Military Families

How can I involve my partner while he is away?

Pregnancy, birth and parenting are exciting, emotional and challenging times in a woman's life. For many families around the country, being in the military can mean that one partner misses parts of these special times. Whether you are in the military yourself or your partner is in the military, there are ways that you can make the transition smoother.

Find out what benefits the military offers and take advantage of them. Take a tour of the hospital that you will be delivering at and find out what services are offered for you, as an expectant mother and after your delivery.

Going to prenatal appointments alone can be stressful and depressing for some women. Find a family member or friend that you trust to go with you. Ask for a detailed report of your progress and make sure to keep your partner informed. Share pictures from an ultrasound and of your growing belly as often as possible. Record the sound of the heartbeat and ask for a video of the ultrasound, if possible. Your partner will enjoy these special mementos of their growing baby. Send your partner a pregnancy book so that he can read about what stage of pregnancy you are in. You might find one that is geared towards expectant fathers.

There is always the possibility that your partner could miss the birth of your baby. Make sure that you have a good support team lined up well in advance just in case this occurs. If possible, stay connected with your partner throughout the delivery via telephone. A support person can talk to him and keep him informed of your progress. There is nothing like hearing your baby cry for the first time and your partner would most likely treasure that phone call. If allowed, videotape the delivery so that your partner can see the birth of their child. After the baby is born, send digital photographs of the baby as soon as possible.

Comments: Military Families

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waitingtoexhale - 46 days ago.
I'm an Air Force wife. My hubby is recently deployed and won't be back until august at the earliest. Im almost 9 wks but we've had so many mc's in the past...all I do is worry. We got to skype for the first time last night and all I wanted to do was sleep. We also have an almost 4 yr old boy. Past deployments didn't seem to bother him much, but he gets upset at night when daddy isn't home. My MIL is staying w us but that is both good n bad. Ok, well enough venting for now. Not sure if other military families log on here much anymore. Thought it would b nice to talk with others who r having a similar experience.

p31usmcwife - 513 days ago.
Hiall! Six weeks prego here. Just took test today though because I really wanted two lines on the little stick for Christmas. Hubby is deployed right now and is supposed to be back in time for the end of the pregnancy. Just told him the good news today! Merry Christmas baby! I love love love my Christmas present!!!!!!!!!!!

ashleecarter - 538 days ago.
Why are the chats never going that I want to be in? DH and I are TTC #2 and get it here before he deploys next fall. Otherwise i will deliver alone, which he isn't entirely happy about but we don't want our kids spread too far apart in age.

army-wife - 606 days ago.
I'm a army wife. My hubby is in Afghanistan. He got two week leave and I had our baby boy the day before he went back

hisbabymama85 - 714 days ago.
I know no one has been on here in some time but my fiance is planning on going back into the USMC and pplans pn going into OCS in VA. I have no idea what to do, hes finishing up his school and is basically thinking our lil Boss who just turned 13weeks. I just dont want him away... grr

USMCwifebaby4 - 835 days ago.
I always take lots of pictures while Daddy is away so that he can feel more connected to them. I plan on taking lots of prego belly pictures for him. He bought a hallmark book to record his voice reading to them...I think I'll like that more than them...I'm going to miss his voice so much.

-Debster- - 841 days ago.
Hi, all.. I'm an army wife in New Zealand and my husband is based 2 hours away.. We're 7 weeks pregnant with his 1st/my 2nd child and he wont be living back at home til June/July so he'll be missing out on a lot.. Thankfully he's still in the same country and within reach but there are days when being apart can seem very hard. He hasn't been able to live with me for a year but we get to see each-other several times a month. He had a whole month off at Christmas which was great.. (obviously!) Lol. I had my first Ultrasound today.. Wish he could have been there!

USMCwifebaby4 - 841 days ago.
I am a marine wife...who is 4 weeks pregnant with baby #4. My husband is due to leave very soon. We tried to plan it so that he makes it back in plenty of time to be here for the babies delivery. I'm hoping that being pregnant will give me something to focus on other than the danger that he is in. Oh how I LOVE my Marine! He's the BEST!

lillith30 - 847 days ago.
My boyfriend and I are expecting our first baby together. Im currently 22 weeks pregnant, and altough were thrilled about the pregnancy, I cant help but feel alone and sad that we cant see each other as much. Hes a marine and hes based in another state 4 hours away. Does it get any easier and is there anyone else that feels like I do? I really have nobody to talk to that is in my situation.

mostbelovedbaby - 861 days ago.
I'm 35 weeks and my fiance just deployed Jan 1st. Our status doesn't afford us any special consideration and he won't be coming back in time for the birth. My issue is how to deal with his just revealed feelings of jealousy. My brother will be coming up here to drive me to and from the hospital when the baby is due and to mine and the baby's first checkup. I keep thinking I should ask him not to come up and do what I had initially planned, which is to drive myself to and from the hospital? Either way, I'm hurt that he's hurt by what he is going to miss out on, but I'm missing out on him too. I feel emotionally stressed out.

Hewson91 - 951 days ago.
Hey Been a RAF wife for almost a year now, im pregnant with are first baby and im soooooo excited even more that my husband is not going away and will be here to see the birth of are son only down fall is he will be leaving to go on tour 2 months after :( hmmmm admire all your ladys its really not easy having a husband in the forces xx

tinkerpoo2 - 962 days ago.
Tattooed Beauity= They cover most of the fertility stuff. they do not cover all of the IVF treatment though. I believe it's about half. I've heard people only haveing to pay about 5,000 dollars. They covered all my meds and my IUI's. IVF would have been our next option if the IUI faild us. Tricare has been VERY generous with provodeing us these very expensive meds and treatments free of charge. Good luck!!

kidatrbaby - 962 days ago.
Tattooed- I called tricare to see if they could help me out , I think they help with some infertility issues , u can atleast give them a call, I hope it all works out for you.

kidatrbaby - 962 days ago.
my husband just deployed im 23 wks he's not due back until march after I give birth , Is there anychance he can get his 10 days of paternity leave then go back to Afghan , this timing is awful it is his 1st baby???

ashleyalaskelson - 967 days ago.
So, I'm not sure where else to voice my concern.. my non military friends just tell me to do what makes me happy.. My husband deploys in april. And our son is 20 months old. We planned on trying to have another baby around this time, because we want the age range that we'd get.. Now that he's deploying we are in a tough spot. If we wait until he is back, a year from april, considering time to try and then the 9 months to have this baby, we will most likely be in the middle of a move.. and our son will be closer to five. We really didnt want that age difference.. We are both still okay for trying now. Although he'd be gone. I dont want him missing out, and it would really suck to be alone with 2 babies. As of now we are just having fun, not trying to get pregnant.. not trying not to. Anyone have ideas?

momo2203 - 972 days ago.
Hello! Ima army wife of 9 months..currently 16 weeks prego..and my husband is PCSing in febuary to go to germany!! It sucks cause ima having the baby in march! It's gonna be hard because i also have a 2 year old..I'm seriously dreading the flight to germany in april..ima be by myself with a 1 month old and a 2 year old!

bellaforte - 1001 days ago.
My husband and I are both active duty Marines stationed at Miramar and we are both going on terminal leave this Friday!!! Our baby girl is due Nov 4th and we cannot wait to raise a beautiful family outside of the military!

Pinkexecutioner - 1003 days ago.
This is our 3rd baby. My husband deployed a few weeks after my son was born. It was hard, but I knew he had to go. I kept him updated everyday with photos and videos and we webcamed everyday so at least he got to see him. You ladies just have to put yourniron hearts on and support your men, it'll be fine. My husband came home right after our sons first birthday, he missed a lot, but was able to be there for his first steps. I'm grateful that he's home safe and we are a whole family again ~and pregnant :) deployment baby! lol!

babybrown2010 - 1015 days ago.
Hi Ladies just wondering if anyone was in Ouantico, Va.? Trying to see what the have as in mom groups and such. I have been here since December and still don't have any good friends..

katelynsmommy - 1026 days ago.
Hi ladies!!! Just looking for some support here.. I am currently 29 weeks with our second little girl, have a two year old, and my husband is going to be deploying to Iraq just 3 weeks before the due date. I'm having a really hard time with all of this (and I'm sure being pregnant doesn't help the emotions). Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice?

xlxsparkzxlx - 1028 days ago.
Hi, I'm engaged to and ArmyNG, he said now that we are going to have a baby he wants to go active duty (following the birth of the baby), I just started a brand new job, I'm not quite sure what to do, I said I would go with him where ever he was stationed but I don't know about how having only one parent working would be feasible. Anyone out there who has been through this, have any tips, suggestions etc? I'd love to hear them.

kidatrbaby - 1040 days ago.
em2 stewarts wife - thx all of this is new to me I would rather for him to be safe also, I can hold down the fort until he gets back I just dont want him 2 start tripping because he's missing the show, this is my 4th baby so im a pro at this by now, Im more worried @ him than myself right now, thx again

em2 stewarts wife - 1043 days ago.
Kida, it really depends on the mission your husband is on. My husband is on a sub and all of thier missions are classified and so it is almost impossible for him to return home in the middle of a mission. When you get closer to your delivery date he may have some better idea of his options but its usually not very easy to plan so far ahead. You should inform his command and hope for the best but not expect it. Like I said it honestly depends on the mission. My husband was out to sea for two of my miscarriages... they sent him home for one of them but were unable to send him home for one of the others because it was just not safe. I hope that he is able to come home for you... I am due in October and as of right now I am not sure if he will be home or not. I really hope he will be but it all depends on his work. I would rather him and his command be safe than for him to have to risk a mission to come home.

Falcon0108 - 1044 days ago.
kidatrbaby - I know the Air force is family oriented and so is the Navy. As for the Navy (my branch of service) they let the parent fly out from their ship on the week you are to deliver for up to 5 days I believe. There might be something like that in the Air Force, your husband should most definitely let his Chain of Command know about this and ask.

kidatrbaby - 1044 days ago.
If anyone can answer this plz do , I'm a aiforce wife im still kinda new to this its only been 1yr (july 22) but this is me & my DH 1st baby he deploys in a few wks , He's not due to return until after I deliver , Will they let him come home for a few days when I deliver or is it out of the question??? I asked him but he doesnt kno much @ this type of stuff... He's suppose to return maybe 2 months later...