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Older sibling coping
Added: 917 days ago.
Added by: tanyasheree
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


How do we ease the mind of our six year old? She was every excited about being a big sister but in the last few weeks she`s been very nervous telling us she didn`t want things to change and she don`t want the baby any more. I`m due Nov. 2 and I`m not sure how to deal with this except to do `role play` (how it will be with a baby and a big sister) and to set aside time with her even tho we tell her that we will still have time with her and we will still love her. She`s still afraid!

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erin b - 916 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I have a six year old stepson and at first once the baby was here he was excited for a few days and then started asking when she was going to leave. Once we included him more in the "baby stuff" he was a lot better. I would just talk about how much you're going to need her help once her baby sister/brother is here. I find it's more helpful for us to say 'your baby sister' instead of 'the baby'. And little kids get such a thrill from helping! Even if it's as simple as getting a diaper, or finding a pacifier (even if you already know where it is!). Mine also gets a kick out of picking out her outfits-he then goes on and on all day about how cute he made her! It's hard for things not to be all about the baby-but do make sure you take some time and have things be all about her every now again.

nutnut - 917 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) mine is 7 and she is excited about the baby so far. i think your daughter is a bit apprehensive bc its getting closer and closer to delivery time. just bc she's a little kid doesnt mean she doesnt have similar worries or concerns just like you might or daddy might. i have been doing alot this summer with mine. we have "mommy jordyn days" where we do something just the two of us and she really seems to like those days. i plan to keep these days once a month when school starts. all you can do is be there for her, and assure her that not much will change, that you will always love her, and keep her involved with things. remind her how good or how proud you are of her, and how you wouldnt know what to do if you didnt have her as your helper. sometimes i will go a few days like everythign is normal and not really bring up the baby until my daughter does. even though its a major event in our lives, i dont over do it or lay it on super thick, we still do everything like normal with small modifications. im afraid if i made too big a deal and keep reminding her about being a big sister every day, that it will add to all the anticipation and mixed feelings. i kind of try to keep it all in balance. sometimes the more information you give them, the more they think, the more they worry. so if you say "things will need to change when the baby comes" she might take that as everything, including her security will be different. i dont fixate on what we need to change for the baby when speaking to my daughter. i only talk about the good things. change will come a little at a time for her, but there shouldnt be THAT much change. i will tackle things as they come like i always have. for right now, i just try to think about what im saying before i say them to my daughter. the one thing my daughter is very worried about is when i have to go to the hospital to have the baby. she doesnt want to be in the room bc she said she would be too scared bc there might be blood (she watches birthday and make room for baby those sort of things on tv). i let her decide for herself where she wants to be when i have to go to the hospital. she wants to sleep at our neighbor's house with her little friends and im ok with that. i typically try to let her open the conversations about the baby, and it seems to work out well. my daughter has SLD and speech delay and is a bit behind when it comes to communication and comprehension so while she is 7 its more like im working with a 5 or 6 year old, so i use words she can understand and i dont get too technical or push too much on her at one time. you could give her a special baby doll to play with and do mommy things with so you can show her all about how to touch the baby, or hold the baby, feed the baby etc. i would just encourage her to be your little shaddow right now, and even when the baby comes. let her help as much as she wants, and praise her for it. good luck, im pretty sure she will be fine. youre probably showing alot now and its just becoming more real to her. it will be fine once the baby is here.