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My MIL is driving me crazy, HELP
Added: 1045 days ago.
Added by: umich0730
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


Ok, ladies I need some help. Please tell me if I am being ridiculous or not. My MIL watches my 2 year-old son twice and week and my mom watches him the other 3 days. My problem is that my MIL is driving me crazy. Every day that she comes over to watch him she brings “junk” for him to eat (donuts, candy, sugar cereals, etc.). I have told her before that we have food for him and I do not like him eating all that sugar, and she seemed to be fine with that for a week or so. However, she is still bringing it over and he is still eating it. I have complained to my husband and he has told her once about how we feel, and today it is happening again and my husband tells me to relax and I should be happy that we have her to watch our son and that he is not in daycare. Ladies I appreciate what she does but honestly she goes way overboard. She cleans my house, does my laundry (which I have told her not to do, numerous times), and so on. All I want is for her to watch my son and relax when he is sleeping. Am I asking too much of her to abide by my rules with my son? Also, she is watching him for free.

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umich0730 - 1045 days ago antsmom- I have tried talking to her in the past numerous times. It seems that whatever I tell her goes in one ear and out the other. She means well but doesn't get it sometimes. My husband and I do have keep any "junk" in our house and our son loves fruit and other healthy snacks. But now he loves candy to and wants it all the time. If he sees it at the store he screams until he gets it and so on. I do not want to stop her from watching him but I am at witts end with her and do not need my son with a mouth full of cavities and overweight. As for the laundry issue, I like your suggestion and I think I will have my husband put a lock on our door.

antsmom - 1045 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) If I were in your situation, I would sit her down and tell her flat out that while I appreciate her helping with the babysitting duties, it offends me that she continues to bring sweets over when I've already asked her not to. I would also tell her that it creeps me out to think of her doing our laundry and being in our bedroom when we aren't home. After the conversation I would start locking your bedroom door on the days that she watches your son. Hopefully, she will get the hint. At least she wouldn't be able to snoop through your room if the door is locked. Do you think she would listen if you were to tell her healthy snacks that your son likes and ask her to bring them instead of the sugary ones? My son happens to love blueberries so my parent's and my husbands parents will now stop at the supermarket and bring him blueberries if they really want to make him happy. It makes my son happy and me as well because it is a healthy snack. Good luck!

umich0730 - 1045 days ago Well as much as I don't want to say this I am glad that I am not the only one out there dealing with a MIL that is unbearble. Why is it that most of us cannot stand our MIL is beyond me. Thanks ladies for all your support. I thought my pregnancy hormones were getting to me.

beautyfulmommy - 1045 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I would slap the poop out my mil, right now she gets on my damn nerves making it seem like I can't DO ANYTHING RIGHT!..&it make it seems like im handicapped like I dunno where pots &pans go in my own APARTMENT...she also does way too much &it comes off rude like she buys me new underwears...(afta she did my laundry)...she knew my size &everything...Must have been Snooping! UgHsz... I dunno what to tell u abt ur MIL.but jus know iunderstand..

umich0730 - 1045 days ago I know she is trying to help out with the cleaning, but she is going overboard. She has bleached all my towels (and they are not cheap), and I am finding clothes ironed throughout the entire house in every bedroom because she does not know where to put anything. I asked her if she must iron to please leave them all in the spare room and we will sort through them, instead of trying to find out where they went. As far as the food goes she brings my son donuts and sugar cereal for breakfast. I have his yogurt and cheerios for him. He also has things like pancakes he can eat occassionally, bagels, toast, eggs, etc. She always has candy and gives that to him. I know grandma's are suppose to spoil grandkids but sometimes too much is enough. I feel like I am the hormonal one and taking things out on her but the reality is, that I have asked her not to do it and she continues to. My mother respects my wishes and does not give my son anything unhealthy to eat.

mamalvs4 - 1045 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) well with the snack food, i would say it depends on just how much she is feeding him,if its all junk and he is not eating anything healthy or a balanced meal all day you definitly have a problem, if its just a here and there then i would say pick you battles, grandma's are there to spoil and give them things that maybe mommy and daddy wouldnt allow. and im sure she is just trying to help with the cleaning and laundry etc so where you could keep telling her to stop more than likley if she is anything like my mother she will continue to "help"

mommy12 - 1045 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Is there some rule book, that says MIL or legally aloud to drive you nuts for the rest of your life? There has to be some rule book I dont know about. My MIL has lied about me repeatedly to get herself out of stuff and make it worse on me. She tells me how I should raise my daughter, treat my husband, and often compares me to her. Hello, I am fed up just like you. She gives my daughter baths when we visit, like I dont clean her enough or something. She has even gone as far as to tell me I was a nasty person and my house stunk. So the only advice I can give you is to tell her how you feel, yourself. Lay groundrules, because we all know dear mama-in-law cant go without seeing her dear sweet grandbaby a day or miss a chance to make you look bad. Just let her know how you feel.

umich0730 - 1045 days ago littlemom-I am so glad you understand where I am coming from. My MIL has gone as far as taking clothes out of my room to wash them, off my dresser to iron them, and God knows what else she has gone through. It drives me crazy and I do not need her in my personal stuff. She has only begun to watch my son since the beginning of March because my sitter moved out of state who had a home daycare. So I really had no choice but to let my mom and my MIL help us out until we figure out if we can hire a nanny (which is very expensive or put him in daycare which I really do not want). I do like your porn idea, maybe I should do that (lol).

littlemom - 1045 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) No, I don't think you are being crazy or over-reacting. Your son is YOUR child. Right now he is at an age where ya'll are establishing his eating habits. She may mean well but she is underminding your judgement. I would consider (especially at his age) enrolling him in a daycare or wee school those 2 days a week. That way he would get the interaction and you'll have made your point. Or atleast, I would threaten this idea to your hubby and MIL. I think there is some gene that makes MIL's do this to their sons spouses. I don't allow my daughter a lot of sweets, but you can bet at Easter, Christmas, Halloween or just when she visits she'll bring suckers, fake juices, chocolate--what ever to try to entice my daughter (thankfully Annabelle doesn't have a sweet tooth)! But the whole principle of this makes me angry. Just like the house cleaning thing. My MIL comes once a week to clean my house (i am 38 weeks) and yes i do appreciate it. but i don't want her to go through our bedroom or our dirty clothes and every time she comes, i find evidence that she has done both. I have threatened my hubby that i am going to buy to wacked out porn and put it in our nightstands--just so she'll get a shock when she is snooping. THEN we'll see what she has to say!!! Good luck with your issue!!

bebe77 - 1045 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) No, she should respect your wishes. Even though she's doing it for free, that's not an entitlement to break your rules. Maybe your husband should have another (gentle) discussion with her, emphasizing how grateful you two are that she's doing this and how happy you are for the time spent with her grandson, but asserting that you really do mean it when you request that the sugary food be left at home and the other chores be left to you unless asked otherwise.