Questions and answers

Compare this section with Yahoo Answers and Google Answers. Questions are all related to becoming pregnant, pregnancy, birth and babies.
Go to the Questions and answers index

Relationship woes
Added: 338 days ago.
Added by: serenitynow
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


Hi, I just wanted to know if anyone can relate. I`m currently in a relationship with a great guy, in theory he`s everything I could wish for but I feel disconnected to `me` since being with him. I don`t want to hurt him as he`s done nothing wrong, he`s a lovely guy but I can feel myself sliding into an unhappy place deep within my head. We recently spent some time apart due to a short vacation I took, and I feel like a bitch for even thinking this, but I relished the time away from him to be able to read, think, spend time collecting my thoughts, reflecting etc and as soon as I got back, I was hit with the `I missed you like crazy` `I`ve been counting down the minutes until you were home` kind of talk and it made me nauseous. Can anyone relate?

---

bcalove82 - 336 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) If you are pregnant or have a small baby I say wait. I literally cannot stand my husband touching me or being around me sometimes! I was that way when I was expecting my first too. I totally get that nauseous feeling, too. If you two don't have kids together or anything then I say let him go just because the feelings you are having are not just hormones and a red flag. You don't want to end up suffering months and months and months just to have it all fall apart when you just can't stand it anymore. It would be needless suffering to both parties.

blueberie_123@hotmail.com - 337 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) If you don't feel the same way he does it's best too let him go because stringing them along and not been open and honest about your feelings can lead to more troubles in the long run,It's hard because he's a great guy but he'll find someone else and you'll find someone else too who makes you happy 100% of the time and be in love with. Good luck hun

SLK - 337 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Yes, my husband is so needy in that way too...and I'm the complete opposite. It's a tough one, but I'm so much happier when he is not "ogling" or being really touchy feely. My husband sticks his hand in my bra or feels me up any chance he gets and it bothers me a lot especially when our two yo daughter is around

kristy rose - 337 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I love my hubby until no end but sometimes i just need that break. Just like I do from the kids. To be honest, I dont think you are in a 'healthy' relationship if you are feeling this way. He may be a great guy and all but if you find yourself feeling the way you are, you need to ask yourself a question. Who is more important HIM or YOU? Good luck hun x

lilmissesmum- - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I love my hubby dearly and like most people here he is my best friend and we are very open with eachother. There are moments though were I want time to myself and him to. When we arent dealing with our children we are with each other so its understandable that we need space sometimes. I havent had the feeling you've discribed but I do think that relationships can become that 'trapped' feeling if you let it and I dont think thats healthy for you or them.

skydivedoc - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Just because he's a great guy doesn't mean that you need to be in a relationship with him. If you were doing a puzzle & the 2 pieces didn't fit would you waste your time cramming them together or put it aside and find the right one? We put too much energy into relationships that we THINK should be one way or another. It doesn't have to be that difficult. Look at the way you asked the question: a great guy in theory, disconnected from me & slipping into a dark place... that's not good. You shouldn't have to convince yourself to be with someone.

allynne7 (Jaime) - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) It sounds like he isn't the one and that maybe you'd be happiest if you were single and free. I have to agree with the other ladies. My DH is my best friend. We are always together; even if we're fighting we're still in the same room together. I hope you find the right balance that suits you :)

harrycat - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I agree with some of the other comments - I think it depends on the context....whether you've been together for a long time, if you have children together etc. I have moments (sometimes even a few weeks) when I enjoy time away from my partner but deep down I don't think anyone else would make me happier. However a good friend left his wife last year after feeling similar low grade discontentment to what you've desribed and after initial enjoyment of his freedom wore off has been very lonely and regretful of his decision.....so if you're going to leave then be sure you're sure! I think you should also try to make things better before you bail....make a big effort to persue some independent interests, maybe a few new common interests, and ask him to back off a little bit and see if things improve?!

AndreaV - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I forgot to mention that I broke his heart :( it wasn't pretty cause he was horribly in love wiyh me but I wasn't in love with him, so what else was I supposed to do? Eventually he found a new girlfriend and it seems like they are very happy together! My husband who I have been with for over 5 years makes me happy. I have never once had that trapped feeling with him :)

AndreaV - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I had a boyfriend like that once. There was nothing wrong with him. He was a great guy-just not the guy I wanted to be with. I eventually broke up with him. I feel bad I even waited as long as I did. Its not fair to either one of you to stay in a relationship thats not working for one person. I hope you decide to do whatever is best for you :) good luck!

yayfornumber2 - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) OK after reading other's responses....I guess it makes a BIG difference in how long you two have been together...usually the first couple months couples don't want to be apart....then after that is when they go through a time where one or both kind of needs their space and might feel suffocated....once you have been together a year or two though you really shouldn't LOVE being away from him....ONLY you know how you truely feel...if it's about HIM, then maybe you should rethink the relationship...but if you are just really craving some you time and need some space here and there to collect your thoughts and be alone, then that's perfectly normal. I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have a 2 year old and one on the way and I must say, when he takes my son out for the day, it's the greatest thing in the world just having some time for ME! I think you are feeling normal! Good luck

angie2008 - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Do you have any time for yourself when you aren't specifically away from him like on vacation? Do you have your own hobbies, read on your own- things like that? My fiance and I definitely love spending time together alone and with our family BUT we also like to do our own thing too. We don't have to always be together- i do things by myself or with the kids or with friends and he does the same. THis works out great for us. Maybe you just need to tell him that you want time for yourself to do xyz and he should understand that. I don't think it means you don't love him- you just want to be you and have some independence!

sarahlj - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I have to agree with babygirl. Those are the same feelings I had with my ex towards the end. Every moment I spent away from him I cherished. Going away for a week without him I found I as enjoying myself and felt more like me, exactly the way you described you felt when you were away from your boyfriend. We did stay together just over a year later and were together in total nearly 5 years but after that holiday away I kinda knew that it wasn't going to last. The difference being he wasn't a nice guy without me going into too much detail. My fiance and I have been together now for 5 years and we are like best friends. I hate going away without him and vice versa and we both look forward to the times we can spend together as a family.

babygirl (pink) - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) i guess you are not in love with him. If you end up marrying this guy and he messes up in some way, you will find it easy getting rid of him. Love is what holds a relationship together through the stuff ups. You will be torturing yourself being with someone you are happy being away from. Me and my husband are like best friends. He never goes anywhere without me. He rushes home from work to spend time with his family every single day. I guess we just like being around each other. He's in no way perfect, but i know he's the best match God could find me.

yayfornumber2 - 338 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I can't personally relate...but it sounds completely normal...that's where the whole "I need space" thing comes in. Sounds like a great guy that you could be very happy with, but you may be a little suffocated. Maybe just tell him that while you were on vacation you started reading and having some time to think and be alone and it was refreshing to find some time for just you again, and that maybe it would be beneficial to both of you if you had just a day a week or something where you can have some alone time. There is nothing wrong with you or anything...most people need time to themselves without even phone calls from their guy. You should talk to him for sure....sounds like a good enough guy that he'd understand! Good luck