Waiting for Roland -
531 days ago.
Oh, and if vanity is the only determining factor between abortion and adoption, I got NO stretch marks, LOST weight after giving birth and only showed the last two months, which flew by. I actually hid my pregnancy from people because I was an unmarried teacher and no one was the wiser for the better part of seven months.
Waiting for Roland -
531 days ago.
I will be very honest and say I have had an abortion and now I think it is silly. I was 17 and my boyfriend was closer to 30 and he was afraid of going to jail so I did it for him. 1. He probably should have gone to jail and 2. all of those horror stories they tell you about having kids are immaterial once you have a baby. I NEVER wanted kids and now I am TTC for another baby! I was on birth control both times and some people are just going to get pregnant no matter what. I was one of those people. My boyfriend who I ended up having a baby with at 24 (different one, thank goodness) wasn't even supposed to be able to have kids AND I was using sponges and condoms and STILL got pregnant! I considered it fate and had the baby the second time.It changed my life for the better. I had a friend who had a baby at 17 and she is a teacher like me and even teaches the same grade (although I am on leave as a SAHM I LOVE being a mom so much.) Nothing would have panned out worse. NOTHING. I have no idea why I thought it was going to. That gross guy (the 29 almost 30 year old when I was 16 almost 17) is out of my life and only would have been out of it sooner (although I guess I would have been tied to him, but he got another teenager pregnant after me and SHE had the baby and he has no rights to the baby for the psycho things he did so even that might have been solved.) Abortions are a choice but maybe not the best one all the time. I think i having the baby is usually the best choice, especially if the big change of life is the only down side. If there is nothing medical involved with YOU (at only six weeks baby is fine, they told me at 7 weeks not to even worry about all that stuff when I found out I was pregnant) then you are just afraid of change and that is not reason enough IMO.
532 days ago.
You're only 6 weeks, you have time to quit everything bad you're doing and baby will be FINE..... Having a child at your age isn't the easiest thing to do but if you feel ready, you can do it!!! Younger women have done it and still went out and got jobs or education... Have you thought of adoption? You should think of that before you think abortion.. Soo many good couples can't have kids and would give everything in the world to have a child.... And whatever you do after that, get info on birth control!!!! Abortion should not be used as contraception!!... Good luck, do whatever's right for you, I hope you get support from your bf with whatever what you descide to do....
533 days ago.
There are a ton of programs out there that can help you get on your feet if you are doing it alone adn lots of help for the baby and what he/she would need as well. If we all waiting until we could afford a baby none of us would have any. At least I wouldn't have any :) They are a lot of work and a lot of money but worth every penny and hard time.
533 days ago.
My advise would be to quit all of it until you decide what you want to do. The descion of keeping this baby ior not is up to you. You are the one who is going to have to go through the abortion or go through the pregnancy and birth and have the baby. As we all know it is not easy to decide what to do when something unexpected happens. Just make the descion for you and make sure it is what you want and not what someone else wants you to do. As long as you quit your baby should be okay, adn no doctorcan tell you for 100% that your baby is goin gto be fine, but they can't do that to any or us. Good luck hun, and I hope you get the suport you need no matter which way you go.
533 days ago.
As - My main concern is what are you doing for birth control? Abortions are very dangerous for you as the potential mom. They can ruin your chance of having kids when you DO want them. If you're not wanting to get pregnant then you should use protection of some sort. There are MANY options out there for you. Abortion shouldn't be used as a form of birth control. That being said, if you stop smoking/drinking NOW the baby will be ok. If you're only 6 weeks along then there's a chance that fluids are not being transfered to the baby yet. GET PRENATAL CARE! There are women who drink and smoke throughout their pregnancy (unfortunately) and their babies turn out just fine. That's not common though. Babies can be extremely damaged from recreational drug and alcohol use. If your bf doesn't want you to have the baby then he should've used a condom. There are millions of single mothers who are AMAZING and take care of their kids. Legally he will HAVE to pay child support whether he 'wants to' or not. Best wishes hun. Hugs! I can't imagine it was easy to have those abortions. Btw your baby has a heartbeat already. Just to give you some thought.
533 days ago.
I have had two abortions and i find myself pregnant again. My bf does not want me to keep it. I'm about 6 weeks along and I've drank hard alcohol and beer, smoked weed and have smoked cigarettes and although I fear him resenting me if I keep it my biggest fear is what harm I could have caused my baby the first 6 weeks. I'm pulled in so many directions that I don't know what I want to do at this point how do I know what the right decision is, especially after drinking and smoking? And I'm only 20 years old about to be 21 I. Four months
550 days ago.
Tell pples you're on antibiotics and can't drink ;) or say you're simply not in the mood or you just don't feel good and don't want to drink :)
550 days ago.
How do people handle the parties w/alcohol without telling everyone you're preggers? I want to wait a wile before announcing as i've had a m/c before
576 days ago.
I drank heavily for the first 4 weeks until I found out I was pregnant. I had a major emotional trauma occur that sent me into a 48 hour drinking binge. Then I drank and smoked heavily until I found out. I stopped everything immediately and pulled it together for my baby. After that I think I had one beer one time and a half glass of wine another time during my pregnancy. I didn't desire alcohol at all. Anyways, despite the first 4 weeks, I have the healthiest 6 year old you could ever meet, emotionally and physically.
605 days ago.
I am the birth mother of a child who has FAS. I am not an alcoholic, I drank socially during the first 8 weeks of pregnancy as I did not know that I was pregnant. At birth - 5 my beautiful baby daughter appeared completely normal, no obvious side affects, not until she started school. Then the problems really started. She was initially diagnosed with Dyslexia, then over the years up until she turned 14, she was diagnosed with expressive language disorder, then ADD, attachment disorder, dysthymia, scoliosis, she has had issues with her teeth, vision and hearing. It was not until she was 17 that I found out she was affected by FASD. Sometimes I worry that she will not make it to adulthood because of the poor choices she makes. Without me in her life, she just falls apart and it is a daily battle to keep her glued together and the bad influences at bay. She is now having her second child and both are in my care as she cannot care for them.
What a tremendous cross I have to bear. I am the one responsible for all the issues my daughter will continue to face for the REST OF HER LIFE. Unfortunately I cannot turn back time I cannot change what I have done, I have to live with this for the rest of my life. Some mothers who drink, their babies are fine, no one knows why, but why would you risk having just 1 drink if there is even a slight chance that your baby may be at risk? We have the rest of our lives to have a glass of wine. I made one mistake of drinking during my pregnancy and so far it has now affected 3 generations. Before you take that sip, ask yourself if your are willing to give up the rest of your life to care for your child if they are affected by FAS?
765 days ago.
ladies, I drank wine with each pregnancy but waited until the 2nd trimester and limited it to about 2x a week, and one glass each time. It was red wine and my doctor just said that he couldnt encourage me to drink however he didn't believe that much would be an issue. I'm a high risk mom and always will be due to my first pregnancy (long story)....but the occasional glass is not the problem. The problem is those who drink daily and have multiple drinks.
766 days ago.
Its so unfair when i have seen people who smoke drank (very heavily) and done drugs the whole pregnancy and every day after and have the healthiest babies. They shouldnt have kids. Makes me very angry! From what ive read on the internet you can have two beers a day, i wouldnt though. I havent drank since january.
766 days ago.
Nurse, if you drank before conceiving you don't have anything to worry about, as there is no developing fetus yet..I think salter is referring to drinking after conception but before pregnancy is confirmed. I agree with her, not worth the unknown risks.
766 days ago.
Salter - thanx for completely worrying all those women including myself, who enjoyed a drink before conceiving. People like yourself should not be able to comment if it means worrying others. I have never known anyone who's baby was affected because they drank before!!
766 days ago.
I drank moderately (2-3 drinks on weekends) before I knew I was pregnant and my son is significantly affected with classic disorders and deformities associated with prenatal exposure. The profound grief and guilt are unbearable. I can't go back in time for my son, but it's not too late for yours. No contraception - no alcohol. Ever!
903 days ago.
I had a small cup of red wine to relax and days later had my son. He is happy and healthy and doing just fine. I didnt drink my entire pregnancy except that one time. I heard redwine was good for your blood.
925 days ago.
Its a personal choice, and i do find the information in the UK is startlingly different to the US. i would say that probably most women in the UK have a drink or 2 in their pregnancies. And the Mediteraneans even more so. But i am not saying what is right or wrong, just what i found with my first pregnancy. Now with this pregnancy this is a whole other ball game, i am having complications that are beyond my control due to a SCH being found. I have not had a drop since being diagnosed with this and will not be having any alcohol in this pregnancy whatsoever, as i do not feel comfortable with the idea as things arnt as smooth and trouble free and the previous pregnancy. I know how people viewed my occasional glass of wine when i was carrying my daughter, but the facts are. She is healthy, happy,very smart and growing wonderfully and we are a very close family. However 5- 6 glasses a week, i have read that too somewhere, but is not an amount i would even consider. If you were to consider it, thats when i think an occasional glass of wine turns into something more serious issue needing addressing.
938 days ago.
Oooh Controvercial subjects are always entertaining. I love reading everybodies points of views, and adapting mine as I find more information thats reliable!
Just my own personal opinion, my babies health is worth more to me than anything else in the world, and if there was even a minimal chance I could be harming him, I would avoid it at all costs. And when it is something as simple as NOT pouring yourself a drink, then why not? You wont die without your wine, and your child might suffer the rest of their life. Those are not odds I want to even look at.
938 days ago.
lesly... I'm not sure why some say it is ok and some say it is not. Personally I do not drink at all while I am pregnant... I just don't see the need and personally do not feel that any amount is worth the risk.
939 days ago.
why do they say that its okay to drink wine while being pregnant??
956 days ago.
chrissy- i'm not saying that FAS is not a real concern and not a scary one I would never ever drink alcohol in first trimester and not more than occasionally after that. but even one glass of red wine per night in the third trimester is not been found to have any harmful side effects. I have spoken with doctors and nurses during this pregnancy who have admitted nothing has been found or proven about that small of alchohol intake. the only site i can find is http://www.alcoholconcern.org.uk/concerned-about-alcohol/how-much which states 1-2 units 1-2 times per week which is 4 units max per week. i would personally not even drink this much, but that's just me.
957 days ago.
this is such a controversial subject and I know that it is much more taboo in the U.S. than it is in Europe. in the U.S. we are told that even the smallest amount of alcohol could hurt the baby, which really isnt true, it's a lack of evidence vs. substantial evidence. I do understand erring on the side of caution when it comes to our babies, but red wine has known health benefits when drank sparingly. I'm 37 weeks along and have enjoyed probably 6 glasses of wine this whole pregnancy. I wasnt a heavy drinker in the first place but I was drinking occasionally when I conceived. I really wouldnt drink anything like hard alcohol, mixed drinks etc... but honestly wine has no proven consequences for a developing fetus when drank sparingly. even 5-6 glasses a week is said to do nothing. it's understandable to want to listen to everything you hear because you want your baby to be 100% healthy, but extreme stress can be said to be unhealthy as well and a happy mom can develop a healthy fetus. So i do splurge once in a while on a glass of wine which helps relax me, and i dont think there is anything wrong with it.
958 days ago.
Well i am 10 weeks pregnant, moving into 11 weeks tomorrow. I have a 2 year old daughter. I had drank an enormous amount in the first few weeks of being pregnant with her before i found out i was, due to engagments/weddings and birthdays that were all on at the same time. When i discovered i was pregnant i didnt drink anymore until i was 12 weeks, after that i allowed myself one small glass of red wine on a saturday night as a treat after my week at work. It calmed me down,unwound me and was a guilty pleasure. My daughter was born 8lb 3 oz, not low birth weight, went 2 weeks overdue and had to be forced out,not premature labour,and is miles ahead of other kids her age at preschool. My doctor in UK monitored me throughout the pregnancy and in which time my blood pressure barely rose, and he thought that perhaps it was the health benefits of the red wine that helped that happen. I will say i only drank red wine as for me i didnt feel as awful knowing there are proven health benefits too it, and i didnt want to put lager and beer rubbish in my body. I am expecting my next child in may and i have one glass of red wine every 2 weeks, but this time i did no binge drinking as we were TTC. People may think that i am terrible for doing so, but i am a sensible drinker, i at no time become 'tipsy', its not something i would recommend anyone to do and whatever someone chooses is up to them. For me i have been fine, but some may not be so lucky. Its such a tricky subject and so contraversial, i guess its what you are comfortable with.
1040 days ago.
I can understand why some people are worried and wary about drinking alcohol before they found out they were pregnant. You need to calm and stay relaxed. A few drinks would not of made any difference. With my first pregnancy i worked at an IVF Unit and i didnt drink at all. At myleaving do the doctors told me it was fine to have a glass of red wine every now and again. I had a glass of red wine at xmas and also when i got engaged. At the moment i am 4 weeks pregnant and i will not drink in the first 12 weeks of pregnany (advice i have been given) but after that i may have a glass of red wine every couple of weeks or few.