Separation Anxiety

How can I handle separation anxiety?

Sometime during the first year of life, your baby may begin to develop separation anxiety. The timeframe varies, and some children do not experience separation anxiety until the preschool years. Separation anxiety generally occurs when the parent leaves the child with a caregiver and the child becomes very upset. It is common for the child to cry, scream, kick, squeal and hold their arms out for the parent.

While separation anxiety is a normal part of growing up, it can be stressful for both the baby and the parents. Separation anxiety occurs because the child does not understand that the parent will be coming back to get them. A small child is not able to tell time and once the parent is out of their sight, they begin to get upset. Other reasons for separation anxiety can include a new baby in the home, a change in childcare, a separation or divorce in the parents or other stressful situations within the home. While the separation can be hard for the child, it can also be stressful for the parents. It is nice to know that your child will miss you and wants only you, but at the same time it is normal to feel like you can not leave. It is hard to leave a crying child.

The best thing to do in this kind of situation is to develop a sense of trust between the child, the caregiver and the parent. You want to reinforce to your child that they will be safe while in the caregiver's care and that you will be back to get them. Although it may be hard, it is best to make this time fairly brief. Take your child in, get them settled, tell them you will be back, hug them, kiss them and leave. While it can be very hard for a child to adapt to being left in the hands of another caregiver, usually the child will warm up to the caregiver as he gets to know her and begins to feel comfortable while you are away. One day you will show up to pick the child up and they will be having such a good time, they will not want to leave! Of course, if you have any doubts in your caregiver or the way they are caring for your child, you should always bring that to their attention.

Comments: Separation Anxiety

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Holly28 - 1518 days ago.
I am wondering if anyone else's LO is going through what DD and I are going through ATM. Lately DD appears to be having seperation anxiety. Now, my BA is partly in developmental psychology so I know she is supposed to go through this around now. However, I am concerned because it seems to me that hers is much more extreme than it should be. It has gotten to the point where she is literally in hysterics if I am out of arms reach (more than about 3 inches!) the majority of the day. I can't do anything without her freaking out (I am talking full on, red faced, holding her breath, huge tears, screaming at the top of her lungs, unable to function, hysterics-not just being upset or angry). Is anyone else going through this? It really is much more extreme than anything I have ever experienced in my work with kids or know of from my educational background. I don't know what to do. Everyday is worse then the last. HELP!