Just For Laughs

What's so funny?

Comments: Just For Laughs

Comments 26 to 41 of about 41.
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vero-prego209 - 1578 days ago.
During my pregnancy ive had some odd craving. I have been wanting to smell and eat vicks,dryer sheets and dryer lint. I haven't ate any of it but i been smelling em like crazy! lol I even made a sock stuffed with dryer sheets and i keep it close to my bed. Before i was pregnant dryer sheets use to irritate my nose. And same wit dryer lint but now i find myself wanting to stuff it in my mouth lol! And as for the vicks, aw man i been sick lately so even more of an excuse to smear it all over my nose LOL XD (I feel like a nut, i hope thats not considering getting high cause i don't do that lol)

stephandisaac - 1591 days ago.
So, I was pregnant with my first boy and my bf and I were talking about ,when we leave the house, where to keep his dog crated.We had a very small apartment. He said we could put it in the baby room since there was more room in there. I said ' NO WAY ! Your dog barks like crazy when he's in there. He'll wake the baby up' He said ' What, are the dogs going to babysit when we leave ? ' I felt like such a dumb ass !!!

Bek 30 - 1597 days ago.
When my son was about 4 ( his 9 now), hubby went out in my car to my parents place, andway my son woke up hungry and their was nothing in the pantry, so I told him ' we will just nip down the shop and buy some bread', thats when I noticed I left my wallet in my car, so I jumped in hubbies car to go to mums to get my wallet, and I was pulled over for doing 7kms over the speed limit, as soon as the policeman walkd up to my door, my son started yelling ' Help Help, my mummy is trying to kill me, she won't feed me, she is making me starve'...I felt so small, I had to explain what happened, the cop was so sympathetic toward me, but needless to say he still charged me with speeding, but he let me off on a warning for not having my licence.... I guess he took pity on me!!....lol.

4thonitsway - 1597 days ago.
back before I became pregnant with my youngest I was late for AF one day and a friend gave me what she thought was a pregnancy test. I took it and when 2 lines popped up I began to freak. I went to the store to get another test and retest and I noticed none of the test looked like the one I had just taken, So I began to look around, turns out Id had taken a fertility test and was apparently fertile at that time

lisey-n-brees-mommy - 1615 days ago.
so y-day i had my doc's app. and ultrasound my 3 year old daughter kept telling her gammey 'we are at the hospital.' my mom told her 'No sweetheart we are at the doctor for mommy' she in turn started crying and started to say very loudly 'i dont wanna bring the new baby home!' needless to say i was slightly mortified but the humor of the situation was not lost.

caraj - 1616 days ago.
when i first found out i was pregnant i told everyone then had to tell my 9yr old sister. i sat her down and said guess what i'm having a baby she cried, i said why are you crying she told me ' doesnt that mean you have to have a caesarian i dont want you to have one of those' i asked do you know what that is and she said no but doesn't it hurt i laughed. my mum thought it was pretty funny =)

mommy-jazz15 - 1617 days ago.
okay, so i dressed up because we were going somewhere, and i came out of the bathroom with my make-up on and the best clothes i can fit in to. and my step-dad just got home from work and seen me. he said, 'Jazzy, you look really good today.' and i started crying and i screamed back, 'DONT I LOOK GOOD EVERYDAY?!' haha!! after 10 minutes of crying i finally realized it wasnt even close to something i should be crying about l0l. and on top of that, i completely messed up my make-up lol. he felt really bad tho.

supermompj - 1618 days ago.
So I just found out the sex of the baby on Friday. We have three girls at home and as you can imagine dad and the girls are hoping for a brother. On the way to school that morning I asked one final time for their final guess they both (9 and 5) guessed boy. Then the 5 year old says “Mom if it’s a girl it can just stay in your belly! I don’t care if you stay fat.) good thing it’s a boy and I can actually follow thru with the delievery!

mandarae - 1621 days ago.
Too cute smurf! My girls are not scooting yet but I had Karissa in the bath with me one night (they are 15 wks old) and was cradling her to get her washed. I leaned over to get the baby wash and dangled my milk maker right in her face, but not close enough to reach. She looked like a tiny bird waiting to be fed - lol I laughed SO hard, that mouth was going and going - her little neck trying to get her face closer and I am sure she was wishing she had some go-go-gadget lips!!

mumuk - 1622 days ago.
lmao smurf

smurfwxmama - 1623 days ago.
Ok true story...was trying to get my son to start scooting the other morning. We were laying in bed, he had just eaten(I breastfeed) so I figured it was a great time, he was happy, playing, talking so I put him down and laid down next to him but enough ahead of him to give him the idea he had to move...so he looks at me, looks at my chest and I could see him thinking...I want that, I'm going for it....so he scoots up a bit, reachs with his hand, grabs(and I mean GRABS) my boob and shoves it in his mouth and stops moving!!! I laughed so hard he lost his latch and looked at me like I had 2 heads!! Guess I'll have to try and get him to move outside of bed!!

chloemamma - 1645 days ago.
I'm 28 weeks along with a third boy, and my oldest son (who is almost five) and I were watching the Today show, this week. They had a segment about a woman who had sextuplets (that's six, right?) who were just turning 18 months. My son goes, 'Mom, I have a question about sex. Did that woman and her husband have sex six time all at once, to get six babies?' I tried to explain twins and triplets and the egg splitting and all that, but didn't get into IVF, just because I thought it would confuse him even more... he looked at my belly, looked me in the eyes, and said, very sincerely, 'You should try that. I still want a sister.'

jessilyn02184 - 1645 days ago.
when i was in labor with my youngest daughter my oldest was 5 and we decided to let her in the room, we thought i would help with the whole being left out thing. Well while the doctor was checking my progress, my daughter was up by my head of course and could only see his hands going down there, she looks up and gets all serious and asked him if he was giving me a wedgie.lol everyone in the room about died. she was so serious.

Bek 30 - 1656 days ago.
SAMBA: TY so much, u had my family in stitches.

4thonitsway - 1656 days ago.
ok this ones a bit long but completely true. During my first pregnancy, I lived out in the country. Next door my neighbors had a horse and a longhorn in a pen. Now when i was about 7 1/2 months along I was at the fence line feeding the nieghbors kittens, my house was about a block and a half from my the fenceline. As I was feeding the kittens I glanced up and noticed the longhorn was out of its pen. It looked at me, then took off down its driveway, up the gravel road and up my driveway towards me. Lucky for me the fence I was standing at hung loosely so I grabbed the barbed wire in my hands and hopped over. this just made the longhorn mad. he went back down my driveway, down the road and back up his driveway to me, so I hopped the fence a second time. As he turned togo down his driveway again I bolted for my house. Rand the distance, up he step and into the house and stood there panting. Reminded me of a scene in The Great outdoors with John Candy lol. My sis in law came running in scared I was in labor. After I explained what happenedshe diedd laughing wishing she coulda seen one huge pregnant woman hopin a fence then running like hell

samba - 1664 days ago.
Test 1 Women: To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there for 9 months. After 9 months remove 10% of the beans. Men: To prepare for paternity, go to local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket and arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. Go home, pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time. Test 2 Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers. Test 3 To discover how the nights will feel: 1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4-6kg, with a radio tuned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. 2. At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep. 3. Get up at 12pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1 am. 4. Set the alarm for 3am. 5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea. 6. Go to bed at 2.45am. 7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. 8. Sing songs in the dark until 4 am. 9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off. 10. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful. Test 4 Dressing small children. 1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag. 2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out. 3. Time allowed for this - all morning. Test 5 Forget the BMW. Buy a Volvo/people carrier, etc 1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. 2. Leave it there. 3. Get a coin, insert it into the CD player then remove it with a lump hammer 4. Take a family size pack of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat. 5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. Test 6 Get ready to go out. 1. Plan to got out at 1pm but wait until 1:15 to get ready. 2. Go out the front door. 3. Come in again. 4. Go out. 5. Come back in. 6. Go out again. 7. Walk down the front path/driveway. 8. Walk back up it. 9. Walk down it again. 10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes. 11. Stop, and answer at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. 12. Retrace your steps. 13. Scream until the neighbours come out and stare at you. 14. Give up and go back into the house. 15. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk. Test 7 Repeat everything, and we mean everything you say at least 5 times. Repeat everything, and we mean everything you say at least 5 times. Repeat everything, and we mean everything you say at least 5 times. Repeat everything, and we mean everything you say at least 5 times. Repeat everything, and we mean everything you say at least 5 times. Test 8 Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. A full-grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children. Test 9 1. Hollow out a melon. 2. Make a small hole in the side. 3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. 4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane. 5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone. 6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor. 7. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old child. Test 10 Learn the names of every character from Thomas the Tank Engine, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney, and all the songs of the Wiggles and Tweenies. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years. Test 11 Can you stand the mess children make? To find out: 1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains. 2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. 3. Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls. 4. Cover the stains with crayon. 5. How does that look? Test 12 Make a recording of a high-pitched voice shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important: No more than a four second delay between each 'Mummy' - occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler. Test 13 Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continuously tug on your skirt hem/shirt sleeve/elbow while playing the 'Mummy' Tape made from Test 12 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room. Test 14 Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting. Now: 1. Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it. 2. Stir. 3. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt. 4. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture. 5. Attempt to clean your shirt with the saturated towel. 6. Do NOT change. You have no time. 7. Go directly to work. Test 15 Go for a drive, but first... 1. Find one large tomcat and six pit bulls. 2. Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car. 3. Put the pit bulls in the front seat of your car. 4. While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat. 5. For the really adventurous...... Run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop. If you can pass all 15 tests you are now ready to have kids