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U think 2 & 1/2 is a large age gap between children?
Added: 890 days ago.
Added by: NovemberGift
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


I had my first (a girl) in Nov 2007 and plan to TTC around her second birthday. I am a little worried because I wanted my kids ( i`d like to have two) to be closer in age but I had complications with my first delivery (emergency c-section) and wanted to wait till the stitches healed, and mentally also, that I had healed from the experience and was READY to try. Plus I wanted to give her the time and attention that another little baby wouldnt allow her. PLUS I am a little OCD about things and chaos and me dont go well together, I dont react well under stress and lack of sleep. Instead of having two small babies, and not being able to cope and taking it out on them I wanted to bring order in the life of one before trying again. I think she deserves a mom who`s fully checked IN, but now she`s older she is a little lonely, I can tell. When i`m busy with stuff she just hangs around sometimes looking lost. :( I know a sibling at such times would be nice. BUT, i am afraid that if i conceive even by her second birthday it would still be a large age gap and totally misses the point of having a second child, to be a companion and a friend to each other (yes i know they`ll be fighting more than anything but thats a learning process that i want them to have too). I had a miserable childhood and the one thing that got me thru is the incredible bond i had with my two siblings. Of course my child/ children are not in a miserable childhood thank god but I want them to be playmates, and be close enough that they can physically and mentally enjoy the same games and share childhood together, in ways onlly siblings can. As a mom I cannot give her what a sibling can! My older sis and i have a 3 year age gap, and the second was a 2 year age gap with me (i`m the youngest). I was sort of left behind as they were always more closer. So basically, i am feeling sad for my child that for my own selfish reasons i`ve left it a little too late. Have i? are there moms there with children with such age gaps (or more) and how do they interact with each other and do they get along or are they in so seperated by their milestones?

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NovemberGift - 887 days ago thank u ladies for such good and informed responses... lots of think over!

sarahann - 888 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) There are always positives and negatives in everything. You just have to go with what you think is right for your family. We wanted our babies close in age, so we started trying when our first was only 10 months old. It took us 5 months to get pregnant but we lost that baby when I was 11 weeks pregnant. So, we had to wait a month and then it took another 5 months of ttc again to fall pregnant again. So now, instead of having a 22 month old and a newborn (which is what we would've had if we hadn't lost the second baby) we will now have a 2 1/2 year old and a newborn. My point is, regardless of how you plan it and what you want, things may not turn out exactly as you wish. I would've loved my kids to be closer in age, but it's something that I couldn't control. So.... go with whatever feels right for you, but don't be disappointed if it doesn't happen that way. I agree with the others though, age probably has little to do with how well siblings get on.

davidsrose - 889 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Well i have 2 kids my daughter is going to be 3 on sep 11th my son is going to be 2 on september 18th and i have a little boy that is due any day know. My son and daughter are very close in age 1 year and 1 week apart, i love them being very close together yeah they fight but sisters and brothers do. I am going to say it is very hard i am stressed sometime but then it gets better, they do keep you on yur feet. I had a c-section with my daughter and a v-back with my son and it went well for me.

nutnut - 889 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) its fine. im pregnant with my second and my daughter is 7years apart. my grandmother had my mom then my aunt about 4-5 years later she said it was wonderful that way bc my mom always looked after her baby sister and played with her no fighting, while my brother and i were a year apart and while we did play together we also fought signficantly. my own experience having a brother a year younger than me was fine, but no lies we did fight. Like mariettap said, its not about the age difference its about family dynamics. i know my daughter will be a very good big sister to this baby and not "leave it behind" bc its just not the way my daughter is. i was the oldest. me, my brother and we were also raised with two cousins. i never let the little ones fall behind or left them out of things. we all ranged in ages with the biggest gap 11years between me and the baby.

mrsrheins - 889 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think it is a pretty good gap. I am 2 1/2 years younger than my sister and 2 1/2 years older than my brother. We turned out pretty okay I guess lol. I think it is all in how well you can handle things at once.

heidismummy - 889 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i dont think its too big a gap at all. its down to preference at the end of the day. personally i didnt see the point of waiting till my daughter was in school to have another, as i wanted her to have a sibling close enough in age so that they would be wanting to go to the same place and play with the same toys etc etc. i am expecting my second child now and my daughter will be 22 months when second baby is born. i think its a nicer way to have them close in age, yes its harder work, but they usually say the harder the work the better the gift! at the moment i have my sister in law saying how she is going to wait till her eldest is 4 years old so its 'easier' and better for him, to be honest though people always say they do or have done things the right way, all i go off is life experience and what i have noticed with siblings close in age compared to siblings where one is starting high school and the other is in nappies. best of luck when you start trying to conceive!!

lizzyo - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I don't think its too big a gap at all. I have 5 brothers, and out of all of them, I'm closest to one of them who is a twin, and 5 years older than me. I have one younger brother who is only 13 months younger and we have nothing is common and at. The one that is 2 years older, we aren't really that close either. I have 14 month old twins and even if I'd only had a single baby, my husband and I strongly feel that having another baby too soon would mean the other child/children would miss out a lot of attention from us that they would otherwise have gotten. I guess for us, we look at it as us being selfish if we were to have another child too soon, but of course, that's just for OUR situation, we do not judge other's decisions. At the moment, we are undecided about having more children, but will be waiting till our boys are 4 or 5 if we decide to go ahead.

mariettap - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I used to think sibling spacing was important. I learned through living that there are some things that we simply can not control. Now I have 2 children with 7 years between them. I can see a beautiful future for them already developing. It's not about age difference, but about family dynamics. ou show them the love of parents, and they gain the benefit of the love of a sibling as well, which they will have for their lifetimes.

RobinG - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) IMO it has nothing to do with age gaps, I know twins who hate each other and my sisters and I are 3-6 years aprt and are VERY close!! My boys are 4.5 years apart and 13 years apart and they are VERY close. I personally think a bigger gap is better then close. :)

RobinG - 890 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) For me it is not larger at all ~ I had my closest two 4.5 years aprt and wouldnt have it any other way :) It is MUCH easier when one is in school when a 2nd comes along :) But 2.5 is average IMO ~