Babies Forum - Sex after childbirth
Sign up       Name or E-mail: Pw:
[Forgot Password]
Members

Now online
Member search
New members
Latest comments

Comment Spy
Forums
Week by week
Baby development
Latest photos

Pregnancy
Babies
Bellies
Ultrasound
Member pages
Latest Updates

Blogs & Questions
Updated profiles
Home » Pregnancy & Baby Forums » Sex after childbirth



Sex after childbirth

Sex after childbirth



When can my partner and I have sexual intercourse after the birth of our baby?

SEX AFTER CHILDBIRTH

After the birth of your baby, your body goes through a major transformation. Muscles that have never been used before now have been and you probably will feel sore. Most doctors advise that nothing be put into the vagina for approximately six weeks after the birth of a baby. Every woman is different and should rely upon their body's comfort level to tell them when they are ready. The general rule about sex after childbirth is that you can resume when you feel physically and emotionally ready.

Some doctors and medical professionals say that a woman is able to resume sexual relations whenever she is comfortable and as long as no infection is present. For most women that have had a vaginal delivery, their vagina and perineum will still be sore and having sex will be uncomfortable for atleast two weeks after the birth. This is especially true if the delivery was traumatic and the use of forceps, vacuum or other medical interventions were needed. For women that have had a cesarean section, the incision site will remain sore for several weeks as well. Two weeks after the birth of your baby, your uterus will have gone back down to the size it was when you were approximately three months pregnant. Four weeks after delivery, most women have healed back to normal and sex could already be comfortable. It is wise to wait until the lochia (the bleeding and discharge that occurs after delivery) has gone away. Most doctors advice to wait 6 weeks after birth.

Many couples continue to have sex throughout the entire nine months of pregnany and then their sex life is brought to a complete halt after the birth of the baby. Not only has your body been through an amazing transformation after the birth of your child, you now have a little person that depends on you for everything. You might not be able to enjoy sex with a crying baby in the room. For breastfeeding mothers, your natural lubrication may be decreased and sexual intercourse may actually cause your vagina to become raw or irritated. It is okay to use a lubricating jelly if needed. Many mothers also feel unattractive after the birth of their baby and their libido decreases. Exercising, eating well and taking care of your personal needs will help this feeling pass.

For the first few times of having sex postpartum, take it easy and avoid penetration if necessary. Use lubrication if necssary and let your partner know if you are experiencing any pain. Sometimes trying different positions can help ease the pain. If you notice a strange discharge, odor or swelling you should avoid sexual intercourse and contact your doctor to rule out a possible infection.

The fear of becoming pregnant again also keeps many couples from making love. Because babies can be born nine months apart, it is important to use some form of birth control if you do not wish to become pregnant right away. Breastfeeding is not a reliable form of birth control. If you are nursing, ask your caregiver about your birth control options.





Comments: Sex after childbirth

Comments 1 to 24 of about 43.
1 2 Next


minibub(pink) - 719 days ago.
i have a question, sorry for TMI but for two and a half years i havent wanted sex with my partner, My libido has completly gone although i do get horney i just cant seem to be interested in sex. I am breast feeding. I had a years break between breast feeding DS and falling pregnant but even during that time i didnt fancy sex. I have had sex about 3 times since my baby was born back in January (poor DH) I love him so much but i just cant find the sex drive. ANYONE else with the same kind of problem?

futuremommy11 - 1126 days ago.
SO & I had sex at 2w2d PP. It was AWESOME lol my dr. said to wait for the 6 week checkup to prevent pregnancy, but I could have sex when I felt ok to. I didnt tear or need an episiotomy during birth so i've been just fine since leaving the hospital......

kerryx0lee - 1275 days ago.
Hey ladies! question .. i had my son 3 weeks ago .. he was my third baby .. now, with my 1st two i was told i could resume sex/tampons in 6 weeks .. this time around my doctor said 3 weeks .. at the time i didnt think anything of it .. but afterwards i was a little confused .. anyone else have a doctor tell them 3 weeks??? i think it would be weird calling my doctor, 'hey you said sex in 3 weeks right?' LOL

bchbldgrl - 1417 days ago.
Hello ladies :) I have a question....I was not so smart earlier today (LOL) and my horny ass jumped on my DH for a quickie ;) I had my 2nd baby boy on 8.20 (2 wks ago) by C-Sec (my 2nd)...and this time I have FELT GREAT! Up & moving within 2 days of my surgery..straightening & playing with my 2yr old the 1st wk we came home. Now I know you're 'supposed' to wait 6wks to get busy but we were gentle & I got mine (hubby didn't want to finish cuz he's scared to get prego right away LOL)..I was on top so I controlled everything. Now about 8hrs later my tummy/scar area is a lil tender...is this normal after getting busy so soon? Any feedback would be great....I'm normally not such a dumbass ;) I just let go & went with it LOL xoxo

maggiek - 1429 days ago.
Hi escribo86, Eventually it should get better, sounds like you had a nasty tear. If things don't improve in the next few weeks I would definitely go back to the doctor and tell him/her about your concerns.. Maggie x

escribo86 - 1430 days ago.
I'm 8 weeks pp and I had a grade 2 tear from my vaginal delivery. When DH and I had sex last night, it was awful, the pain where my tear was, was excruciating. I'm still sore today from it and I'm wondering if this is normal. It's been 8 weeks since I delivered, should my tear still hurt? DH said that he felt more there like a nub, perhaps scar tissue. Will the pain go away or will the scar tissue always hurt, I'm so confused and I don't want it to hurt anymore.

PeapodMommy - 1584 days ago.
Okay...maybe I'm a wierdo, but when hubby and I do have sex (which isn't that much since our baby has been born) it feels fantastic. It felt good before, but now it is almost like things are more sensitive inside than they were before. Oh, and hubby thinks we should be doing it all the time since I say it feels fantastic, but sleep still feels SO much better!

Maijulie - 1625 days ago.
Hi ladies! It's been almost three months since my C-section and I'm also breastfeeding. My sex drive has gone down the drain. I don't feel horny at all and I feel so bad for my husband. Does breastfeeding has anything to do with it?

wishingpink - 1774 days ago.
lol okay figured it out

wishingpink - 1774 days ago.
how does this site worl???

Beautiful Bre - 1783 days ago.
jessipoo- before i got prego with my first one.. we use to be like twice a dayers too. and even during my pregnancy we still did it pretty often up until i delivered. after i had him it has been really hard for me to get back into it all. i mean i am about to have baby number two here. but the sex part has been a huge problem in mine and my husbands life. to me i guess i just use to always get scared of getting prego again or something i dont know!!

jessipoo - 1784 days ago.
hi everyone, i feel so miserable, my baby is 12 weeks old, and i have NO sex drive whatso ever, my partner is getting fed up becuz of this, but i just dont want sex! why? i know this is gross, but him n i used to be like rabbits lol, i used to be a 2 times a day girl lol, we havnt had sex since i was 7 months pregnant, i feel so crap about it, n i do love my partner but i find everything he does so annoying! why do i feel like this? i told him i think i may be a little depressed, n his remark was-wat have ugot to be depressed about? hes so insensitive, he thinks because i wanted a baby i shud b jumping from the walls in delight. maybe i shud be? wats wrong with me

1stpregnancy4me - 1878 days ago.
I am 6 wks pp and am ready to get my sex life back. Any suggestions on how to ease back into the swing of things?

snipdad - 1890 days ago.
HOW TO GET YOUR HUSBAND TO GET A VASECTOMY???? I am very curios to see who anyone out here has been successful to get their husband snipped! Please share any comments...thanks!

mrsdenney - 1910 days ago.
so i have had the same problems as a lot of you. first of all i do feel a lot more self conscious than i used to. my boobs have stretch marks and i have the not so attractive c section scar. i have actually gained 6 pounds since i gave birth (mind you i only gained 6 pounds during my pregnancy) so im at the heaviest weight in my life, stretch marks and just not attractive in my mind. i do also have the feeling that it kind of hurts to have sex. its not so much that it feels too tight but more like the tunnel isnt as long as it used to be....and trust me ladies my man hasnt grown lol. i asked my doctor about it and she said it may be actually from the lack of sex. since you have to wait for so long after a c section your body isnt really used to doing things like that anymore. also you can feel pulling along the incision from the muscles trying to go back to normal. so i am just going to try to get used to it or something. as for the not feeling attractive anymore the only thing i could come up with is sit down and have the talk with my husband. let him know how i felt. he was uncomfortable because he is quite reserved really, but i forced it on him. but he ended up saying yes your body is different, you had a child. then he said the sweetest thing which was i fell in love with you not just your body. and you could gain 200 pounds and i will still think you are sexy. i think he is right though. if your man loves you he will still find you attractive no matter what.

♥ ħhlЄy ▫ ßєär ®♥ - 1911 days ago.
♥ Hey everyone..jus wondering if anyone else is feeling uncomfortable with their partner after giving birth? i don't like the way my tummy looks:( at all! my breasts don't look or feel the same...i'm just feeling much older than I really am. Also..i'm not sure if the sex is still as enjoyable to him or if he's lying. i know its not 'loose' down there..but (sorry TMI!!) especially when it is verrry wet it jus doesn't feel the same..im so self conscious because i know it isn't as tight as before i had my 2 kids. i had an episiotomy with both..don't know if that makes a difference? well anyways...please comment and tell me if you're going thru this..♥

DulcianasMom - 1919 days ago.
iamjustmeforme - No, this is my second. So, i know things will be a little 'stretched' down there but i honestly feel too loose. And i have been trying to work on my kegel exersicses. I just hate doing those things! Pain in my butt:P I have my PP checkup on Thursday so i am anticipating how things will check out down there! Thanks for your comments:)

boady - 1919 days ago.
abbyquiet, what do you mean it's to tight? You said you had a c-section right? sorry i just don't understand what you mean. I've had both a c-section and natural and sex was ok, I had my sex drive back. Now I wasn't pregnant so soon after having a child so I can't speak about that. But I do recall I could care less for sex for the first 3 months of being pregnant which is normal but after that omg hormones all i wanted was sex. for you it could be a mix of taking care of a 16 month old and being pregnant that takes alot of energy taking care of a baby let alone being pregnant. But i would speak to your doctor if it's painful to have sex but if you don't have the sex drive I would say it's just your hormones like I said the first three months it's not uncommon to not have the sex drive.

abbyquiet - 1920 days ago.
hi everyone! my son is now 16 months old, and im nearly 9 weeks pregnant right now. i was wondering if anyone has had a c-section and are having problems with their sex drive. it's like the sex hurts becuase it's toooo tight, and just plain uncomfortable. none of it feels good to me. maybe someone could give me some advice, other than to just do it until it gets better. thank you. <3

Bri - 1920 days ago.
jamjustforme - Ok, so my son is almost 18 months. I didn't get my drive back until I started having sex. It hurt for several months. Recently, I decided that I wanted another child and therefore needed to fix things. We did a bunch of reading and what we found out is interesting. The less a women has sex the less she wants or needs it. We stop producing testerone and such that would feed our drive. My drive problem started in college. We were like bunnies, six times a day. He moved to Denver and I still hadn't graduated. We spent a year and a half as a long distance relationship so I was having sex only a couple times a year. From then on I started to lose the drive. So about two months ago I made it an effort just to have sex, whether I wanted to or not. Now our sex life is getting better. Last month we were haviing sex every other day. This last week we cooled off for a bit cause we were busy but I found myself wanting it. I guess we just need to force ourselves. Now, if I am pregnant then instead of just sleeping and such I want to continue to have sex throughout and then have hope of having it soon after birth.

anniemarie - 1921 days ago.
my son was born in nov so he's 5 months old. i had an episiotomy and hadn't had sex in over a year...and i had sex for the first time this past weekend. had it again the following morning and it hurt a little bit more. i was very worried about being 'loose' but i'm pretty sure that even if you don't get stitched up that your vaginal walls shrink back similar to how they were before you had your baby. it was def. not "loose" and i'm still a little sore now...

iamjustmeforme - 1921 days ago.
And I am so with those of you have that NO DRIVE!!! I know they say it is normal, but it feels weird to be young and just not interested at all! I look at my DH like 'are you kidding me?!?!' Wonder if it will ever come back??

iamjustmeforme - 1921 days ago.
DulcianasMom ~ Was this your first baby? 4 weeks PP with my first, my husband and I had sex. It was a bit painful...and I was so worried about how it would feel for him and if he would be honest about it. Things were quite tight!! I was totally shocked! I am now 6 weeks PP, we had sex a few nights ago and things seem to be tight...I am so glad!! But am wondering if its just swelling??? I am seeing the dr tuesday, hope she tells me I am not at all swollen, so I know this is how things will be! What was LO's weight? Do you do the kegal exercises??

DulcianasMom - 1921 days ago.
When did any of you start feeling 'tighter' again? My hubby and i have done it a few times and i am only 5 weeks post partum (yes i know, i should have waited a little longer) and it feels OK when we start, but towards the end, it just doesnt feel right....like its loose:( It makes me so freakin self concious! I asked my hubby if it felt weird or not good and he said that it was great....i think he just didnt want to hurt my feelings.

wannabmommy - 1936 days ago.
little blessing, i had an episiotmy and tore... my son is now 5 months and weve had sex... two times.. and last time we forgot the damn condom.. so now i wait and see if we made a new creation...


More comments:

1 2 Next

More sections:

All sections
Trying to conceive
Pregnancy & Birth
Birth defects
Babies


Leave a message
Become a member to be able to comment.
(Sign up)
It's all free, no email is required.
 

More forums:



-General::Babies
-General::Birth
-General::Pregnancy
-General::Rules
-General::Suggestions-for-this-site
-General::Toddlers
-General::Trying-to-conceive 33 new
A-first-look-at-baby
Abdominal-Pain-During-Pregnancy
Abortion
ADHD
Adoption
Advanced-age-and-pregnancy
Advanced-Aged-Parenting
Alcohol
Amniotic-Fluid
     Oligohydramnios
     Polyhydramnios
Anatomic-Ultrasound
Anemia
Apgar-Score
Arthritis
Assisted-Delivery
Assisted-Reproductive-Technology
Asthma
Autism Spectrum Disorders
Baby-care
     Bathing
     Burping
     Diapering
     Dressing
     Eyes-ears-and-nose
     Nail-trimming
     Oral-Care
     Penis-care
     Umbilical-Stump-Care
Baby-care-essentials
Baby-Cost-Calculator
Baby-Product-Reviews
     Baby-gates
     Bottles
     Bouncy-Seats
     Car-Seat
     Cribs-and-Bassinets
     Highchairs
     Monitors
     Pack-and-Play
     Strollers
     Swings
     Toys
Baby-Registry
Baby-Showers
     Games
Baby-Sign-Language
Babymoons
Babywearing
Back-Pain-During-Pregnancy
Basal-Body-Temperature
Bedrest
Before-getting-pregnant
Behaviors
Belly-Buttons
Birth-Control
Birth-defects-200-topics
Birth-Plans
Birthing-Options
Birthing-positions
Birthing-Rooms
Bleeding
Blended-Families
Blood-Pressure
     Eclampsia
     Low-Blood-Pressure
     Preeclampsia
Body-Map-of-Discomforts
Bottle-Feeding
Braxton-Hicks-contractions
Breast-Changes-During-Pregnancy
Breastfeeding
     Benefits
     Breast-Augmentation
     Breastmilk-storage
     Breastpumps
     Duration
     Exclusively-Pumping
     Letdown
     Low-Milk-Supply
     Menstruation
     Physical-effects-on-mom
     Reasons-for-stopping
     Spit-up
     Supplementing-with-formula
     Tandem-Nursing
     Thrush
     TTC
     Weaning
     What-to-Avoid
Breasts
Breech-Position
Bronchitis-and-Bronchiolitis
Caffeine
Car-seats
Carpal-Tunnel-Syndrome
Causes-of-Infertility
Cervical-Mucus
Cervix
Cesarean-Section-Delivery
Changes-after-delivery
Chickenpox-Varicella
Child-Care
Childbirth-Education
Children-and-pregnancy
Choosing-a-Healthcare-Provider
Choosing-a-Healthcare-Provider-for-Your-Baby
Choosing-Babies-Sex
     Chinese-Gender-Chart
     Gender-prediction-fun
Chromosomes
Chronic-Illness
Circumcision
Clogged-Milk-Ducts
Cloth-Diapers
Co-Sleeping
Colic
Common-Cold
Congratulations-on-Your-New-Baby
Constipation
Constipation-(Babies)
Contraception
     After-birth
     Emergency-Contraception
Contractions
Cord-Blood-Banking
Cradle-cap
Cramping
Cramping-of-the-Legs-During-Pregnancy
Cravings
Croup-Laryngotracheobronchitis
Cytomegalovirus-(CMV)
Dehydration
Depression-after-pregnancy
Depression-during-pregnancy
Diabetes-I-and-II
Diaper-rash
Diarrhea
Diastasis-Recti
Disability
Domestic-Abuse
Doula
Dreams
Drugs-of-Abuse
Drying-Up-Breastmilk
Due-Date
Dyspraxia
Ear-infection
Early-Symptoms-of-Pregnancy
Eating-Disorders
Eczema
Edema-During-Pregnancy
Effacement-and-Dilation
Elimination-Communication
Emergency-Home-Birth
Emotional-Changes
Endometriosis
Engorgement
Epilepsy
Episiotomy
Exercise-During-Pregnancy
External-Cephalic-Version
Failure-To-Thrive
Fainting
Family-Planning
Father-to-be
Fetal-Development
Fetal-Heart-Rate
Fetal-Kick-Count
Fetal-Movements
Fetal-Positions
Fevers
Fifth-Disease
First-Aid
First-Time-Mums-Q-and-A
Flat-Head-Syndrome
Food-allergies
Fundal-Height
Gallbladder
Genetic-Testing
GERD
Gestation
Gestational-Diabetes
Group-B-Streptococcus
Growth-Charts
     Boys
     Girls
Growth-spurts
Hair-Care
Hand-foot-mouth-Disease
Handling-Fetal-Abnormalities
HCG
Headache
Heartburn
HELLP-Syndrome
Hemorrhoids
Herbs-and-Vitamins
High-risk-pregnancy
Home-Birth
Hormonal-Changes-During-Pregnancy
Hospital-stay
Hyperemesis-Gravidarum
Impetigo
Implantation-Bleeding
In-Vitro-Fertilization
Incompetent-Cervix
Incontinence
     Kegel-Exercises
Induced-Labor
Inexpensive-Maternity-Clothing
Infant-acne
Infertility
     Drugs
     Men
     Treatments
     Women
Intracytoplasmic-Sperm-Injection
Intrahepatic-Cholestasis-of-Pregnancy
Intrauterine-Growth-Restriction
Intrauterine-Insemination
Irritable-Uterus
Jaundice
Just-For-Laughs
Labor-Coach
Labor-Pain
Labor-Signs
Language-Development
Large-Families
Leg-Cramps
Lice
Lightening
Listeria
Losing-Pregnancy-Pounds
Lyme-Disease
Maternity-Clothes
Measels
Mentally-Preparing-for-Labor
Methods-of-Induction
Midwifes
Military-Families
Missed-Period-FAQ
Moodswings
Morning-Sickness
Mothers-in-law
MTHFR
Mucus-Plug
Multiples
Mumps
Myths-And-Facts-(Pregnancy)
Naming-Your-Baby
Natural-Childbirth
Natural-cures
Natural-Induction
Nesting
NICU
Nutrition-and-Appetite-Changes
Old-Wives-Tales
Ovulation-Predictor-Kits
Packing-for-the-Hospital
Pain-relief-for-birth
Pap-Test
Pelvic-Pain-During-Pregnancy
Pertussis-whooping-cough
Pets-and-Infants
Pink-Eye-Conjunctivitis
Placenta
     Placenta-Accreta
     Placenta-Previa
     Placental-Abruption
     Retained-Placenta
Plus-size
Pneumonia
Polycystic-Ovarian-Synrome-(PCOS)
Postpartum-Body-Changes
Postpartum-Week-One
Postpartum-Week-Two
Potty-Training
Pregnancy-After-Loss
Pregnancy-After-Weight-Loss-Surgery
Pregnancy-Glow
Pregnancy-Loss
     Blighted-Ovum
     D-and-C
     Ectopic-pregnancy
     Miscarriage
     Miscarriage-Stories
     Molar-Pregnancy
     Stillbirth
Pregnancy-Signs-and-Symptoms
Pregnancy-tests
     Pregnancy-Test-Troubleshooting
Pregnancy-Wheel
Premature-Baby
Premature-baby-story
Premature-Labor
Prenatal-Appointments
Prenatal-Massage
Prenatal-Visits
Prenatal-Vitamins
Preparing-For-Your-Hospital-Stay
Preterm-Labor
Prior-to-Becoming-Pregnant
Progesterone-Levels
PUPPP
Recalls
Recipes
Recipes-(babies-and-toddlers)
Recovery-After-Childbirth
Rh-Factor
Ringworm
Roseola
Rotavirus
Round-Ligament-Syndrome
RSV
Runny-nose
Rupture-of-the-Membranes
Safety-During-Pregnancy
Scarlet-fever
Sciatica
Separation-Anxiety
Sex-after-childbirth
Sexually-Transmitted-Diseases
Shopping-for-Baby-Products
Signs-of-Labor 1 new
Single-Parenting
Skin-Changes
Sleep
     Newborns
     Sudden-Infant-Death-Syndrome
Sleep-Apnea
Sleep-Disturbances-During-Pregnancy
Solid-Foods
     Finger-Foods
     Making-Homemade-Baby-Food
Sore-throat
Spotting
     First-trimester
     Second-trimester
     Third-trimester
Spreading-the-News
Stretch-Marks
Surrogacy
Swelling-(Edema)-in-Pregnancy
Symphysis-Pubis-Dysfunction-(SPD)
Teen-Pregnancy
Teenage-Parenting
Teeth-Care-(Children)
Teeth-care-(Pregnancy)
Teething
Telling-Loved-Ones-You-Are-Pregnant
Tests-before-pregnancy
     Bacterial-Vaginosis-Screen
     Blood-Type-and-Antibody-Screen
     Chicken-pox
     Cystic-Fibrosis-Carrier-Screening
     German-Measles
     Gonorrhea,-Chlamydia,-Syphilis
     Hemoglobin
     Hepatitis-B-Screening
     HIV
     Ovulation-Predictor-Test
     Pap-Test
     Urine-Screening
Tests-during-pregnancy
     AFP-screening-test
     Amniocentesis
     Biophysical-Profile-(BPP)
     Blood-Glucose
     Chorionic-Villi-Sampling-(CVS)
     Contraction-stress-test
     Fetal-Fibronectin-Test-(fFN)
     Group-B-Streptococcus
     Non-stress-test
     Nuchal-Translucency-Screening
     Prenatal-Paternity-Testing
     PUBS
Tetanus
Thrombophilia
Tips-On-How-To-Get-Pregnant
Tips-To-Avoid-Pregnancy
Tobacco
     Smoking-Cessation
Toxoplasmosis
Travel-during-pregnancy
     Seatbelts
Traveling-With-Children
Treating-your-child`s-symptoms
Trisomy
TTC-After-Loss
TTC-After-Tubal-Ligation-Reversal
TTC-Dealing-with-Infertility
Tubal-Ligation
Tummy-time
Twins
     Complications
     During-twin-pregnancy
     Establishing-routines
     Fraternal
     Identical
     Nursing-twins
     Twin-delivery
     Video
Ultrasound
Unassisted-Childbirth
Urinary-Tract-Infection
Urination
Uterine-Fibroids
Vaccinations
     a)-Birth-2-Months
     b)-4-Months
     c)-6-Months
     d)-12-Months
     e)-18-Months-2-Years
     f)-4-6-Years
Vaginal-Delivery
     Vaginal-birth-after-cesarean
Vaginal-Discharge
Varicose-veins
Vasectomy
Vegetarian-Diet
Ventriculomegaly
Vomiting-(Babies)
Warts
Water-Birth
Weight-Gain
Weight-of-your-child
Whats-Safe-and-Unsafe
     Beauty-and-Spa-Safety
     Career
     Fitness
     Foods
     Home
     Medical
     Medications
     Sex
     Sleep
Working-Mothers
Ovulation-Calendar

All sections
Trying to conceive
Pregnancy & Birth
Birth defects
Babies