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Military Families

Military Families

How can I involve my partner while he is away?

Pregnancy, birth and parenting are exciting, emotional and challenging times in a woman's life. For many families around the country, being in the military can mean that one partner misses parts of these special times. Whether you are in the military yourself or your partner is in the military, there are ways that you can make the transition smoother.

Find out what benefits the military offers and take advantage of them. Take a tour of the hospital that you will be delivering at and find out what services are offered for you, as an expectant mother and after your delivery.

Going to prenatal appointments alone can be stressful and depressing for some women. Find a family member or friend that you trust to go with you. Ask for a detailed report of your progress and make sure to keep your partner informed. Share pictures from an ultrasound and of your growing belly as often as possible. Record the sound of the heartbeat and ask for a video of the ultrasound, if possible. Your partner will enjoy these special mementos of their growing baby. Send your partner a pregnancy book so that he can read about what stage of pregnancy you are in. You might find one that is geared towards expectant fathers.

There is always the possibility that your partner could miss the birth of your baby. Make sure that you have a good support team lined up well in advance just in case this occurs. If possible, stay connected with your partner throughout the delivery via telephone. A support person can talk to him and keep him informed of your progress. There is nothing like hearing your baby cry for the first time and your partner would most likely treasure that phone call. If allowed, videotape the delivery so that your partner can see the birth of their child. After the baby is born, send digital photographs of the baby as soon as possible.





Comments: Military Families

Comments 1 to 24 of about 85.
1 2 3 Next


soon2Bmomof3 - 4 days ago.
kamsmommy~That is AWESOME!!!! It is so nice to hear that he will be there for the birth of your son. It's great to read good things on this forum instead of all the hardship us military wives and girl friends go through. I am so HAPPY for you!!!!

kamsmommy - 5 days ago.
I have exciting news!!! He surprised me & our whole family by coming home for R&R! He told us it had got cancelled bc they were short handed & it was kinda like the old movies. I was doing dishes (any kind of work to start labor) & looked out the window & there was a cab & a man in uniform walking toward the door. I almost broke a dish dropping it back into the sink & running/waddling to him! Lucky for me, my doc appt was friday (this past week) & talked to my doc & they're going to induce me this coming friday!!! He'll actually get to be here for a week after I have him! He has to leave to go back to Iraq Aug 1st but we have a whole week to spend with our first son! He won't be back til Christmas, so Kamren (our son) will be 5 mths old then :( But at least he gets to be here for when he's born!

soon2Bmomof3 - 5 days ago.
Hubby is living seabag drag, only 13 & a wake up before he leaves Iraq for home. I am going to go crazy these next 2 weeks praying that he doesn't get delayed!!! Wish me Luck ;o)

AlmaScott - 5 days ago.
Hello, so here I am pregnant with twins and alone! It's so depressing at times... my husband and I are both Active Duty Air Force but we're stationed at different bases. He's currently deployed to Kuwait. I feel so bad everytime I talk to him because I'm always in a bad mood and I blame him for not being here. I know it's not his fault and being mil to mil I knew exactly what we were getting into... UGH, I just don't know who to blame I guess. He claims to know 'EXACTLY' what I'm going through but he really doesn't... he's not pregnant! UGH! I love him and I miss him so much! Besides being pregnant and having to deal with the stress of my husband being deployed, we're now 'fighting' to get him orders to Fairchild. My First Sgt and Chief haven't done a damn thing because they say there's nothing they can do... Then what are they getting paid for?! Our Join Spouse orders to Fairchild already got denied but someone at Dyess wrote up another package for us to turn into AFPC, if they get denied again I don't know what I'm going to do... I can't raise 2 kids on my own!!! GOD, why is life so difficult?! Anywho, anybody going through anything similar or anyone that has any advice for me feel free to write me... For all you who have husbands 'away' in training or deployed... I hope they come back to you safe and sound! May God bless you all. =)

csewell0301 - 6 days ago.
my hubby is in training right now and we have a 3 month old. hes coming home in a week but i am just so sick of this military thing he has been deployed once and sent all over the place doing diff things he is reserves he only has till march and his 6 years are up

jes - 7 days ago.
hey all well my hubby is on a military course for 6months so its just be and baby ryerson 5mos all week long. im lucky though bc i get to see my hubby every weekend (that is if they let him lol) we are from manitoba Can. but his course is in ontario, lucky for me my family is in ont, so i followed him down, but its still lonley throughout the week!!!

soon2Bmomof3 - 18 days ago.
mybabykelty~different situation but my husband volunteered to take orders to go to Iraq. he has been there since feb. and he will be home in aug. right before the baby is born. when people found out that he volunteered for this knowing we already had two children at the time, they were very negative about it. i couldn't talk to anyone about it b/c they were like well he got what he wanted and where does that leave you, and they were constantly putting him down. i didn't understand why they would feel that way when that is his job!!! i supported his decision even though it was the hardest thing i ever did. it will be so much easier on your son if you show him support no matter how hard it is for you, or what you really think about it. if he does go to a combat zone that will be one less thing for him to worry about. i don't think any son wants to let their mom down, and just imagine the pride he will have for hisself when he comes home =)

sailorsbabybump - 19 days ago.
Does anyone watch Nashville Star? I've been recording it and just watched last weeks. One of the guys on there is in the Navy (on the USS Kitty Hawk) and I've been cheering him on! Well last week he was singing and they brought out some of his buddies from the boat wearing their uniforms. I am a WRECK! You can't do that kind of thing to a pregnant woman who's husband is out to sea!!!

mybabykelty - 20 days ago.
Prayers for all the mommies and mommies to be in this forum. Just married into the military so I am learning how tough it can be at times. Hubby is not deployed at this time, but work schedule keeps him at away at times. I am inspired by the ladies here that are dealing with long term seperation. Makes me feel ashamed to complain for the short seperations. I also have a son who is will be going to Ft. Knox this summer and his unit i to be deployed this fall. I do not yet know if he will have to or not. He said he wants to volunteer if not. He seems so young to me. I am afraid of this. Any advice? I can barely speak of it to those around me. Keez, I will say an extra little prayer for you, thank you for all you do. Military mommies do not get enough credit. Best wishes for a safe delivery.

Bri - 21 days ago.
Happy 4th of July Ladies! Thank you to you and your families!

Its-Chelle - 21 days ago.
i wish all of you a happy 4th of july and im thinking of our troops, saying a prayer, may god keep them safe, and be a blessing to them and to all of you today and every day..((((hugs))))

my-lil-miracle - 21 days ago.
My son is 9 weeks old and his father who is in the NAVY has been gone for 8 weeks and 3 days of that. He is gone for another 4 months... Poor Michael will be 6 months old and JUST getting to know his daddy. I feel bad for Michael and Sam but he's got to serve his country.

keez1979 - 21 days ago.
My husband and I are dual military. We were seperated (by the military) for 6-7 months right after I found I was pregnant. It was horrible because I was stuck in Germany and he was in the states. Plus, he is deploying in a few short months. Now I am back in states with him which is great, but I definitely am not happy with the situation. The baby will be born next week. This has been stressing me out. . .I can't get out of the Army yet, unfortunately, but I will at the earliest possible moment (which will be in like 3 years. . .ha, ha).

jess.flores - 23 days ago.
hi ladies. my husband is a captain in the army. he is training special forces (we are at Bragg). I am 30 weeks pregnant right now and my due date is sept. 10th. looks like he will be going away to train starting august 11th until mid november and has no shot of being released for the birth. he has been here since the beginning and very involved. he hasn't missed one appointment. it makes me sad to think he wont be here and I will be having our son alone. we have no family and I dont know anyone here in NC. blah... this really stinks. This has even made me want to have the baby early so he can be there. Thats a terrible thought I know but unless I do he wont be there.

jewlo - 27 days ago.
Well ladies I had my baby on the 18th of June by emergency C-Section cause I was in labor and she was still breech. She was 7lbs 3.6oz and 20inches 3 1/2 weeks early but very healthy. My husband is still in Iraq sine oct 07' (3rd tour and 2nd birth missed poor guy) but he did get news that he will be leaving Iraw around Aug 5th he is coming home 2 months early !!

armybratonboard - 28 days ago.
well lets see where do i start my other half is deployed. and we found out that we were pregnant 5 day after he left so i had to tell him over the inter net on the web cam, wasn't how i planned on telling someone but in this situation i guess we really don't have much of a choice. So he will be missing out on all of it, all the changes the entire pregnancy,oh yeah and the birth. Our baby will be 8 months old when he gets home. But i guess those are the sacrifices we make as being military wives but it is like they say GOD FOUND SOME OF THE STRONGEST WOMEN AND MADE THEIR MATCHES WITH A MILITARY MAN!!! I am just wondering how you guys do it/ if there are any of you that are doing it alone? well while they are defending us. and one more thing i want him to be as involved as possible i plan on taking pictures of the belly staring time now till the day our little one is born and i am gonna video tape the birth so he can see it. do any of you have any other suggestions? please let me know.

SMiller - 31 days ago.
My husband and I have been married since May 23, and he is in the Navy. He was supposed to leave in February but due to an accident he had at work he won't. Even though I'm happy he isn't leaving I'm scared that when we do get pregnant he won't be home. But I gotta say any woman that's married to a man in the military or a woman in the military has the most difficult job ever.

jbugsmommytobe - 31 days ago.
oh wow I'm glad I've found something like this!! I'm only a few days from giving birth but it's nice to see that there are other people in my situation. My husband is in the Army and will be home TOMORROW!! for R&R...I've been soooo scared he wouldn't make it home for the birth...but it looks like he might unless I go into labor in the next 15 hours which I don't see happening. He's been gone since two days after we found out we were pregnant, so he doesn't really know what it's like to be w/ me pregnant and all I wanted was a chance for him to see me pregnant and see the transition of baby inside and baby outside. Rather than him leave and I'm not even showing (I was 4 weeks) to poof here's baby....This has been a pretty hard deployment on both of us and I'm soooo thankful he'll be here tomorrow!!!!

MilMom2Be - 31 days ago.
As I've said b4, hubby and I are both military stationed over-seas. I came back to work this week, the problem being our daughter didn't get into the CDC so I am working mid shift so I can tag my husband out to go to work doing the day. I am exhausted because she does not sleep much during the day, and am so pissed that I have been on a waiting list since December (when I was preggo) and she is still not going to get in untill probably Aug-Sept. I hate being over-seas right now, if we were in the states I could look into other daycares, but here in england it is so expensive it is not an option, the dollar to pound ratio is 2 to 1! Sorry, had to yell about this... Grr, sooo sleepy...

kamsmommy - 33 days ago.
Good evening ladies! I just wanted to share my story & vent a little. My bf (yes, i know we're not married) have been together 3 years. He joined the Army last summer, found out we were pregnant the first of December & he deployed the first of Jan. I've been in army brat my whole life & the military is all I know, but sometimes it just sucks! He's missed out on EVERY appt, won't be home til Christmas, & SHOULD have been home for the delivery. Yes, for once the Army actually let him have his R&R around my due date even though we arent married. However, just last week, they decide 'Oh we're short handed, no R&R for anyone' So right now my feeling to the army is f*#k the army. Sorry it just feels good to vent. I know I should have never got my hopes up, but it's hard not to with your first baby! Anyways thanks for the vent!

mixerdelight - 46 days ago.
Ok, so my husband an i are in the military. I'm in the navy and he is in the marine corps. This is our first child and he will not be here for the birth. He leaves for a 6 month deployment to Japan September 6, and will get back March 15. The baby is due October 30. I don't know what to do. I can find out what wrong with a helicopter and fix it in no time flat... I know nothing about babies and he has already missed so much because he has been getting ready for the deployment he is on now to Alaska. We are both pretty upset about this, he tries to be involved. He has already read most of my 'What to expect..' book. and he reads to the baby whenever he can, even over the phone. It's just so upsetting to me, I don't know what to do without him. Sorry that was really long... I just need some help dealing with this I guess.

SmurfWxMama - 46 days ago.
So I go to the doc in a few hours and am praying I get some kind of information about a possible induction, or just something from them. And am I the only one that thinks it's totally f*@ked up that they will only send the daddy home if your dying....um hello I'm delivering an 8 lb human being out of an area that should not get any wider than a cucumber on any other given day and they don't consider that a good enough reason to have the daddy home. Have they not seen Jersey Girl or any other of those kinds of movies and stories!?! I have some health issues either way ya know and no one is going to be here to help out any other way...and they wanna just tell me to suck it up, well bite me!!! Lets see you have a baby and not kill someone!! If anyone has any information or ideas on where I might be able to go to in order to maybe see about getting him home to be able to help me out please let me know, I'm open to anything right about now....anyone know of a way to fake death?!?!!!!

MilMom2Be - 54 days ago.
ps- he will have been in 8 yrs when this term is up

MilMom2Be - 54 days ago.
Well, hubby and I are both in the military, and now hubby is saying when this term is up he wants to get out! He has taken no college courses, hasn't worked on his A&P, nothing! But he really wants out, it's not for another 2 yrs, so I will support him but I hope he starts planning. This is when I am really glad I am in too, he CAN get out and I still have the job stability to suport our family if things aren't as easy in the civie world as he thinks it will be....

jewlo - 55 days ago.
I talked to my husband yesterday and he should be home sometime at the end of Aug. Although the baby will already be a month and half old which isn't too bad. He is so sad though cause this is the 2nd pregnancy he has missed and there will be no more after this. So far they have talked about giving me a C-Section cause the Baby is Breech and I am 34 weeks. So in a couple of weeks the baby should be here and still no hubby ;( He is on his 3rd tour in Iraq and yet we are still going strong. When he comes home they have been talking about sending him to AZ for E-7 training which means he will be gone another 3 months. After that he will have 9 months home and then he will deploy again for another 12 months.. But that's the life of the ARMY.. I know that I'm strong and he is strong enough to last through these MANY deployments !! I just hope I am strong enough to deal with a almost 5 yr old and newborn alone lol...that's what scares me !!!


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