Father to be

A hero in the making!

Father-To-Be
Fathers today share the joys of pregnancy, childbirth and childrearing. However, they also share the worries and challenges that come with starting a family.

`A Man`s Guide to Pregnancy`
How to live with a pregnant person and get out of it alive.

How You May Feel

Left Out- All of the attention is focused on your partner and you may feel like you have no part in it. You can overcome this by getting involved in as much as possible. Go to the doctor with your partner, attend classes, shop for baby and really try to tune in to the pregnancy that is a shared joy.
Fear of Sex-Making love during pregnancy is generally just as safe as before pregnancy. Intimacy can maintain a healthy relationship with you and your partner and can give her a sense of security and emotional/physical closeness.
Sympathy symptoms- Some expectant fathers do experience symptoms right along with their partner. Your symptoms could also indicate sickness-so don't overlook them if you feel sick.
Impatience- Your partner has mood swings, periods of pains and full of complaints from time to time. Try to keep in mind that pregnancy is not a permanent condition and that the changes will pass.
Anxiety- You may feel anxious over the baby's health, your partner's health and impending life changes. It is normal to be anxious over the unexpected. Try to prepare the best you can for all of the upcoming situations. Attend the prenatal visits often and ask questions. Being informed should take alot of worry off of your mind.
Unsure of your partner's new looks- You may be worried or concerned about the weight that your partner is putting on. Just remember that a healthy baby needs nutrition. In order to receive that nutrition, your partner must gain a healthy amount of weight. Be supportive and encouraging in what she eats. Exercise with your partner and accentuate the positive.
Fear of the upcoming labor- You are not alone! Very few fathers go into the labor room without some type of fear. Attend childbirth classes, so that you know what to expect and can be better prepared.

Ways to Feel Included

Attend prenatal appointments
Attend childbirth classes
Shop together for baby essentials
Feel your partner's abdomen when the baby is moving
Help decorate the nursery

Ways to Help Your Partner

Offer to help more around the house
Offer to run errands
Suggest some alone time
Frequent massages for sore muscles
Alter your work schedule if possible in the end
Be available for support

Comments: Father to be

Comments 51 to 68 of about 68.
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babynguyen2 - 333 days ago.
When I was five months preggo I had to cut off my wedding band and engagement ring due to swelling in my hands. Well this month I won a bet and got my engagement ring fixed, well for Christmas DH got me a new wedding band! I love him so much and it was so sweet of him! I feel like a married woman again. DH is the best and I couldn't ask for better!

finkleberry - 353 days ago.
mrsdenny, speak up hun. This is your baby, no one can fault you for putting your foot down. Yeh, they might get offended, tough titties to them. No need to be rude, but be assertive. I'm sure dad doesn't mean to seem uninterested in the new baby. Just talk to him about your feelings, he probably doesn't even realize he's doing it. I'm sure he love both his children equally, but taking a sick child into NICU is not very smart.

stargazer530 - 353 days ago.
Wow mrsdenny - that's ridiculous! I understand grandparents want to be a part of the baby's life (well, I don't understand the whole overbearing, always there grandparent - they had their kids, let us have ours), but you would think your husband especially, or even his mother would get that your son is in a fragile condition still and you want to have your alone time with him. Any one should be able to understand that! And the whole bringing a 5 year old, even if she isn't sick, a 5 yr old really isn't old enough to understand what's going on and how she needs to behave in the hospital, not to mention what is he thinking saying it's okay to bring a child with strep into the NICU? Even if he thinks it's okay for his child to be exposed to that, what about the other children in NICU? I am sure there are some more fragile than your little one. Sorry you're having to deal with this. You should be able to have time to enjoy with your little one. I don't think men can understand the bond formed between you and the baby when they are inside you and you are so connected to them and feel them moving around all day.

mrsdenney - 354 days ago.
ok i need to vent a little bit. my husband has an overbearing mother and a daughter from a previous marriage. our son is currently in the NICU due to him being born at 30 weeks. i love my MIL and my step daughter so much. but my DH doesnt understand. when we visit the baby in the NICU and he brings them i am constantly telling my step daughter to behave (she is 5) and passing my baby to his mother. i want to be able to relax and bond with my baby, plus the little one being in kindergarten she is sick all the time. she currently has strep. he thought it would be ok to have her go with us even though yesterday she had a fever of 102. on top of it all he has already started buying christmas for her and every time he goes to the store he buys her something. he has not done one thing for our son. everything we have i bought before i had to quit working or my mother has bought. he says he has to baby his daughter because he doesnt want her to think he loves the new baby more. i way how is that possible when you arent acting like you love your new baby at all. she has clothes. she has food. and yet our son has about a week's worth of food clothing and diapers (at most) and you arent concerned. we had a lot of issues during the pregnancy and no matter how bad he treated me....it doesnt compare to acting like this baby doesnt exist. this baby, my son is the light of my life. he is a miracle. he is the most amazing human being i have ever seen. and his daddy acts like he doesnt exist. it hurts.............

finkleberry - 356 days ago.
I made him watch some videos on youtube with the hypno birthing and I kept commenting how lucky the ladies were to have such supportive partners (there are some nice waterbirth videos on there) Hopefully it made him feel like a dooch for being so silly. We met with the midwife today and he's starting to come around a bit more. I think he's just scared of the whole birth process and would rather the baby just came via stork delivery lol

lucy01 - 356 days ago.
finkleberry - im soo sorry to hear about ur man im glad mine leaves me to decide on what i would prefer .. males arnt perfect and him giving nasty comments ... glad u banned him from the birth but would it maybe affect him more if he wasnt there later on?

completnme - 356 days ago.
Man in the begining my husband was getting on my last nerve!and he still does,but that nerve rackin' man is soo good to our kids and me,that he is jus' my black superman,I love him so much,even when I can't stand the site of him,lol

izziebo - 356 days ago.
my baby is 3 months old and im still waiting for andy to be a bit more supportive hahaa only joking

newcitynewmom - 356 days ago.
lucy - I'm 20 weeks and my husband is very supportive, but he seemed to finally get that there is a baby growing in my belly yesterday. Until now, it's been sort of surreal. Maybe yours has the same problem. Once you grow bigger and he can feel the baby move, he may be more conscious of the fact that it isn't just him anymore.

finkleberry - 357 days ago.
Ok I officially have THE most un-supportive partner ever. We've just had the umteenth argument about the birth. I wanted to have a drug free home water birth. He wanted me to have a hospital birth. After lots of fights he's accepted that's what I'm having although he still hasn't said anything positive about it. We didn't discuss arrangements any further but now that the date is getting close I mentioned that I would like to try hypno birthing and without even knowing what it is he started making snide nasty comments. He said it will screw with my brain. When I told him it was just meditation he said it sounds like Scientology and he doesn't want to have some weird hippy baby. So I've banned him from being at the birth. I would rather do it by my strong self then have some one bring me down with negativity.

lucy01 - 357 days ago.
reading through the good posts here i wish my partner was like that ... he works constantly.. and now wants to join the navy.. maybe i am overreacting but i dont think thats a good idea he will be away fro 3-6 months at a time.... i dont want to be alone with this child .. its something that he has to help out with right???? Has anyone else had there partner not really believe that the baby is real .. he ahs gone to ultrasounds and everything im 13 weeks and he is calm and seems like he doesnt care help

victoriassecret143 - 374 days ago.
I just wanted to say how wonderful my husband has been throughout this incredible journey. Throughout my pregnancy he was always rubbing my belly and talking to her. Kissing and caressing. Now that our little Victoria is here, and 3 months old, its almost like its just unreal. Everytime we look at her it brings tears to our eyes. When I look at him staring at her, it just melts my heart. Knowing that he will do ANYTHING in his power to keep her and I smiling and happy is everything I ever wanted in a Man!!!! God has definetly blessed me.

b4dawn - 374 days ago.
Just want to give a shout out to my wonderful fiance and daddy-to-be. I felt so awful yesterday I ended up not going to work - and I never do that! When Steve got home from work he fixed me dinner and then ran me a bubble bath to relax in. He even brought the CD player in and put on some of my favorite music for me. I didn't ask him to do any of this, he just did it. I couldn't ask for a more amazing partner to go through this with :)

akachan - 375 days ago.
orion-utopia, I know you are getting sick and tired of your broke partner and his latest ideas, but as a Tokyo resident, I think a move to the capital would be a good idea for your family, as there are plenty of jobs and support for mothers here, single or otherwise. I think there will be more chances for you and your children here. I love Kansai and was hesitant to move as well, but it is much better. Also, your partner can sell his car and will have some extra money, as you don't need a car here.

Co4 - 375 days ago.
I can't stop rubbing my belly. lol Neither can my boyfriend... I swear he is always kissing and rubbing my stomach. He's ready for my stomach to get bigger {{im 26 weeks}}. Sometimes he seems nonchanlant about the baby, but i guess he expresses it differently. I was suppose to find out what i was having, but the baby was shy so we checking again on Dec 5th. The only thing selfish he has said was he didnt want me to breastfeed, because these are his breast. Also he kinda obcessing over my butt, cuz it's getting bigger. He's such an asz man. lol

HappyForest - 379 days ago.
wow 18 ur bf is being an ass!! as if you dont already feel bad enough... if he is still not wanting his child and you are this far along...maybe you should think about what his intentions are with your relationship. can he even handle a family? he should be supporting you and making you feel good and appreciating that you are having his child!! you deserve to feel awesome right now, not bad. im so sorry u are having to deal with this right now...

Mommyat19 - 379 days ago.
Today I was talking to my bf about how I dont want him to get me pregnant again anytime soon. He said if I were to get pregnant again, I would have to get an abortion. I was telling him how my back hurts & I just want to have the baby already & he said 'well if you've got an abortion in the beginning then you would be 18yrs old & pregnant.' in the beginning he & everyone else wanted me to get an abortion but I thought he was okay with the pregnancy now. I'm 9months prego due anyday now & he brings up abortion. That hurt my feelings so much, I almost cried. I guess he still regrets me keeping my child. If I were to get pregnant again, I wouldnt get an abortion or give it up for adoption, its not fair to keep one child but give the other away...I prob just wont have sex w/him at all. I dont think he's ready for our baby & that scares me. Sorry just had to vent.

lyndsay2619 - 383 days ago.
I just wanted to post a message about my husband. He has been so great throughout this pregnancy, and it is just so exciting to see him as anxious and excited as I am. He said the sweetest thing to me the other day that just made me feel great...he said, you know I was just thinking how amazing you are...here you are 33 weeks along, still working full time, helping around the house, doing all that you do with hardly any complaints, all I know is I could never do what you do!...And if he sees me in any sort of pain or discomfort, he is the first to try to help ease any pain! What a guy!!! I also think he's one of very few in my child birth class that actually listens and tries to do what the instructor (labor nurse) asks the men to do! I'm so grateful for all that he does!