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Follow up on my situation
Added: 891 days ago.
Added by: christina-ann
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


for those who didnt read my posting a week back, i just recently left my abusive boyfriend to come stay with my mother. and i am 34 weeks pregnant. I was very worried that he was going to file for custody, though ive realized this would be an impossible feat because.. ive done nothing wrong, and hes nuts. Anyways... long story short. so, i caved a little and went to see him on wednesday, because he kept calling me crying, and i felt terribly guilty.. you know.. `how could you do this to me.. blah blah blah` so i see him.. we have the most FANTASTIC day on the planet.. we sit in the park, we go out for supper, we even got a motel for an couple hours afterwards. he made me feel like ive never ever felt with him before, in every aspect. it was absolute twilight zone. he made promises.. im going to change, stay with your mom as long as you want, ill show you, im going to be responsible.. im going to start working full time, im going to save money, im going to tell my psycho mom to fuck off..im going to stop smoking weed and drinking, and smoking in the house. im going to take care of you and the baby... wow. i was like.. if there is a god, this isnt a dream. so we make plans for sunday. we\re going out for breakfast. he says he`ll call me saturday evening. well saturday passes, im staring at my phone like a complete RETARD.. waiting waiting.. waiting for this amazing guy from wednesday to call me... its like i found a new boyfriend or something, i was just obsessed with wednesday and how amazing it was... so he never fucking calls. i call his brothers phone, and his brother tells me that he`s actually gone to his buddys house, and theyre going out. FINE. sunday comes.. i wait by the phone like a moron. i figure he`ll get up and call me right away so we wont break plans.. cuz that would be really hurtful. well no. i dont get a call untill fucking 930 pm last night. guess what. he forgot. SERIOUSLY??? He didnt fucking forget, he just decided that going to a fucking club with his friend drinking beers and getting fucking high was more important than the familt he kept trying to convince me, means the world to him.. liar liar liar!!!! then he tells me hes done a lot of thinking and he meant what he said wednesday, but he`ll never be that guy everyday.. that `pussy`. so i say, well thats the guy i want, and if you cant be him, then forget it. then hes telling me he doesnt have to change, and that IM the one who should be changing.. telling me that this is all hormones and shit, and ill regret leaving the day i give birth. SOOO untrue. anyways.. he`s fucked with me for the last time. he`s fucking broken my heart a million and one times, and i cant do it anymore. i was a FOOL for believing him on wednesday. an absolute FOOL. i shouldnt have caved in and gone to see him in the first place. anyways, ive decided to completely avoid him, and not inform him when i go into labor. i also dont want his name on the birth certificate. i want nothing to do with him, or my baby. he`s a heartless prick. im really hurt guys.. i was such an idiot to believe he would change.. it took him 2 fucking days to fuck it up. i should have known. :(

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mummyyumyum - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Aw hun - dont give yourself a hard time, and we have all been there....when you let yourself feel guilty and being talked into a reconcilliation. More now than ever when you are pregnant you want him to be 'THAT GUY' the one he promises....and you gave him one last chance, and all he has done hun is prove you right. So think of it this way, he cant make you feel guilty anymore he had every chance and now you know in your heart of hearts that he cant and wont be 'THAT GUY'. Be strong hun and you will be fine xxx ((HUGS))

jastinel - 891 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) dont beat yourself up about it,you did nothing wrong,everyone wants to believe there ex ,or someone they love that they will change to the way they want,you are truly grown-up and more responsible then he is ,you had to find out for yourself and you did,you realized on your own how bad he is and how he wont change,congrats,you passed the first hard test,you can keep him away if you want,its up to you,you are doing the right thing and you should be very proud of yourself,i know i am,for standing up to him and realizing that after 1 day of being perfect that ,that it was just a show to get you back,it will be hard but hang in there,you are doing exactly what you should do is take care of yourself and your baby,try not to worry now or get stressed now you only have 6 weeks to go for your little one to come so if you need to get a order of protection then get one if not then just stay at your moms and ignor him,dont let him in after the baby is born he will try becuae you are sensitive after the baby is born be strong like you are good luck

RobinG - 891 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Others said it prefectly ~ your best amunition is to have reports filed with the police everytime something occurs. When any judge considers the best interest of the child what is on record and on file with the police will be the most damaging and helpful. Plus keep a written record of everything, that too is considered. Esp dates, times, voice mails recorded etc etc.

courtenay - 891 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) hey i just wanted to let you know i have been through similar situations myself and i did make the decision to walk away, much earlier in my pregnancy than you are but that doesnt matter. it is still alot of the same stuff i dealt with in the past myself. anyways, walking away was the best decision i ever made. he is not on the birth certificate and has no rights, actually he has chosen to not even be involved but still talks alot of crap saying i wont allow him (which is soo not true but besides the point) anyways, i just wanted to let you know if you have any questions (im canadian, and about the same age as you as well) or just want some support then dont be shy. YOU WILL BE OKAY, and doing it alone is not always the harder choice, sometimes, it can make things better and easier, and i myself am hard, solid proof of that. my daughter and i have been just fine alone from day 1.

EllaG - 891 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Diane said everything that I was going to say! Good luck sweetheart, stay strong. xoxox You aren't an idiot, btw, he was just being a conniving, manipulative bastard and took advantage of your good nature.

Diane-taketwo - 891 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I knew he would come crawling back with the "I'll change" routine. I suspected he'd even put it into play for a day to try to pull the wool over your eyes. He tried. He failed. You shoudl print the comment you placed here today, and the last one, and tape them somewhere you can see them. If you ever need a reminder of what a moron he is, read what he did, and give your mom a hug for support. You don't want your child to grow up like him. You stay strong for you and the child. Love yourself completely and love will then come to you, and work to earn your love in return. I don't mean HIM as he is beyond hope, but when your heart heals and your confidence and self esteem grow, others will see that and be drawn to your strength. Before he is given the opportunity to be with his child he needs to FOLLOW THROUGH on the promises he made, not just make the promises and then break them. Lets see him out of his crazy mom's life, lets see him enter and finish a sobriety program, lets see him get away from his poisonous friends, lets see him get and keep a good job (are you seeing how much work this guy has to do before he should be granted access into your lives?) Remember, he will pull this 'I'll change' routine again and look like a prince - but the frog still lurks and will show his true colours and break your heart(s) again, and again, as long as you let him. I think you have seen the light though, and I wish you nothing but the best. Stay strong!! :) ((hug))

emma32uk - 891 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i get this from my ex too, he says he will change, crys, begs etc etc and the amount of times i have taken him back only to have him go back to his old ways a week later. my ex says he will not be controlled or governed, (he smokes weed and i hate it) he is currently living with his mum 50 miles away and says he has given it up....only time will tell, but i doubt it. stay strong xxx

juliegirly26 - 891 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) wow. keep your head up. you don't need ANY stress right now. you sound like an amazing and smart girl and he sounds like he sounds like a loser who will never step up for you and the baby. you need to be strong for the baby and yourself. you are better off. good luck with labor and delivery!!