TTC After Loss

When can we try to conceive after a loss?

Comments: TTC After Loss

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mrsmlcmama - 53 min. ago.
Bfp last Friday and now spotting. Just had an mc in dec, feeling scared and sad. Hope to make it through the week.

nikkipearl - 5 hours ago.
My birthdays Christmas eve, and I loved it, we always had a huge Christmas/ my birthday party, and I always felt like Christmas was all about me...it wasn't till I was older that I realized I was actually getting screwed haha. I'm blessed that I have two boys 2 years apart but I was loving the idea that my you best and the baby I miscarried where only going to be 1 1/2 apart...I'm hoping I get pregnant this next month then they will be 20-21 months apart...we only want one more and it would be nice to have them all close in age

abbyh - 5 hours ago.
CaniacMom, go for it! My daughter's birthday is December 16th - born right in the middle of Chanukkah (the year she was born) and nine days before Christmas. Granted, she's only two, so she's too young to understand or care, but it hasn't been such a big problem for us so far. Not that we are super big into the holidays either, but it's been working out. I know what you mean though. My sister and I are close and we are two years apart, just about exactly. I had wanted that for my daughter too, but due to life circumstances, decided to just bite the bullet and wait another year. I figured three years difference wasn't bad. I ended up getting pregnant by accident last summer (due date was last Thursday), but miscarried. It was hard, but in the end, it wasn't planned, so I wasn't as attached to the idea yet. I had hoped to get pregnant and have a September or October 2012 baby, which would make my daughter almost three years older, but not quite. I nailed it - my due date was September 27th. Well, I miscarried again, so now I have no idea what's going to happen, but I'll be lucky to have another baby by her third birthday at this point. It's frustrating and I don't know how many more losses I can take, so it makes me nervous. I definitely don't want to ever go through this again.

tencowmommy - 5 hours ago.
CaniacMom- that's exactly how I feel. It isn't the loss of the baby itself that makes me most upset. My ds will also be 3 in June! I just thought that I would have another child by now. He gets lonely and I know that he would be a good brother. I never thought I'd have kids that were nearly 4 years apart, but that's what it's starting to look like. Maybe more if it takes us another 11 months to get pregnant again. It's more frustrating than anything.

CaniacMom - 7 hours ago.
FX for you AVG. I swore that last month would be our final stab at a 2012 baby as I do not want a Christmas baby but I think we're going to give it one more go. DS turns 3 in June and he is so ready to be a big brother. It breaks my heart. Going to give it our best shot, but I have my annual re-training next week, right around when I should be ovulating. It is so stressful for me that I doubt that we will have any success. Coming up on my original due date on March 1st and it's making me increasingly more anxious. I'm not grieving the loss of the baby since it was early in the pregnancy and I know it didn't work out for a reason. I'm just frustrated that I wanted to complete our family and have the kids close enough in age that they would hopefully bond really well.

happymama (jen) - 9 hours ago.
Weber - I think watching the show could be therapeutic...just like hearing stories of losses in this forum. I would watch it, but we don't have cable.

abbyh - 10 hours ago.
Hey ladies! Just feeling the need to stop in and say hello after dealing with my co-worker all morning. OMG, is it time to start my new job yet?!? I think she got the message somewhat, after she flashed her ultrasound photos in my face and I blew her off. Any advice on how to refrain from telling her off before I leave that place? I have such a good reputation there - I do not want to screw it up when I only have a week and a half left. UGH!!! Anyway, happy Valentine's Day to all you lovely women! Miscarriage is so odd. We are celebrating getting AF and excited about puking. I really hope you get a BFP, AVG2012! As for me, I am doing kind of like what nikkipearl is doing - counting my miscarriage as CD1 and going from there. I have had some odd symptoms and my appetite has been super low, like it was my first trimester when I was pregnant with my daughter. I kind of doubt that I am pregnant, but I'm just waiting to see. If I figure my miscarriage was CD1, I am on day 21 currently. We first BD'd (sorry for TMI) 2/4, so regardless of when O was or any of that, I'm figuring that the soonest I could really test and get an accurate result would be this weekend, or maybe early next week. I'm sort of playing it by ear, figuring AF will likely show up somewhere around that time. If not, I already have HPTs I can take if I'm feeling lucky. lol Good luck to anyone testing and hugs for all of you, especially those dealing with sad milestones, anniversaries, etc.

tencowmommy - 10 hours ago.
weber3-I want to watch it, but I'm also afraid to. At the same time, I've avoided grieving a little more than I should. Maybe getting it out of my system wouldn't be such a bad thing?? Ha ha ha, probably not. I'm going to lose it. AVG-I hope you get a bfp! Babydusted- yay for AF! What a good Valentine's day present! I'm really hoping AF comes SOON! Sitting around THINKING about ttc isn't half as fun.

weber3 - 11 hours ago.
I am planning on watching the season premier of 19 kids and counting tonight, wondering if I am going to handle it. I think they are showing the episode of her stillborn and she lost her baby about a week after I lost mine. I am not sure if it's a good idea, but I so badly want to watch it. Just seeing the commercial I cried and cried remembering my own pain.

nikkipearl - 12 hours ago.
AVG hoping you get our positive....does seem like it could be early symptoms of pregnancy, I got my positive with my last miscarriage 4 days before my period was do. Are you going to test soon? Fingers crossed for you!

babydusted - 13 hours ago.
And I am officially at CD1. Happy Valentines day, lol! We will clearly be celebrating and in a romantic mood NEXT week! Fingers crossed...

AVG2012 - 14 hours ago.
tencowmommy:yay to the doctor's green to TTC again..abbyh: Congrats for the new job..wish u luck there...ladies i've a QUESTION: I am not charting on anything. dont even know when did i have my ovulation this time(never ever used OPKs)....was just watching my cervical mucus...and by that i can say it was around CD10...today is CD26...i puked immediately after my breakfast today, have slightly sore bbs..should that raise my hope up for a BFP? generally my cycle length is around 30 days.

Carmen27 - 22 hours ago.
Great news TENCOW - im also not the biggest fan of 'AF' , But i will tell you something: i was never as happy to see 'AF' as i was after my ectopic last year :) lol lol....... good luck ladies and FX xx is there any1 testing soon? sorry for any recent losses, ((big hugs))

nikkipearl - 22 hours ago.
So glad your drs appointment went good tencowmommy! And that's great he gave you the ok fter one cycle...how far along we're you when you miscarried? I had a bath as soon as my bleeding stopped too, I love my baths! I'm so hopping my period comes this weekend... If its like a cycle and I count my miscarriage as the first day it should be Thursday on a 28 day cycle....here's to hoping

tencowmommy - 1 days ago.
My appointment went well. My doc says to take my vitamins, wait a cycle and try again. Oh, and I can take a bath! As soon as dh comes home I'm lighting some candles and taking a hot bath! I hope my period starts soon...and at the same time I don't. Who am I kidding? I hate my period!

weber3 - 1 days ago.
@amys89 I read that book as well, its very informative. You can learn it all just looking it up in the internet if you don't want to buy a book. Basicallly in a nutshell, take your temp everymorning before you get up, preferably at the same time each morning record it on a chart and when your temp goes above the last 6 days temps and stays up, for several days that was the day after ovulation, and while your temp stays up it's called your luteal phase, if it needs to stay up at least 10 days to be able to conceive, if it stays up over 14 days, test, when it drops AF is coming. When your temp rises it's too late to conceive, often people get a dip the day before the rise and you know to bd.

happymama (jen) - 1 days ago.
I realized there is one other positive - I am sleeping normally again. No more waking up to pee or waking up 10x a night to my husband's snoring. Now I sleep soundly all night long. In other news, I think I'm almost done bleeding! Yay! Tencowmommy - I'm finding myself doing the same thing on milestones of where I 'should' be. I'm sure it's normal and part of the grieving process, though it really sucks. ((hugs))

tencowmommy - 1 days ago.
There is a great book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I got it from the library a few years ago and it explains everything. You can download a free chart from tcoyf.com. Also, a lot of thermometers come with free charts. Charting really helps you know when you ovulate so you can better plan when to bd.

amys89 - 2 days ago.
alot of you ladies seem to be charting your temps! how does this work? i need to try something new as OPK's arent getting me anywhere but im not really clued up on anything other than them. any help/advice would be much appreciated :)

tencowmommy - 2 days ago.
I have my follow up appointment today. I think I can say the bleeding is gone (hoping!!). I'm trying to plan a nice little dinner/movie night at home for tomorrow with dh and ds. It's hard to stop thinking about the fact that tomorrow would mark my first day of my second trimester had I not mc. So that's kind of depressing. Oh well. I got a new thermometer since the battery in my old one died and the battery cost the same as a new thermometer! So I'm ready to start charting again! I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day!

weber3 - 2 days ago.
I don't even know what day I am in my cycle anymore, trying not to let it get to me this time when AF comes. I am so done with grieving and regrieving my m/c and grieving another imaginary baby that I'm not really pregnant with. Just charting bbt so I can know when AF comes and don't get caught at work without pads LOL

abbyh - 2 days ago.
Glad you got some time to focus on YOU, tencowmommy! That is so important. Nikkipearl - it definitely was hard knowing that I could have been giving birth (and going on maternity leave!), but I was not even pregnant. I tried to think of all the nice things about it though - I could eat sushi and drink wine if I wanted, I can wear whichever clothes I want to in my wardrobe, etc. There is nothing I can do but try to just see the silver lining in it all. I'm glad you had a nice dinner with your friend. I've found that women who have been through this before just get it and everyone else just doesn't. It's nice to have all of you here to 'talk' to, even though I wish that we never had to go through this! Hoping we are all getting to know each other in the weekly section soon!

nikkipearl - 3 days ago.
I hate the no tampons thing to, I sure hope your bleeding clears up quickly tencowmommy! Hope you had a good dinner Jen! That was the first thing I did the night after my miscarriage, was have a glass of wine! Abbyh, that's so nice that you were able to have a good day, it's always hard when it's your due date and your no longer pregnant. I had one of my pregnant friends over for dinner, it actually wasn't that bad, but she had experienced two miscarriages prior to this so it was nice to talk about our experiences.

tencowmommy - 3 days ago.
abbyh-I think not being able to use tampons is probably the WORST. I'm over it! I wish my body would catch up with the times. I got my hair done today. It was really nice to have a break from dh and ds and get out of the house and do something for ME. I'm going to try to go to church tomorrow for the first time since this all happened. We'll see if I'm feeling like it and actually go.

abbyh - 3 days ago.
Agreed, Jen. Enjoy!