, give him a time limit, you dont want to be feeling stressed and upset all the time. the other thing is men can be selfish and scared when it comes to becoming a father. i hope this helps, sorry to ramble on about my situation, but i thought it might let you see that theres alot of these kind of problems around......feel free to privately message me on my profile and i will do anything i can do to help xxxxxx

mommy-at-home - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) You said you are afraid of him, he will not go to counseling and he will not talk....sounds like it is time to leave.

krystee - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Oh darl...hugs to you...I agree, none of this stress is good for you or bub. Being pregnant is an emotional journey on its own without having hassels from your fiance. Perhaps you should take some time out maybe spending a little time without you he may wake up to himself and realise what he is missing out on and if not..well you and baby are probably better off without him. But it is a decision only you can make and deep down I am sure you know what is the right thing to do but remember the most important thing is the health of you and your precious baby, so be sure to put yourself first. I do hope you guys can sort things out though. Best wishes and be sure to take good care of yourself.. xoxo

tassie-mum - 1072 days ago Thankyou for your kind words klo0426, I will talk to him when he gets home and try and find out what is going on. I really appriciate the advice xo

klo0426 - 1072 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Sorry to hear this, but your right the stress isn't good for you or the baby. It is a tuff thing when one is trying and the other isn't. It's a shame that there are alot of us out here that try everything to make each situation work, but the one thing we can't do is make someone want or accept a child coming. Maybe he's just not accepted the fact that he's going to be a dad. Maybe he doesn't want to be a father....I'm not trying to make excuses for him at all so please don't think I am. I do think he needs to step up and take his role in your life, but you can't make him do that. Maybe the answer is to leave, that is your choice. If that is what you decide let him know why and just know it's hard. For some reason guys don't start to grow up in general until they hit around 30-35 years, and then some just don't. Do what you think is right for you and your little blessing growing inside. Good luck. No matter what you choose you'll be ok.