Military Families

How can I involve my partner while he is away?

Comments: Military Families

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ARMYMOM - 1086 days ago.
Christy I got out of the Army on my pregnancy.. best decision I could have ever made. I love being a SAHM and don't think I could have done PT and then gone to work for another 8 hours after only 6 weeks of being on maternity leave. Don't feel bad about you decision.. I think it's very wise if you can afford it!

Christy1024 - 1086 days ago.
Hello, I am 6 weeks along in my pregnancy and both my husband and I are active duty in the Air Force. We are still newlyweds and now expecting. We have been talking about all the possibilities, lately we came to the decision of me getting out, so that we both arent deployed at the same time. We are both due to deploy in June 2010, in our seperate career fields. Our future child will only be 7 months at this time, i havent done any paper work yet...because we have to figure out our finances. People might think it's the wrong thing to do, but i will not leave my child during its first year of life and miss all those special moments!

ARMYMOM - 1086 days ago.
Pinkexecutioner I had a really tough time keeping my hubby involved with my pregnancy.. he's infantry so I only heard from him maybe once a week or once every 2 weeks or so. Around 20 some weeks I went and had a 3d/4d ultrasound and he was actually able to view it live over the internet. It was amazing.. see if you can find a place that does things like that. The place I went was called 3Dpeek and they recorded the heartbeat and put it inside a little teddy bear that I sent to him. I'm in FtCampbell, KY and I know they have locations in TN, OH, KY.. they have a website.. just google 3d/4d ultrasound clinics in your area. **********NAVMIFE*********** I think it's completely human to feel a little jealousy towards your sis but at the same time I hope your happy she doesn't have to go overseas. I had a moment where I felt jealousy against one of my friends whose husband was sent home early because he was involved in an accident and had severe burns on his arms. I felt horrible for feeling that way and got over it and I'm happy he was alive and ok enough to come home to her. I think its only human to feel that way sometimes but be thankful she doesn't have to go to Iraq and have to worry about her safety every single day.. that would be 2 people in your life you'd have to worry about. This was also my DH's 3rd deployment so I know how you feel and it sucks. My hubby comes home next month from afghanistan and I CANNOT wait! omg.. it's been such a long year.. and our son is going to be 6 months old.. He is gonna freak!

kennedysmommie - 1086 days ago.
I think its actually childish to feel that way..I can seee if she was just getting out of it for no reason or a BS reason. But she is pregnant..period...point blank!..would you like to go to iraq carrying a baby. Most of us wouldnt want to travel to the wrong side of the tracks durng pregnancy..There were times when my hubby had to go out to sea and some guys stayed back for numerous reasons. I didnt let it get to me. In the military you do what your supposed to do and getting deployed is one of them..So relax and be happy that you SIL is not going to be over there preggers!!!

pinkexecutioner - 1087 days ago.
With all due respect she is pregnant and can't deploy...Have you been to Iraq yourself? If I didn't have to go, I wouldn't go either. I been there and it's not vacation. Not to mention the damage it does to your children and the bond you have with them. Granted, I can see where you are annoyed that your husband has to go and she gets to stay home, but put yourself in her shoes. Would you want to leave your newborn for a year? I left my son when he was 2 and came back a year later to a child that barely knew me and spent another year in therapy because he had severe emotional damage. Iraq isn't worth it.In my opinion, of course, but I will support my husband when he leaves and if I have to go back, he will support me, but if I don't have to go, you better believe I am not going.

navmife - 1087 days ago.
hello there.. i myself am a nvay wife with a 1 y.o. daughter with my hubby and we are expecting #2 in september.. he deploys in 3 days to Iraq and im obviously staying here... just found out that sis who is a marine supposed to be deployng as well is preggo with 2nd child and is getting out of going on her deployment.. am i wrong to be angry she is not going and gets to stay home with her family while i as well as many other families have to be seperated? (this is 3rd consecutive deployment she has not had to go on BTW)

Pinkexecutioner - 1087 days ago.
Wow, those are really great ideas! I'm taking all the ideas i can get! This is my husbands first baby, but I have a 5 year old from someone else that he's taken care of for the past 2 years. He's a great dad to him and I know his heart will break when he leaves us.

military~mommy - 1092 days ago.
Wow, that is a great idea... I might do soemthing like for when I leave next month....

jessikaanne - 1093 days ago.
They have a video reading program in most branches of the military, I know that my husband sent home video's of him reading books to the baby, it is done through the Chaplin of the unit that they are with. This is a great program! Not only did our son get to hear his daddy, but I got to watch him read the books and felt closer to him too.

Pinkexecutioner - 1093 days ago.
What's the best way to keep the DH involved in our life while oversees for a year, besides webcam and letters (that's a given). Anyone have any ideas?

jessikaanne - 1095 days ago.
Hi to all you military spouses. I am a Navy wife of almost 12 years. I married my dear hubby and 2 months later he was deployed for 7 months to Antartica with the US Science Foundation.....we got to speak on the phone 1 time a month because of the cost of the calls. After 4 years of being married we finally got to spend a Christmas together. I have been through ALOT of deployments, alot of ups and downs and to say the least alot of heartbreak due to him being away so much....But the one thing I want to say is I AM PROUD TO BE A NAVY WIFE...and I AM EVEN MORE PROUD OF MY SAILOR! My husband was deployed for 7 months (April-November '08) after he left I had our son Michael, 6 weeks later Michael passed away from SIDS, it was hard for us to have my husband return and then leave again, but we made it through. In July my husband had to come home once again due to my mother passing away, we unexpectadly got pregnant and I am currently 32wks 4 days and due to health issues pregnancy isn't going real smooth, just found out that hubby will be deploying for 6 months on April 29....19 days after our daughter is due! I amscared to death to do this once again, but as I have learnedbefore what God wants is what will happen. So for all you military wives that feel that you can't handle anymore......it doesn't get easier, you just learn to roll with the punches. As far as worrying if your spouse is cheating.....there are so many other things to think about while they are gone. don't make problems where there isn't any, know the facts before jumping and take a long hot bubble bath. Good luck to you all and remember there is help in every branch family service center or by calling MilitaryOneSource they are there 24/7. send me a message if you need the number, they are there no matter what your concern is, they will talk you through or direct you to local help in your area. Trust me there is nothing that they haven't heard before. We are currently stationed in Norfolk Va, if anyone is local and wants to chat let me know. Take care.....

ARMYMOM - 1096 days ago.
My husband suffered from PTSD for months after he got back from Iraq in 2005.. I'm afraid to go through it again when he gets back in April from Afghanistan. This was his 3rd deployment and each time he comes back he's different. He's been talking about nightmares and sleep walking so I can only imagine how he'll be once he gets home. They're already antisipating his next deployment in 2010.. Ugh.. I really hate this lifestyle but he loves the army and won't get out.. so we've got 11 more years of this. He's wants to go SF.. blahhhhh

ermsmom - 1096 days ago.
Thanks BAMMOM! I'm going to try to take your advice.

BAMMOM - 1097 days ago.
My husband has PTSD and I would strongly recommend that you make him get out of the house with you. Even if its for an hour. Being patient helps during these trips. Being around other people will help him feel more 'human' and not just a soldier. It doesn't have to be anything major...dinner, walking in the park, going out for ice cream...just little things. My husband is in Iraq right now and all those little trips are memories he says he can hold onto. I also made sure that we had one on one time with each other. The game systems is just a coping mechanism, now you just have to get him to talk to you about anything he wants for an hour a day. My husband will tell me all about some weapons capabilities and I would nod and listen. I have no idea what the hell he said but having my attention for that moment ment a lot to him and having him not playing a video game met a lot to me. lol

babyofdeployment08 - 1098 days ago.
hiztootz- I spent the first 5 months of my pregnancy without my hubby. His deployment was 15 months and we concieved on R&R. I was glad he was there for the birth though. Luckily your hubby won't miss all the best parts of your pregnancy.

MILITARY~MOMMY - 1099 days ago.
hiztoots~ I was 7 wks when hubby left, and it was hard, but you will make it! We are strong women!

hiztootz - 1101 days ago.
I am married to a Marine. We have been married 1yr and 2 mos. He left for Iraq on Jan 11th and we just found out I am expecting. I am only about 4 weeks (so basically must have concieved a few days b4 he left lol) But anyways this is our First baby and first deployment. He is 23 and I am turning 21. I'm kinda scared to be going through the first 6 months without him and im kinda sad that he wont be here for it. He was very excited when I told him the news and even more excited that he will be back in time for the birth but still kinda sucks that he will be gone so most of it yea know? Anyone here stationed in Cherry point?

Pinkexecutioner - 1101 days ago.
My husband is due to start mobing in April. Hopefully he will still be in the US for his first child to be born! I met my husband in Iraq 2 years ago and I can't honestly say that I have a good man. I am very proud of him and I will do whatever I have to do to support him and all the soldiers, I am a soldier myself and I know what it feels like to have to leave your babies behind to serve your country. My children will understand when they get older. So, I get it from both ends, as the Army wife and soldier as well. Thank all you women for standing by your men! You have the hardest job in the world!

ermsmom - 1102 days ago.
Have any of you had to deal with a spouse who is suffering from PTSD? My husband is right now and it's beginning to be too much for me to handle. I want to be there for him but I feel like I'm dealing with a rebellious teenager in the house. He plays on his computer for hours each day, never spends time with his children or me, won't pick up after himself at all, and much, much more. I really feel myself going under from all of the stress. If any of you have had to deal with it I'd love to hear your coping strategies!

MILITARY~MOMMY - 1103 days ago.
I am going TDY for the first time since Evie was born 9 months ago... It is only 2 weeks, but I am freaking out about leaving her with her dad. It is not that he is a bad dad, but he is not me.... Any reassuring words?!

MILITARY~MOMMY - 1103 days ago.
I am going TDY for the first time since Evie was born 9 months ago... It is only 2 weeks, but I am freaking out about leaving her with her dad. It is not that he is a bad dad, but he is not me.... Any reassuring words?!

MaddoxAndAverysMama - 1106 days ago.
I have a 7week old and my husband has been in Army BCT for 9 days... oh boy..

MILITARY~MOMMY - 1107 days ago.
My husband does not cheat, nor do any of my friends husbands or the guys I work with... Now one of my friends cheats on her husband! So it does go both ways. I am active duty as well, and I can tell you being mil to mil appears to double the chances of divorce, but we are strong, we did not get married on a whim, and have been married 3 yrs in June. We have survived deployments, including during my pregnancy, TDYs, and being on shifts where we only see each other every other weekend. We are a family, and we make it work, just like any other family, it is harder for us, but it just makes us stronger. For anyone who's spouse is deployed, I would recomend 'The Little Box of I Love You'. It is a box of great heavy weight post cards saying, I Love You, in all sorts of cute imaginative ways... There are enough for one a week for a yr deployment, and can really up both of your morale... I loved them and bought another box just in case I can't find it for the next deployment.

sherrylong - 1107 days ago.
My Hubby is in National Guard. It seems he is gone all the time. He has had one tour to Iraq (he was gone for 15 months), he was deployed for the winter olympics(for a month), multiple floods, Hurrican Katrina, now he is in Missouri bootheel for the huge ice storm. He has also had another Iraq tour during Desert storm. He was regular army for 6 years and has been in National Guard for almost 18 years. Our baby is 5 weeks old and I hate that he had to go help everyone that has no electric in the midwest, but I understand, I just wish that he didnt' have to go. It is hard on the three year old who is asking constantly when is Daddy coming home.??? As for the cheating....I think that if a guy cheats while deployed he would have cheated if at home..eventually. Not all military men cheat. My prayers are with everyone of you wives and girlfriends that are pregnant and have small children that have to be away from your Husbands and boyfriends!!!!!

4thonitsway - 1107 days ago.
the loniness is nothing compared to the pride and love for him you feel. My DH left after wed been married for 2 years, 2 months after he joined the DEP program I became pregnant, he wasnt due to leave for boot camp for another 2 months, so he was only there for thru my 3rd month of pregnancy, (it was his first child, my 3rd btw) thx to boot camp, a school and an immediate deployment he was unable to come home until his daighter was 6 weeks old. I put ALOT of miles on the car thx to graduation and and liberty he was allowed, I drove to where he was, including florida at 36weeks along. If your hubby joins then I can tell you welcome to the hardest job in the military, but youll also make some of the best friends youve ever had