Single Parenting

Are there programs available for single mothers?

Comments: Single Parenting

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amyes87 (blue) - 238 days ago.
Well this looks like the right forum for me! I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant to a guy who I've known for 6 years, our relationship has always been pretty volatile, and never 'official', always on and off as friends, so needless to say things are pretty strained at the moment. Straight up he said he didn't want me to keep it, but said he would never turn his back on his child, but then also wanted a dna test done. Things errupted into all out war a couple of weeks ago and things got nasty. We came to a mutual agreement that we need to put our issues aside and focus on the wellbeing of our child and try to get along without all the drama. The next day he totally backflipped on what he had said the previous day, and said if I wanted the kid, fine, but he didn't want anything to do with it, and he admitted he was gutless (Ahh yeah!!). I found out that the reason behind this change of mind was due to a friend of mine opening her mouth to a female friend of the BF when she was drunk and telling her that I was pregnant to him, and she proceeded to tell another female friend of BF who has been in love with him for a while. So s**t hit the fan basically with those pests saying stuff to him. I told him it was okay and that I'd do it myself and that was his decision; and we've gotten along fine since (annoying!!). I don't know what to do really, I think he'd be a great Dad and that's all I want him to be, I'm under no grand illusion that we'll ever be together, considering if it hasn't worked by now I'm near positive it won't in the future. I've been told by everyone that he'll come around, but it's so frustrating not knowing! And I don't think that it's fair that I should go through this whole pregnancy by myself without his support then him expect that it's okay to come back into my life. It's kind of the equivalent of me spending 9 months on a thesis and him coming in at the end and claiming credit for it too, when all he did was help me write the title page. Trying not to stress out about it, but sometimes I just need to vent, and I'm trying so hard not to keep going off at him. Anyway good luck with everything ladies, we'll be okay, it's their loss in the end (:

chickinlil - 262 days ago.
Well I guess this is where I belong again. I don't understand how this has happened to me again. This was my biggest fear and now I am pregnant and daddy is pretty much M.I.A....With my daughter I was able to cope so much better. The depression this time around is eating me alive. I feel like all I do is cry.

mommytwo - 322 days ago.
Y DO THE MAJORITY OF BREAKUPS HAPPEN AFTER U FIND OUT UR PREGNANT...ND I AM SINGLE MOM OF 2 A 1MONTH OLD AND 8 YR OLD...AND WENT THRU THE ENTIRE PREGNANCY ALONE DELIVERY AND ALL...QUESTION..SHOULD I FEEL BAD 4 PUTTING THE FATHER ON CHILD SUPPORT WHEN I TOLD HIM I WOULDNT?

mommytwo - 322 days ago.
Y DO THE MAJORITY OF BREAKUPS HAPPEN AFTER U FIND OUT UR PREGNANT...ND I AM SINGLE MOM OF 2 A 1MONTH OLD AND 8 YR OLD...AND WENT THRU THE ENTIRE PREGNANCY ALONE DELIVERY AND ALL...QUESTION..SHOULD I FEEL BAD 4 PUTTING THE FATHER ON CHILD SUPPORT WHEN I TOLD HIM I WOULDNT?

martini - 359 days ago.
I am a single mom again after me and the dad tried like 10 times he always leaves as soon as he is getting a big cheque and doesnt want to help out his family some men never grow up we have a 2 year old daughter and im SO hurt and sad and I feel so many emotions and I dont think anyone but a single mom can feel my pain I hope everyone stays strong

karla76058 - 379 days ago.
My BD recently left me. You can read my blog and I have a Q&A about the story and reasons. So it looks like I will now be a single mother. Stay strong ladies.

Leannas ♥ Mummy - 383 days ago.
Hey everyone im 22 from UK currently pregnant baby is due in 2 weeks unfortunatley im no longer with my babys dad as he treated me bad but wanted to get 2 know other women in the same boat as me to give and get support. I live with my family & my mums been my rock through out my pregnancy, dont have any friends with babies so I use this site to unload now & again. Just give me a shout if u wanna chat.

Winter~ - 393 days ago.
Any other single mommies out there??? I am single mommy of 5 month old, I am 26 and back living at home with my parents for the time being. Anyone?? Hello??

brown-eyes - 426 days ago.
oh my its so weired to be back in that forum, when i was pregnant back than alot more ppl did write in here i just hope less mommys to be with a jerk face hurtin them. my daughter is almost 3 years now, rememberin the past i was hurt, readin all of ur storys im feeling the pain of it again. but everything happends for a reason and all i can say its prob for the best. keep ur heads up ladys

Suddenlyalone - 525 days ago.
All you single moms by CHOICE are very lucky. I was in a relationship for 9 years. (not marred by my choice) we have a 6year old, we had a house, cars, and good jobs. He was one of the good ones that took care of his family. I am 17 weeks pregnant now. On the 30 of august I was visiting family in another state, a friend called me and said he did not come to work and not answering his phone. I called and called I got nothing, then I called all the police stations and hospitals in the area nothing. So I call is grandfather to go to the house and check on him. He was found dead in his chair. And I am now a single mother and I don’t know what to do. Any other moms with this problem?

*mommytobe* - 546 days ago.
Wow it was amazing finding this forum!! We are all strong women and will make it just fine on our own! I am 23 weeks pregnant. My ex and I were together a yr and a half I was bout 4 months pregnant when he decided we should take a break which ended in a break up. We still talk almost everyday. He says we arent done for good. I have no idea whats gonna happen between us the thought of being a single mom and not having a family with him just makes me sick to my stomach. I will admit I was a total bitch to him a lot and treated him badly. He is a great guy cooks cleans does laundry dishes would rub my feet or back... Ive been with douche bags in the past and I guess couldnt except someone nice. So I was a bitch... we constantly had his friends or family living with us and couldnt have a real relationship. About a month into my pregnancy I told him I loved him but wasnt in love and that I thought after the baby was born that I would fall back in love as we start the new chapter in our lives. He took it that i just didnt love him. I should have explained what i meant which was that those new lovey feelings were gone. I know it bothered him coz he actually talked to his mom about it. My friends and family think he is just scared of being a dad. He was with his ex before me for 3 yrs she slept with his best friend and got pregnant he was there during her pregnancy and for the first 7 months of the babies life then she told him the baby wasnt his and it killed him. He says that has nothing to do with any of this so I dont know. I try to to kinda give him the cold shoulder and see if he will come around. He says he wants to be in our daughters life. I know he will be and he will be a good dad. He makes plans with me a lot and then makes up an excuse and dont come. He says he wants to feel her kick and go to my appointments we will see. He is supposed to come and put my crib together this Sunday we will see if that even happens. He says he thinks things will work out with us and that we will be fine! I am praying so! I love him and I dont wanna do this by myself! Im a strong woman tho I cant do it if I have to! Thank you ladies for sharing your stories and experiences! Ur all great mothers!! I wish you all the best!!

ash1983 - 559 days ago.
i am newly pregnant and petrified. i havent even told the father yet. I have only been seeing him for a couple of months. My last relationship lasted 6 years and we tried and failed to concieve, i honestly thought I couldnt have kids. Now this has happened and although im not afraid to bring my baby up alone. I dont want him to think I did this to trap him. i feel like this was meant to happen after trying so long in the past, but the timing couldnt have been worse.

annie40 - 564 days ago.
hi you wonderful ladies, i am a kind of single mum by choice, i had a partner we had a son who was born with a neurodegenerative disorder and died at 13 months old. we wanted another baby and had to use donor sperm as our son's disorder was from my dh and i combined. long story short, dh is a spineless dickhead and i am now 14 weeks pregnant with our second child on my own. i am much happier with him out of the picture, he caused nothing but heartache in the end. i look forward to chatting with you all and sharing our journeys together xxx anne

CleopatraSelene - 565 days ago.
I'm going to be a single mom by my own choice. Of course that means I'm not having mother in law problems but my own mother is being way too pushy. She shoots down my ideas for names saying (forcibly) that she will have a 'part' in naming the baby, will not allow me to be home alone, constantly talks about her health issues during pregnancy as if I will develop them, had the nerve to say that she would adopt the baby if I 'didn't want it', I could go on and on......and on. The thing is I feel fine. My pregnancy has gone really well so far and having taken on the responsibility of being a single mom I think I can certainly take care of myself and my baby. Surely some of you reading this will understand what I'm going through, and you will be able to offer me some advice. The situation with my mom is so tense and stressful for me I have decided not to have her in the delivery room which probably won't be recieved too well. She is going to come and stay a couple weeks before the due date and I'm sorry to say that I am dreading it. When the baby is born I'm afraid that my mom is going to seize control of not just my life but my baby's as well. How on earth do I deal with this?

No-love - 567 days ago.
Wow new mommy...sounds about the same :( Does he have other kids? Did he give you a hard time establishing paternity?

newmommy36 - 567 days ago.
No-love, I went through the same thing with my baby's father. He accused me of tricking him, the baby not being his, all that stuff...which he did out of spite becasue he decided he didnt want the baby. He was pretty much abset throughout my pregnancy and has been around that much after my baby was born. He only does enough so that people will not call him sorry. Which is not much becasue he will go weeks without wanting to see the baby. Thats the only reason he is around the little bit of time he is. Everyone tried to tell me it was going to get better but it worse the further along it is. The nicer I am to him the more of a jerk he is to me. He also lived off the system too and he is also stupid. He though just becasue he was getting unemployment I would only get $50 a month in child support. He has to pay like 10 times that. I tried not to take matters through the court but he kept taunting me about visitation and child support, I had no choice. He wanted everything his way, now everything is the courts way. No we dont even speak to each other. Any form of communication we have is through email. I mean we don't even greet each other when we see each other. That was his choice. He said he didnt want to talk at all ever. Which to me means that he doesnt care to know the well being of his child or whats going on in his life. He said he doesnt care and the baby should be able to tell him these things when he turns 2 years old. (See I told you he was stupid). What 2 yo can tell you whats going on in his life. I have asked that sign over his rights becasue I dont want my baby growing up around negativity amongst his parents. Thats not a normal environment for a kid. How can we raise a child without ever speaking or discussing anything? I feel like its best to be the greatest single parent instead of going through this mess. He will not agree to signing away his rights becasue of his parents. This has been a struggle and my baby is only 4 months. I hope your situation works out a little better than mine.

No-love - 568 days ago.
Hi...Im 9 weeks and single. We decided we drive eachother nuts and trying to stay together for the baby would complicate things further. Anyways, I didn't love him. Only together 4 months. But I think he loved me. This will be my 1st. His 4th. I am trying to be his 'friend'. I do not even care if he goes out and dates. I just don't love him and never did so it's easy. He won't be my friend tho. He hates me. He says I have ruined his life. He called me names and said he would rather eat a bullet than have a kid with me. (He is bitter bc I am keeping it) Naturally, this angers me. I told him we could do this the easy way or the hard way and he wants to go kicking and screaming. Like most other 'common a$$holes', he accused me of faking the pregnancy and questions if it is even his. I am financially secure and he is a government leech (sorry no offense, he plays the system). I told him if he 'partners' with me and can give me $30 a week for diapers/formula than there is no need to go thru court. He told me good luck, bc he will disappear and I will never find him. (He's a little stupid too, clearly when you live off section 8 it is easy to find you) I want my kid to have a father so I am trying to make peace. It's not working. I'm only 9 weeks. It is still early and maybe he is going thru some 'shock'. I'm going to wait and see what happens but I will keep trying to involve him. However, I don't know how much I can take before I give up. Everybody is telling me since I have the means, erase him from my life. But how will my child view me if I do that? I grew up in a close knit family of six. My parents are still married. Family is important to me. And he is good to his other children so WTH??? Im gonna give him some time and see what happens.

JoolayDavis - 569 days ago.
Wow. Hearing all these stories really make me realize the differences in men and women. I guess that's why Mother's Day is such a big deal. I have a very serious question: Can you get child support from an illegal immigrant? I am 18 weeks pregnant and the baby's father is illegal and wants NOTHING to do with me or his child. He even claims that it's not his. Obviously because of his attitude towards his own child I do not want him to be part in it's life. It is better off that way. But..how do I get help from him financially at least if he isn't even legal? Please..I hope someone can help provide me with some information..Thank you!

brown-eyes - 581 days ago.
hello there, to all of u beautiful moms! my daughter is 2 years now, she was planed. As i got pregnant with her my partner was happy but started to seem insecured. He went on a mission with his job, and broke off with me online. WOW! there i was sittin n broke down. A constant battle started with him during my pregnancy and after it, also he played alot with my emotions. Last time i´ve seen him is a bit over a year ago, where he acted up in my familys house so worse that we had to call the police and we r going to court. domestic violence, childsupport, and keeping my daughters documents is one of the things that i let my lawyers deal with now. i tried any way to get along with him or to make him that dad or person i wanted him to be for the sake of our daughter. he only sees his point of view and i learned that i should have let a lawyer n the goverment handle my cs, visitation, etc instead i gave to much energy for that. looking back now im happy that i aint with him, cuz he will never change, ive met a new man who is such a blessing for my daughter he def did more than her actual father. i do miss the time being a single parent alot of times, no realtionship stress as well, which is pretty tough when u raising up a toddler or a baby. i miss just being or doing what i want to, being a single parent is not always a bad thing it can also be good. anyways what im trying to tell u here is i went thru or still going thru bs with my babysdaddy, but loosing that dipshit is the best that happened it does make u stronger and at the end having that miracle in ur arms is the best u ever got. its a long way to get along with ur feelings and finding out a way to deal with not the perfect fam picture u imagined it to be. but there is a reason for everything, and alot of times there is one door closing cuz there is a better door to enter

TonynOllysMommy - 601 days ago.
Hello to all...I'm new to all of this. I'm 27, have a 2 year old son, who is my life. My partner and I had been together 10 years as of June 1. He last week told me he no longer loved me, hated me down to the core of my soul & wanted me to leave, obviously I took our son with me. I'm not working and am set to start school in the fall to work towards my LPN. I'm looking for women in my same situation, how do you do it?! I'm confident we will be fine, but it seems so overwhelming right now. Just getting used to everything....it's hard.

Winter~ - 641 days ago.
So I am very confused as to what last name I should give my unborn child. Originally my ex and I were speaking and I was all for giving baby his last name. But now I've caught wind he's staying with some girl and hasn't talked to me in alittle over a month. The only reason we were even broke up is because I moved 8 hrs away from him to live in a stable home and have the support of my family, then he lost interest in me or something. But now I don't know that I want him to have anything to do with our child. I am going to ask for child support but am afraid this will give him more rights to baby? And the last name...I don't know how this affects the situation either. I am in the OR and father is in CA, I don't know if that makes a differnce either. If anyone knows or maybe knows of a good site that could give me some answers that would be great. I'd really appreciate any input. Thanks!

Winter~ - 646 days ago.
I guess I need to just except the fact that I am going to be a single mommy. I am 28weeks and this is my first baby. Boyfriend said he was ok with the pregnancy and told me everything would be ok, that 'we' would figure it out. Well after he tried to accuse me of flirting with his friend and me freaking out I moved back in with my parents just to be in a stable situation. We were going to do the long distance thing for alittle while but he won't even call me, now that his phone is shut off I can't get ahold of him. Why do I keep clinging on to hope? I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes lately!

mommy4-1 - 652 days ago.
To all you single moms who do it all...parenting with no support from dad is hard but at the end of the day, I wouldn't trade it for a clean slate, a man with a ring. As times passes by it will get better. I get so frustrated when I find my lil man sitting on my bathroom floor...very quietly pulling all the toilet paper off the roll or when he write in ink on the outside of my 'white' front door and after it's taken me 15 minutes to dress him and I find him sitting in the running water I'm suppose to take my shower in fully dressed including his brand new Jordans..I look at him and smile, realizing how lucky I am, I wouldn't change a thing....So instead of wasting energy trashing your sperm donors or dead beats dads, moms etc. be thankful for the miracles they help gave you and thank "God" or whoever you worship, for having the opportunity to be parents and parent these little miracles. Happy mum's day Ladies, or Single Dads!!

mrsofficer - 687 days ago.
Honestly mine goes back and forth...he will say all these things but I went to his moms and he showed up while I was there..with the g/f...I was in the bathroom....he was gone as soon as I came out.....he hasnt seen me face to face since I have told him....and his g/f does nothing but curse and say horrible things in the background while he is on the phone with me........

Lilith - 688 days ago.
Ladies, ladies, you can all do this without your sperm doners. I've done it alone for 5 years- in fact, before I kicked out my ex he never helped change diapers, clothes, never watched his own kids, We had his two, and our two. If I went shopping I had to take all four, he was too busy playing video games. When I broke down and cried he told me I wasn't strong enough to be a mother, I couldn't 'handle it'. He has never paid child support, and I used to have to pay him to watch our two girls if I had to work. Seriously. Nowadays he is a bit better, but still doesn't pay support, only takes them every other weekend, and brings them back on Sunday at 12:30. Just stick to your guns, girls. If your ex is no good, don't involve him too much. BUT if he is trying, let him see the baby. Eventually he may come around.