Children and pregnancy

A big brother or sister in the making!

PREPARING YOUR CHILD FOR THE BIRTH OF A NEW BABY

Preparing your child(ren) for the birth of a new baby should start early on in the pregnancy, if possible. All children will react to the big news differently. Some children may be very happy to welcome a little brother or sister into the family and other children will become jealous, angry, scared and unsure of a new baby being in their home.

How should you tell your child you are pregnant and when? Most of that will depend on how old your child is and what they can actually understand. Teenagers and older children can usually fully understand the concept of pregnancy. Younger children often do not understand how the baby got inside of your tummy and how it will come out. There are a variety of books aimed towards younger children to prepare them for pregnancy and the birth of a new baby. Rather than telling your child that the baby is due on December 21st, tell them that the doctors think the baby should come around the holiday season or during the winter. When you decide to tell your child that you are pregnant, make sure it comes from you and not from someone else. This means that if you have told the rest of the family, you need to go ahead and tell them as well. Because of the risk of a miscarriage or other possible problem with the pregnancy, you don't want to tell your child that you are pregnant too early. It is usually best to wait until the second trimester to share the news with your other children. Even older children and teenagers can have an extremely hard time coping with the loss of a baby early on in the pregnancy when they are expecting a sibling.

It is normal for children to feel jealous about the arrival of a new baby. They may feel like they are no longer wanted or that they are not getting as much attention anymore. Everyone is talking about the pregnancy and the new baby. It is best to involve your child as much as possible, if that is what they want. Do not force your child to take an active part if they do not want to. Let your child help pick out nursery items, baby clothes and gear and let your child(ren) give suggestions for a name for the baby. Instead of making each day about the new baby, make sure you continue to show interest in what your child already enjoys. If your caregiver allows, let your child attend routine prenatal appointments with you and show them the ultrasound pictures or videos. Invite your child to the baby shower and have a few gifts that are especially for them!

Your child may have many questions and concerns regarding the pregnancy and birth of the baby. She may be scared that you will get hurt during labor and delivery. It is your responsibility to answer their questions to the best of your ability. Your child should know where they are going to go while you are deliverying the baby. If you will be having a home birth or want your child to be present for the birth of the baby, you should speak to them about it. Some children are simply not old enough or mature enough to handle such an event. As beautiful as the birth of a baby is, it is messy and scary event that can be very traumatizing for children of all ages. Find out if there are sibling preparation classes available in your area. Most of the time these classes are offered through the local hospital or doctor's offices. You might want to get your child a baby doll that they can practice with and love on before the new baby arrives.

After the birth of the baby, let your child help. Even though it may take longer to get things done, you should allow them to help out if they want. Teenagers and older children can be an excellent source of help with feedings, diaper changes and so forth. Younger children can get diapers, blankets and other items for you if needed. Make sure that you spend quality time with your older child as often as possible. When baby is napping, swinging or playing contently, take some time to interact with your child the way you always did. Your child will accept the birth of a new baby easier if he/she does not feel like the new baby has taken his/her place!

Comments: Children and pregnancy

Comments 1 to 18 of about 18.
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jk4105 - 1225 days ago.
Well I will admit it is overwhelming but be thankful for what u have. My daughter will be 4 months next week and I just found out I am a a month and half pregnant..I cried as I felt I was makin her grow up and not be the baby no more..Now I just make jokes like do they have bunkbeds in cribs..lol that is all u can do..it took us 6 yrs to have our beautiful lil girl and meds to help us get her..now with no help and thinkin we were being careful we have another on the way..i guess that is just how life works and yes god has some jokes along the way to :D

Mrs.Zee - 1241 days ago.
Mommie2Dagon : Thank you! That sure sounds like a great way to announce the new addition! I too want to make my daughter feel very important!

LeLe0307 - 1241 days ago.
Hey Ladies - I am new to this forum... but I am in desperate need for advice or whatever any of you can offer. A few months ago... I found out I am pregnant with # 2... I have a son who just turned 9 months on the 17th. I am overwhelmed at the thought of having another baby so soon... They will only be 15 months apart... and I am just wondering how it works... I am scared about having 2 children.. I wanted another baby...but I wanted to wait until my son was atleast 2... but.. Here I am. How do I get through the emotions, stress, overwhelming feelings, etc. ??? Any of you have this same situation?? I can't even think of what I should do with their rooms.. and whether I should buy another crib or go ahead and put my son in a toddler bed at 18-19 months old after the baby is ready to move into the nursery???? SOoooo many things to think about.. and I don't know where to start... Help?! Advice?! Words of Encouragement??? Anything.. LOL! I am secretly freaking out!

Mrs.Zee - 1242 days ago.
My husband and I are trying to come up with a unique way to tell our 9 year old daughter that she will finally be a big sister.....any ideas anyone?

Bri - 1399 days ago.
consiebaby - Congrats! I only have a 21month old son and 17weeks with baby number 2. I know what you mean but I'm sure no matter what the sex you'll fall in love. There will always be a special place in your heart for your first child, for your first son, for your first daughter but that doesn't mean you won't love the next one just as much. I know when I first found out I was carrying a boy it didn't seem realistic. In 60 years my family had only bared 3 boys. Then my sisters and I started having kids and now there are four more and only two girls. It was weird that there was a little boy. But now I wouldn't change it for the world. I don't care if this next one is a boy or girl. I'm just excited to give my son a sibling. A playmate and a lifetime friend. Good Luck! And congrats. Oh and age doesn't matter. I know when I was your age I was thinking of marriage to my now husband but children weren't even a thought but that doesn't mean there isn't maturity. Good Luck in school as well. That's awesome. It's not easy going to school with two little ones and being pregnant. Well, it's not easy without them either. You're a strong girl.

consiebaby - 1399 days ago.
im so nervous right now. i just found out im five wks pregnant. i am 22 yrs old and have a 3 yr old son and 15 month old daughter with my husband. we just purchased a new house out of state. the thing is people here just assume im a high school drop out (I graduated and am in my third yr of college went to a trade school on the side to earn decent income) but still people believe they have the right to question my lifestyle. we can afford our family and both have great careers. I am a cna right now . i just dont want people to judge my age. My children are great. although this may seem odd i cant see myself loving another boy or girl like i would be "cheating" i grew up as the only girl with 2 bro. and witnessed the favoritism toward the younger bro. and me as the only girl. i just dont want to be that parent with the mid. child who may feel neglected. sorry to rant . any advice or opinions are welcome. just needed to vent. thank you

Rebecca - 1435 days ago.
Dansmum: Try not to worry about what others will think. This is more what is good for you and your family. Your son will be a great big brother and will love the fact of having a sibbling. It is a scary thing to go through again, expecially if you were not prepared, but it is such a blessing and a joy to go through it all again!! I think you should be so happy, you sound like you are really excited about the newest addition. I think you should tell your partner and celebrate!! Its a wonderful thing and nothing to be ashamed of. People should be happy for you! Just relax and enjoy that growing baby in you!!

Dansmum - 1435 days ago.
Hi everyone i have a lovely 1 year old and have just returned to work part-time. I have just discovered im pregnant, i am happy but have so many other emotions too. Worried about my little one and how it will effect him. Scared about childbirth again and how will my employees react and i have not told anyone yet not even my partner dont know how he will take it sndwill people think i have been stupid. Im 34 and i think of how grateful i should be as some people can't have children .

supermompj - 1547 days ago.
we have a four bedroom house, our 3 and t5 year old daughters share a room, the 9 year old girl has her own and the other is a computer/tv/play room right now. Our oldest is VERY excited to allow the crib to be in her room for a few months while we adjust. Then she will move to the computer room although we are looking into moving prior to all this. But i think most kids are okay with sharing rooms they still need their space though so their own beds and dressers etc is probably a good idea.

aprilmama - 1547 days ago.
My daughter 4 and son 2, share a room but its the only room. we dont have any room for our baby due in april, but we are building on. Baby's sex will be a suprise but will most likely be sharing a room with one of his or her siblings. When my daughter had to share her room with her brother she didnt mind at all. she pretty much slept through anything. maybe you could put baby in with whom you think is the better sleeper. kids really adapt better than we think they will. With a new baby in the house, making your kids give up their special rooms may make them resentful. maybe not, but i would wait til baby is born. they may be begging to have the baby sleep in their room! kids are funny like that.

luvbeingamom - 1548 days ago.
Jamie - My boys wanted to share a room. They have been together in a room since my youngest was just a couple months old (straight from my room to his brothers). They love it. They don't ever wake each other up. They actually sleep better together. So if you don't want either to give up there room or their decorations, maybe put the baby with one of them. If not there are a lot of un-sex rooms you can do. You can always do a winnie the pooh, mickey mouse (if they are younger) or just colors. Maybe brown, then pink on her bed and green on his? Good Luck!

MamaCas31 - 1555 days ago.
QUESTION: When you got your period for the first time after birth, was it like a normal period? My son is 13 1/2 months old and I think I have my period, but it is SO light, and I don't have any cramping at all. Sorry if this is TMI, but I've wanted my AF back so that we could TTC, and I'm a little confused. It started yesterday and was bright pink, then this morning it was bright red, and now it is dark brown....so confused. Please leave any info/or comments on my profile...thank you!!!!

mel-k - 1555 days ago.
I believe in Pay if Forward, so I have to tell all the SAHM's to check out my page for an unbelievable opportunity!

Amhopw5522 - 1620 days ago.
My 3 year old is acting up now. He realizes something is going on and that there is about to be a change. He is the baby and and is determined to stay that way. We are potty training, and well not the perfect timing.

tzs-fam - 1624 days ago.
Do you think its true that your child starts 'acting up' if you are pregnant??

4thonitsway - 1632 days ago.
Ok Im a military wife who stayed home to have my daughter in August, my 6 week check up was due in October, this is typically when birth control is given. Due the giant mess of moving 3 kids, 2 pets and all our stuff 4 states away I missed this appointment, and Tricareis a pain in the but so I cant be seen the 1st of next month. Weve tried being careful, but my daughter was concieved while we were careful lol. Had a rather odd period in October, tho Im told your body reacts odd after your 3rd so that didnt bother me, then no period in november and guess what low and behold 3 BFP, yes I took 3 lol. The 4 kids doesnt bother me, planned on another, just not so soon, my question is for any advice, tips or things to watch for when getting pregnant again so soon, my othrs are more than 3 years apart so Im a bit worried

sjsillygirl - 1643 days ago.
Hi Ladies, I am new here. I am so glad I found this site... Yippy. Anyway, I just found out that I am expecting my 2nd child. I am so happy but, concerned for my toddler. I am so worried she will feel that the new baby will take her place and my love away (which it won't) but, she won't undertstand. How can I reassure a 2 year old going on 3. Has anyone felt this way?

ltosha78 - 1644 days ago.
Hi everyone. This is my 4th baby. I was wondering how many other ladies out there have as many children as I do:) hope everyone pregnancy is going well:)