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How do you bring it up?
Added: 241 days ago.
Added by: Eloiseandharrys-mummy!
Section: General.
Status: This question is Closed. (Questions will be closed after 10 days.)


How do you bring it up with your partner/husband that you think now is the right time to have another baby. My husband said last year, this year but any hint i give are brushed away or he says one day. How do i bring it up and keep the conversation going and having a proper discusion about it.

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Eloiseandharrys-mummy! - 240 days ago Its okay I will wait patiently another year :) I'll just concentrate on everything else. If not we're getting a dog lol.

happy-mummy - 240 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Yeah, it must be frustrating :( it's tricky to know what can be done, hope you find a resolution. Usually with men though once they do agree it's the right time they stick to it like glue!

Eloiseandharrys-mummy! - 240 days ago ive told him a million times if he doesnt want anymore thats fine. I would just like to know. what annoys me is being told this time then when it comes he puts it back another year.

happy-mummy - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Well if you've talked about it and he's adamant he doesn't want one then I guess that's the answer :( . Perhaps he doesn't want a third, i know for definite that we won't be having a third, we both always knew that two would be the most we would have (unless we had a multiple second time round). Perhaps he's done at two and doesn't know how to tell you?

Eloiseandharrys-mummy! - 241 days ago (cont) another reason i have now is i want to start up my own cake business but i dont want to build it up then have to stop and start, not only to do with time as i would only have a couple of months off in total but thats something i dont get paid for. Oh well i guess it will happen when it happens. Otherwise i'll go mad thinking about it lol

SPCSchofieldsWifey - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) My hubby does the same thing, I talk about it and he says someday, not right now, let's wait until I get into my career first, etc...I knows he fears change like most other men, mostly financially because he is the only one bringing in the money since I'm a stay at home mother at the moment, but I also know that he does want one more...one day I told him I was serious I wanted to know the real reason why he wants to wait a little while longer...he told me that because I already have 3 kids and once I have my 4th and we will be all done that will be it, he is only 25 and has only had one bioligical child and he just isn't ready to be done with that part of his life yet....I don't want to have any children after I am 30, and I would like to start my own career by then, I want to have my babies close in age so I can be a stay at home mom until the youngest is in kindergarten, I'd rather not try and start my career and then stop to have anoher child and then start again, but I completely understand what he is saying, I too know that I am going to be sad when I am done having children, that part of my life will be over. So I am willing to give him some more time to enjoy our son while he is still an infant (he's 15 months now), we talk about it all the time, I would like to have another by the time our son is 2 1/2, he would like to have another by the time he is 3...we just do alot of negotiating, one of these days we will feel comfortable to compromise on a time that is right...just talk to him. The truth will come out, I know I was surprised when my hubby finally told me why. Good luck!

Eloiseandharrys-mummy! - 241 days ago Well i brought it up. He said when harrys in school so in two years then he said in one, but harrys in school in january. He says it every time. I dont want to have a child, get them into school, then have another. Seems selfish but i was brought up like that and i didnt like it, when one finally got to the same stage as the older, the older child was then going into another phase of childhood and didnt want to know. As for something freaking him out, the only thing that has happened as i dont change when pregnant other than my physical appearance. Is that what it is? Oh god it is isnt it. First pregnancy he became addicted to porn (of our mothers age) then the second he had what i would call a 'text affair' right through my pregnancy and even on xmas. I must admit im a little worried it wouldgo to the next level if i was pregnant again but at the same time i honestly believe he wouldnt. So it doesnt worry me that much. Maybe he just doesnt like the look of me being pregnant. He still didnt give me any reason why other than, he just didnt want one right now.

melkoric - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I agree with everyone on here when they say that men never want to commit to trying... I remember trying for this one I am 30wks I would get so frustrated because it felt so one sided I told him that we should have another one because our dd is getting older and is alone and 4 years is far enough of a gap!you should ask your hubby if he wants another and where he stands right now?..... tell him you want to try for another one now so that there isn't a big gap between the baby and your youngest

happy-mummy - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) (cont) he tells me now that he was terrified of me having mood swings as bad as dd but because i havent he's thrilled. Maybe something freaked you dh out last time and he doesnt know how to say x

happy-mummy - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I bought it up a few times but actually talked myself out of it. This time i realised i was ovulating (a rare event for me!) And so i actually sent him a message at work saying i would like for him to bring it up and talk about it properly with me when he got home later which he said he would, anyway he didn't and im not lying when i say i git steaming mad that night. I was so angry that he didnt even talk to me about it. It was actually a good thing because he talked, all of his worries, financial, which is fine as my mat policy trainig is better than when qualified (which he didn't know) and how upset i was first pg (i had an evil boss) and he didnt want me to be like that again. I told him because i wasnt there anymore i felt better and having dd made the pg so worth it and i could see that now. Anyway we slept on it and in the morning he said "ok, i'm ready". Now im so chilled this time pg hes loving it

mfbrown - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) They are hardly ever actually 'ready' to commit to TTC I don't think. It has always been me who brings it up and he usually just thinks "eh it won't happen.. or at least not for a while" haha. With #2 it took us 7 months TTC and it got to the point where we were charting and even he was getting antsy! #3 was a whoops though and I remember he about keeled over. He was totally cool with it when it happened. Guys aren't so much for planning things... they're solvers :0) That's just my 2 cents :0)

preciousbabybump - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Just tell him...choose a perfect moment when he is relaxed but men are never gonna say they are ready dont know why they are that way. Then again you never see a guy on this website ttc its just us girls.

2babiesforme - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I was in your shoes and he kept postponing and holding off. I got more and more depressed about it :( and everyone was preggo around me. Finally after a year on Christmas I asked and cried lol and he said he was ready! I don't know what changed but he's happy about it now, we are due in 3 weeks :)! Just be honest that it means a lot to you. We got lucky and it happened the 1st try but it's not always that easy! Good luck!!!!

Harrycat - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) Just bring it up very honestly......tell him you'd really like to have another baby.....don't make hints.......if he says "one day" just tell him its very important to you, and that whilst you respect you both have to be on board you'd like to know why he wants to wait

LovelyYoungMama - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) honestly, most men need to be convinced a little. Not because they don't want it but because they get comfortable in the lives they have and fear change. There are those men that want a bunch of babies but its not the majority. Tell him how important is it to you and that it won't change the family dynamic, which ultimately is what he would be worried about

yayfornumber2 - 241 days ago Rating: 0 (0 votes) I think the answer is obvious....I mean, my husband and I had a son in December of 09 and about October of 2011 I sat down on the couch with him and said, "I think I'm ready to start trying for a baby, what do you think?" to which he replied that it would put a damper on the 3 weddings we had before the end of the year ;) (meaning I couldn't drink, hehe) so we decided to wait to start trying until December...I asked him if we could financially handle it and if it was a good age gap between the kids, etc....I mean...I am not sure why you want to "hint" at something like that...is there a reason that you can't sit down and tell him that you are ready to start trying for another baby and ask what he thinks? (((I am not asking to be rude, I am really curious if maybe this has been a touchy subject or if maybe you want another and he doesn't so it's hard to bring it up or something...I mean, if not, I would just talk to him)

Eloiseandharrys-mummy! - 241 days ago He says he wants more and says when then pushes it back and back.