Mothers in law

What is your relationship like with your mother-in-law?

Comments: Mothers in law

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happymedium - 95 days ago.
I cannot even post my vent here because it is lengthy and I don't need to get my bp up high. Let's just say, she isn't allowed in my room after the baby is born and she is not allowed at my home either. Haven't spoken to her in 3 months and I feel pretty good about it. She is an ass and simply needs to suffer a bit until she apologizes to me for gutting me so badly. Makes me sick.

Dulcianasmom - 140 days ago.
people dont post that often on here but i gotta put this one in...i am 38weeks pregnant and she wanted to stop by to see the kids. ok, sounds good..she doesn't bother us too much and never really stays that long. She favors boys and since we have girls, she's just not that interested. Now, i do love the woman, she has a big heart but literally no brains and at times can be dumber than dirt. So she comes inthe house, hugs & kisses to the kids and to her son. She sits with our youngest whos finishing up her dinner and she starts talking about how she was violently ill the night before...WTF!?!? I was doing dishes and literally stopped, turned off the water and faced her and said, 'Why did you come over here then!?' She seemed hurt and said she thinks it was something she ate. Ummm...HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW!?! So, my husband gets wind of this conversation and he tells her she has to leave. I tried to be nice about it (he's not so nice) and just said that in this stage of my pregnancy, if i came down with any sort of gastro virus, that could be dangerous for me and the baby. She seemed put off, puttered around for a bit (trying to see if we'd let her stay) but eventually left. I swear, sometimes she can be so dense!!! UGH!

escribo86 - 182 days ago.
I feel bad about my MIL. We are both trying to get along we just do it at different times. Like she showed up at my house unannounced and the house was wrecked and I was in jammies without a bra flopping around lol. So naturally I was pissy with her and annoyed that she would just show up like that. And she got a new nook and was trying to show it to me and after she left I looked at DH and was like, 'ugh I'm so annoyed' and he was like, she was trying to bond with you. She got something new and wanted to show you and maybe it would have sparked a convo between you too.' and then maybe a month later I felt bad so I offered for her to watch our daughter and have some grammy time and I thought I would get home before DH and then her and I could have some alone time to force some sort of bonding convo but of course she was annoyed by the nook thing and she chose to go out with a boyfriend instead of babysit. And then I got mad because she's frustrated at me so she loses out on her grandchild. ugh. She's not a bad person and she generally has good intentions. She's just socially awkward (me too a little) and we just don't have the right timing.

escribo86 - 182 days ago.
Wow...Amen v.moore! I don't blame you one bit!

v.moore21377@yahoo.com - 250 days ago.
I am so glad I found this forum to rant on. Let me tell you about my loser in-laws. DH and I currently reside at my deceased MIL's home bequethed to my SIL in the will. At the present time we also share the residence with two deadbeat, freeloading BIL's, one in the guesthouse in the backyard and the other in a spare bedroom. BIL no. 1 is a 53 yr old unemployed alcoholic who is also a thief that will steal anything not nailed down. Although he lives in the back, he still comes in and out of the main house as if he lives here, using the kitchen and bathroom and always leaving a wreck behind him for me to clean up. He claims he is disabled which he most certainly is not and can't get a job. He thinks this property is party central and the backyard has become the hangout for the neighborhood thugs. He drinks day and night supporting his habit by selling foodstamps and mooching money off any idiot who will give it to him. I am ashamed to say one of those idiots is DH who is overcompassionate and gullible. He has never contributed one penny to this house but consumes electricity, gas, cable, food and toiletries like it's going out of style. Who pays for this life of luxury? DH and I as we have no choice. As long as we need electricity and have it so will this bum. Deadbeat BIL no. 2 is not much better. He proports to be a good Christian person yet he runs up the cable bill to the tune of 400 dollars on pornography. Of course he does not have the money to pay all of it and we end up footing most of the bill. He is supposed to pay one half of all household bills but he always runs short because he only works 4 hrs per day 4 days per week at a local fast food joint. He claims to feel remorseful about us paying his way however instead of looking for a better job, he sleeps until 4 pm everyday. Last month we had the sheriff knock on the door and serve us foreclosure papers for back taxes owing since 2006. It appears SIL has neglected to pay or even tell anyone about this for years. The attorneys required 1200 up front and 400 per month after that to stop proceedings. Does anyone have the money to pitch in for this? Nope. SIL cries and lays guilt trip on DH about their mom crying in heaven cuz they were about to lose the house and begs him to come up with the money. So we work 30 hour days combined 6 days per week and pay it even though it was in our best interest to just move out. As a result of this financial blow we had our gas and cable disconnected and are now a month behind on vehicle payments and phone service. This little favor for this mooching group landed us in dire straits with our first baby due next month. Nobody has paid us back a dime so far and instead of a thank you or even a bit of empathy, SIL allows her fresh out of jail, unemployed nephew to take one of the rental rooms in the backyard rent free, utility free on our dime. She apparently doesn't feel the need to consult us since this is HER house even though she has never given one red cent to maintain or help with upkeep which has also been costly to us. But it gets better. Today I find out thru the grapevine that she wants to offer the 3rd and final rental room to a down and out co-worker also rent and utility free on our dime. Over my dead body lady. Here we are flat broke trying to pay all the bills, back taxes, put food on the table for a new family member and float these freeloaders and she expects us to take on another stray? Is she for real? I really can't believe we went thru all this to save her ass and she turns around and screws us. I have decided it's best for DH and I to move out sooner rather than later and close the bank. I can't wait to see the look on their faces when they find out we will not be paying the rest of the tax money after all and the house gets taken. Not our problem people. W have to do what's best for our son and this situation is unhealthy for him. So bye bye users, enjoy the homeless shelter. This sorry group needs a nomination and trophy for worst family ever!

hunnybunnysmama - 309 days ago.
I just need to vent about my BIL - he's related to my MIL so it's almost the same, right? My MIL is another story but she stays away, thank god. I had posted a poll earlier. Of course it wasn't really a poll but I realized how much better I felt once I got this off my chest. He is a terrible parent and I cringe when he speaks to my DD. He is bossy, purposely tries to humiliate my DD and his own kids, micro-manages their every move and makes endless, ridiculous, empty threats... he does have a good bone in his body it just doesn't come out very ofter. Now that he's broken up with his GF he is at our house more & more. His DD's are pretty naughty and sassy. My DD is learning there horrible traits. I work on Saturday's and I come home after an 11 hour day (mind you, I am 14 weeks pregnant) to 3 screaming little girls, a trashed house (his girls are SO messy! - my DD picks up after she's played with something before moving on to the next). Also my older niece is destructive. She purposely breaks toys and then lies about it. EVERYTIME they come over, she breaks something. My DD came to me crying because Sienna was telling her to 'go break your mommy's phone'. Anyways, I'm done venting for now. My DD is begging for attention of course.

sanner5955 - 313 days ago.
Two years and two months since we have had any contact with MIL, sooooo great!

nicole8 - 331 days ago.
My MIL lives about 2.5 hours away from us. She is like Santa Claus. She comes to visit on some bithdays and Christmas and brings the kids mountains of gifts and leaves after an hour or two. We try to visit her on occasion but everytime we go to makes plans with her she already has plans of her own. She is one of these people who doesn't like to admit that she is getting old so she tries to be twenty something again. It is kind of ammusing yet I wonder how she is going to feel in ten years or so when she realizes she has truly missed out on her grandchildren. My FIL is totally opposite though (they have been divorced for years and he raised my husband and his older brother. MIL is remarried with and 18 year old daughter from that marriage). My FIL is there for EVERYTHING, sometimes to the point of being annoying but we are blessed that he is there for us.

cinderella*~** - 337 days ago.
just another complaint about my mil, so i was induced 3 weeks early and my gorgeous boy was born, now i have not spoke to her since xmas day when she was horrid to me and upset me, so i wasnt keen on her coming to visit me in hospital but for my partner i let her. she came in dropped some flowers on the table ignored me, went straight to the baby asked to hold, my partner and i said no as he was sleeping, she got upset left! who visits someone and doesnt ask how they are:s And my partner and i are not married, not till next feb and the baby has my last name, she told me partner that he would have to adopt him and carried on :s OMG its his son why would he have to adopt him! she is nuts and its stressing me out. my partner doesnt realise i almost want to call of the wedding cuz i dont want to deal with her, harsh cuz i love my partner and i love our new family we have begun. but the stress is outta control and she always wants her own way and has opions on everything. this is our baby not hers! im at my end with her. i dont want her around my son and she upsets me which upsets my partner :( *sigh* sorry for raving on i just needed to get it off my chest, but as everyone knows pregnancy and labour is a big thing and nobody wants to be upsetted by other people when there trying to enjoy the greatest moments in there lives.

caraj - 358 days ago.
just need to vent.. so my soon to be MIL calls me the other day (as normal) she starts by saying you know when daniel told us you were pregnant i was really jealous of you, she talked about having another child with her husband. she was seriousley considering another child. she says to me you know i am still able to have kids of my own why do YOU have to have one now!! her eldest son my soon to be husband is 21. she says i just want my son to be living at home with me (he hasnt lived there since he was 17) i said you know thats not going to happen. she procedes to say how are you going to have this child i said vaginal why just like i had austin. she goes thats disgusting i dont know how or why you would want to push something out down there or even let a doctor look down there , she goes i had my 2 via c-section and if ior when i have another i would do it the same way... i was pissed lol my fiance said just ignore her calls and he would have a chat to her and he did so yeah hopefully she will leave me alone now... we will see.

over-the-moon - 363 days ago.
i think a heads up as far as the dog being jealous is ok so the little girl knows to be wary, but i wouldnt go through the whole story about your daughter unless asked (btw I DONT think you are being neurotic, i looove dogs and have 2 but would do the same) if they cant respect your wishes to keep the dog separate i wouldnt let her go there either

Allynne7 (Jaime) - 364 days ago.
No, if you get involved you become the neurotic mom they say you are.

lila2cute:-) - 365 days ago.
Puddle, I would stay out if it. I know it's probably not what you want to hear but it's the truth. Don't give ur mil another reason to complain about you. Good luck n hugs!

Puddle - 367 days ago.
ladies. I really need some advice on something. My mother in law is quite obsessed with my daughter which that in itself has caused a lot of disruption over the wider family. Basically Im the one with the problem. 18 months ago when my daughter was 1 she stayed at her grandma's. They have a rescue dog who gets very jealous and I said I didnt have a problem with her staying overnight provided that the dog was not in the same room at ANY point. Because Im treated like a neurotic mother they ignored this and it resulted in my daughter being bitten on the forehead. Luckily the dog didnt draw blood it just marked her forehead and these took days to fade. My daughter did not antagonise the dog she just climbed off the sofa for which the my MIL was sitting next to her and the dog aside her. We were advised that because the dog didnt draw blood that a vet would not put a healthy dog down. My husband and I agreed that our daughter will never go to their house whilst that dog is alive - they couldnt be trusted to keep them seperate so we cannot risk it again. The problem is that Im being treated like a neurotic mum that is making every attempt to hurt my MIL that Im being too cautious. The situation has highlighted again because my MIL's other 'estranged' grandaughter may end up staying (she is 9). Do I keep my opinion to myself OR do I risk the families anger by telling my Neice's mother the situation? . Do you have any thoughts, would you do the same?

charlihadleypreggo3 - 371 days ago.
ugh...wished there was a place to complain about my sister...she is not talking to me because 3 days before my son's birthday she calls to tell me her bf surprised her with a ski trip that included a couple's massage...so she wasn't coming to my son's 3rd birthday party...she didn't have the heart to disappoint him after all the work he put into planning this & surprising her...really you don't talk to your bf about things that are going on in your life like you being so excited for your nephew birthday party that she's know about 4 day before he surprised her?? okay it would be one thing if this happened & was the first time she did this...just saying....she missed: my wedding, the birth of my 1st son, my son at 4 weeks had surgery & was in the PICU for a week, the birth of my 2nd son...she text me & I quote 'chuck...have my own personal problems I have to take care of' my son shortly after birth was shipped to a larger town due to aspirating (cord was tightly around his neck at birth) spent a week in the NICU she only came to see him once, I could go on & on about the things she has chosen to miss out on due to having better offers.....just so ya know...I was in her wedding...was at the birth of both her girls, spent many nights helping her out w/her girls, so that she could get a nap in or spend some time w/her husband...was there for her when she went through her divorce...she is 5 years older than me & has never been supportive...oh & she didn't come to our brother's wedding either...but she did drive 4 hours to attend his wedding shower but had to leave after about 30 min. she needed to join her bf at a big foot ball game that was being played less than an hour from where we were....ugh then she isn't talking to me because I'm a little upset that yet again she's not there for me....oh not to mention...11 day prior to my son's birthday party...I had my cervical cerclage placed & when they did my sono...they told me I had an amniotic band...so I was scared, crying worried I had that week & half of the next week to wait till I got into the perinatologist...did she even comfort me in any way....nope to worried about her bf....

sweetie2320 - 374 days ago.
my MIL is one of the most horribl people i have ever met in my life. It was sad for me to have to open up my husbands eyes to that but now he can clearly see her MANY faults. She is a liar and manipulater to the highest degree. She is always turning things around to make it better for her. Trys to turn my husband and the rest of the family agaisnt me....suprise suprise doesnt work cause they know how she is. Not to say that my FIL is any better he is in his own categoerie alltogether... they are two people that i could live without.

bean6667 - 380 days ago.
My MIL lives up the road from me, literally 2 mins walk away! I love her very much. We phone each other daily and she is always popping in. She knows about everypart of our lives, what we're doing, what we've done, our sons friends names - everything. She is a great mum, a great MIL and a fantastic Gran. I have more contact with her than my own mother! guess im just lucky.

Amalthea - 381 days ago.
when i got pg with my daughter, who is 4 weeks old now..we didnt tell my MIL til i was nearly 23 weeks pregnant bc shes always been soooo negative about us having kids..we have a 3 year old and when when suffered a miscarriage she had the nerve to say how we couldnt afford another baby and blah blah blah... sooooo needless to say thats why we waited till I couldnt hide my bump any longer to tell her about the baby and she was all upset about it too... oh well.. she shouldnt be such a B**** about having more grandbabies..arent they a blessing! now that the baby is here shes all lovey dovey... and wants to hold the baby all the time... i try to not spend too much time with her..

jessiezc - 381 days ago.
*OMG* My mIL called last night. My FIL had come down for a visit not to long ago and got the impression that we would consider moving closer to them. She called to find out when we were moving. 'Should she start some paperwork? Start looking for jobs for us? Look at a few places for Housing? She could fix up the basement? Or sell us her house, and she'd just move to a smaller place. My husband has a history degree, he could be a senator (um, delusional!)! ' Um, we aren't moving. We WOULD consider it, but we'd have to have jobs there, and we'd have to have money to move, and we'd have to wait until after the baby came. She's already looking for jobs for us. I know I'm going to have e-mails from her about 100 different open jobs there... none of which I will be qualified for or even remotely interested in. Worse yet, she'll want me to come and work with her. (haha, I actually just gagged thinking about that... 1st trimester!). Even hubby said he's going to have to call her up and put his foot down.

amk1984 - 407 days ago.
My mother in-law and I get along really well too, I've even gone on walks with her just for the heck of it....but we don't have children yet. I hope things don't change once we do

parris123 - 407 days ago.
Wow! I didn't know that having a good relationship with my mil would have gotten such a response. Don't get me wrong, we are not attached by the hip. Why we get along is, she lives 6 hours from me and has never interfered with the upbringing of my children. I am a military wife so I have never lived close to family for any extened period of time. Now that my children are almost all fully grown we do live close to family once again. Now they are at the ages where I don't have too much of a say let alone a grandparent. With my son's girlfriend I simply just try to sit back and watch them raise my grand-daughter. There are things that I would like to see them do differently but I keep my mouth SHUT. My own mother reminds me that she not my daughter but someone else's. I will get my say if and when my own daughter decides to have children. I would like to thing that if my son and dil sat me down and said you had your chance to be a parent, so let me have mine, I would listen. I do wish everyone all the best and stick to your grounds as a parent.

affi - 409 days ago.
Parris: i am glad that things work out with between you and your mil and also between you and your sons girlfriend. I cannot say i hv a perfect relationship with my mil but coz we dont stay in the same country and hv to deal with each other for max just a month in a year when i am also busy meeting my parents and friends. So it really doesnt matter. But sil is always complaining abt her interference as to why are you two not planning on kids you should hv one by now! Kids is absolutely a couples decisions and the mil's! What clothes to wear on which occasion what to cook on saturdays..... The list is endless! Mil hv to understand that their turn to make all the decisions is over now they just can give their inputs and most of the times just accept what we hv decided

cinderella*~** - 409 days ago.
wow i didnt know people actually got along with there mil. mine is getting worse and worse as my pregnancy goes on. xmas day she made me cry for hours, she was so rude towards me and if she wasnt being rude with her unwanted comments she was ignoring me, i have had enough of the stress that she causes me, my partner has tried talking to her and she turns it around onto us! i'm so stressed about when the babys born that its all i dream and think about, i dont know what to do my stress levels are so high because of her! :( it makes me sad to have my partner in the middle like this, he is on my side and understands but still she is his mother. i dont know what to do, she doesnt like to be told. i dont like people to touch my stomache and she contiunes to do this for long periods of time until my partner finally said to her i dont like it and she took a piece out of him saying that im being stupid and its her right to touch me stomache :s i dont know if she realises im having the baby and not her. she doesnt respect our choices and always thinks shes right. i cant stand up to her cuz i dont want to cause anymore stress and conflict but i cant go on like this. it wakes me up during the night :( not to mention her constant talk about how much money i shouldnt be spending on my baby! i could go on forever about her. its just so hard! and he sneaky ness. my partner told her we didnt want any hand me down clothes its our first and we would like everything new. and she sneakily gave us all these clothes washed and they were all second hand from people she knows, they had holes and stains. she offered to buy us our capsule so we put one on layby that matches our pram and shes always making excuses why she cant give us money towards and making us feel awful about it. its not about the money and i dont expect her to buy us anything we are happy to do it ourselves its the way she goes about everything. then uses the card i do everything for u and she doesnt! she drives past our house at least twice a week and never comes over. yet we are supposed to drive half hour to her as much as possible. she treats my partner like hes a 10yr old still and a mummas boy and hes not. she hasnt realised hes grown up. we are getting married next feb and when we told her this she ignored us for days. whats her problem? :s

*kimmie* - 410 days ago.
My MIL drives me freggin CRAZY and recently it seems to have gotten worse! I wish there was a nice way I could tell her that as much as I appreciate all she does for my daughter she has raised her children her way and its time for her to back off and let me raise my child my way! And to make it worse my husband usually wants to follow his mom’s advice rather than respecting my wishes. I try not to talk back to her and be respectful but as of right now I’m so annoyed I’m avoiding her and giving myself a few days to compose my emotions. I could vent all day about how my in-laws irritate me, I know she means well but sometimes its too much!

Jessiezc - 416 days ago.
Parris - I'm glad that you have a wonderful relationship with your mother-in-law and I hope that you continue to have a wonderful relationship with your Son's girlfriend. You'll find that most of the venting on this site has more to do with MILs treating their DILs disrespectfully. Most people want to try to have a cohesive family with Grandparents as a large part of their childrens' lives. Often the issue can be overstepped boundries (grandma's not respecting the choices the parents have made), unfair treatment, or missing relationships for one reason or another. Unlike you, some MILs just don't care for the DILs or their grandchildren, don't acknowledge them, or have issues of their own. Its not always Karma for the DIL.