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2 year old step-son
Added: 890 days ago.
Added by: MarcieB
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


My husband`s 2 boys live with us full time. oldest 5 youngest is 2. The two children could not be more different. The oldest is scared of everything and is soooo clingy. The little one is mean as H#&* and does not care one bit about anything. I have had him everday since he was 14 months old so I`m not new to him but I still feel new to the mommy thing even though I`m 36 weeks pregnant. I have tries everything with him. Taking what he enjoys, time out, everything. He continues to say and do mean things. I`m kinda scared about the new baby coming with his new actions. He had became so defiant(sp?). He seems excited about the baby so I dont think that is it. Is this normal in 2, almost 3 year olds to say and do such mean things. EX- `I`m not taking a bath` `I dont love you` I dont want to hold your hand` He throws fits and kicks and screams and lately everything seems to make him mad. I`m at my wits end and emotional too. help.

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mummyyumyum - 889 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I cant say for sure because I dont know all the ins and out but I would suggest a few things. Some of the way he behaves may be partly due to the way his brother behaves (doesnt make sense I know cos they behave oppositely) but if the older sibling is clingy and seems to get more attention, he may interpret that in such a way that he feels maybe left out and instead of competing for affection he behaves badly as it gets him a different type of attention. If I were you to address this here is what I would do, I would not indulge the older sibling and try and encourage big boy behaviour to try and combat the clingy needs. Secondly along with that, I would not force affection on the younger child but I would start with a routine of saying or having a conversation that goes along the lines of: it doesnt matter how badly behave I love you, still love you etc...and you dont need to behave badly to get my attention (he may be pushing the boudaries/limits of your love...as I have known children who have been separated from a parent do this in order to test that your affection is real). I would offer affection eg hugs, hold hands to both the children at certain times, so at bedtime say....can I give you a hug/would you like a hug? if he says anything along the lines of I dont want to hug you/I dont love you, respond by saying 'that is sad because I want to hug you/I love you' This will reassure him of your affection, and even if he does choose not to have a hug he knows that you wanted to give him one anyway. Eventually he will come to realise that you do love him and that wont change no matter how he behaves....and fingers crossed will realise that its not worth misbehaving. Stick to your guns though through out this with whatever dicipline you take eg removal of privaleges etc. I could be way of base, but I used to work with children, some of whom had behaviour problems for different reasons, but from what you have mentioned thats the best I can advise. I hope things get better for you xxx

myboogy80 - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) my 2 year old just picked up lots of bad words from my little sisters like "i hate you"..."idiot"...."ugly"....etc. i hate when she calls me those things i just dont know how to get her from saying those things i read that you should ignore it and she likes to hit....

Its-Chelle - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i have a son who is 2 1/2 yrs old who behaves in such a manner, and from i have been told, its how boys are at that age and not only terrible 2's but 3's as well. i dont look forward to it. we try everything but he is being who he is right now at this age

lisab123 - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Here comes the 3's. I thought they were way worse then the 2's. My son sometimes tells his dad that he loves me more then him. Although it hurts my DH all my son is trying to do is get his way and we dont let him. Does he have a special blanket or something really special to him. Tell him you will take that away. We used that with our son and it really turned him around. We stopped threatening and started taking away for however long depending on what he did and if he was sorry. Good luck. All I can say is be consistent. All they are trying to do is say or do things to get there way. Good luck:)

nutnut - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) you should talk to hubby and see if there are programs to work with him now while he is young. my neighbor's boy started off just like what youre saying, only he had issues with hitting ppl and throwing things as well and it took years for someone to figure out he has ODD, ADHD, and OCD. they work with a group of cousilers through headstart, then through the school system. he is also on medication to help control it. he's 8 now. they started working with him around 5 but he has been showing signs since 2 my neighbor says. better to act now and get him under control while he is little. good luck =)) keep in mind, the situation surrounding his mother, maybe that has alot to do with things. Then look at how you and your husband disciplin the boys, see if youre both on the same page, and being consistant. mrsstrickland is right, sometimes if you warn them "5 minutes were doing this..." then they can prepare for things. its not unlike children to have difficulty transitioning. my daughter had a lot of issues with transitions so we also warned her. we also had a velcro strip on the wall where we put pictures of what was going to happen for that day. it was her transition timeline. one picture was of a little girl getting out of bed, then brushing her teeth, then getting dressed, then play, or tv time, then breakfast, then lunch, etc. etc. it helped her alot. when holding my hand in the grocery store, i told her you can hold my hand, or daddy's hand or you can sit in the cart. when he is having a fit, you can either ignore him, or put him in time out. i would pick my daughter up and put her in her room and tell her when she feels better she can come out. then i would just walk away. needless to say, she didnt have many fits like that and after awhile when she would get anygry or upset she would send herself to her room until she felt better. i have a weird kid though lol. hang in there, they dont call it the terrible 2's for nothing. i actually had more behavior issues at age 3-4 than i did at 2 with my daughter. im not looking forward to raising a teenager LOL!

MrsStrickland74 - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I am not sure exactly what to tell you because I am not there to see exactly, but in a class I had to take for behavioural management, it said to handle cases like this with choices. When he needs to be holding your had (to cross streets and such) ask him do you want to hold my left hand or my right hand? He has to choose either one, but let it be his decision. When he needs to take a bath ask if he which wash cloth or toy would he like to use. Also give a warning so he can prepare for what is about to happen. When it is time for a bath tell him in 5 minutes it will be time for a bath, so that when the time comes it is not a surprise. If you are walking out of a store and you need him to hold your hand or what ever, before you go out tell him ok when we get outside which hand would you like to hold my left or my right. I hope this helps some. If this doesn't make sense let me know!