Blended Families

How can I make the transition easier?

Families come in all shapes, sizes and forms. A growing trend is the blended family. A blended family is also commonly known as a "stepfamily". In today's society, approximately one third of all families are blended. This is because many partners find a new-found love and remarry after their first marriage was found to be unsuccesful.

Although the majority of blended families do not experience any major set-backs, some do. Blending a family can be a difficult task and sometimes one member of the family feels left out, hurt and abandoned.

Most importantly, take time to realize and understand that divorce, death and a new marriage can be stressful for parents and children. Children may not understand why their parents are separating and marrying someone else. Give your child extra attention, love and support during this time.

Finding out that your spouse has children from a previous relationship may be difficult. Get to know your partner's children and try not to set expectations that may be unrealistic. Do not expect the child to immediately love and trust you. This will take some time. Realize that the child may not think of you as a parent right away. It is common to hear "You are not my mommy." or "I don't have to listen to you." As a step-parent, it is importnat to discuss how discipline will be handled. Will the step-parent have just as much say as the biological parent? Researchers believe that the biological parent should continue to be the primary disciplinarian, especially in the beginning of the relationship. If there are children from both parents, there should be one set of household rules for everyone to follow. Otherwise, the children may begin to resent each other.

The ages of the children involved can play a major factor in how easy it will be to adapt to a new life. Children under the age of 8 and over the age of 15 usually accept the changes the easiest. Teenagers can understand what is going on and are usually interested in their own life at this point. Young children are interested in forming strong family bonds and enjoy the new friendship that a stepparent can bring. Children between the ages of 9 and 14 usually have a harder time accepting the changes that come with a blended family. At this age, children are more sensitive and may feel very betrayed by their biological parents.

Comments: Blended Families

Comments 1 to 15 of about 15.
1

faith-star-x - 64 days ago.
wow i just noticed this forum, i came from and am now in a blended family, things can be difficult, but i wouldnt change it, i haave four children, 3 dads, makes things hard at times, but my fiance has taken on the oldest 3 and they call him dad, yes they still see theirown fathers but they love and respect my fiance, we have a lil girl together and are ttc our 5th.i have had issues such as his parents playing grandma and grandad, now they dont, they still see my older children, but they do not ask them to call them grandparents, i dont care for them too much, as my kids are happy at home with the blended family x

sirensdad - 103 days ago.
Bump Hi everyone - Sorry for the intrusion, but I am reaching out to this community in search of the REAL stories of blended families today, for a new television series to air on a major cable network. If your blended family is the real life Brady Bunch (or maybe the story is why you are not!) and you'd be willing to share your story on TV, please contact me at sirenscasting@gmail.com. Thanks, Brent Sirens Media

mumette - 150 days ago.
I'm kinda havinga h ard time with this. My boyfriend has a 6 yr old little boy and we are very hard pressed for cash...I just found out that child support will be immediatly deducted form his pay checks and I am feeling sort of resentful since I feel we wont have enough to provide for this one because of his other son. I know that sounds horrible but its how I FEEL.

Melanie07 - 156 days ago.
I come from a blended family and I know have a blended family. Blended families are hard at time but, I would not change anything. All of my kids consider each other full sibling. We do not use the words 'step' nor 'half'. When I go remarried, My older two children were in the wedding. Instead of the regular unity candle, we made a blended candle. Each of us chose a different color wax crystal. We all poured out colored wax into a decorative glass container with a wick. It made like a sand art. It turned out to be a beautiful candle. It blended all the different colors without mixing. It symbolized each of us are our own self yet, together we make something beautiful. We burn the candle every year on our anniversary. Our kids really loved being a part of that. They love their new little sister too. She really seamed to bring the family completely together. It was like she was a missing piece. They only problem I am having right now is, my MIL definitely shows major favoritism to our youngest. She accepted my older two as her own grandkids until the youngest came. Now she treats then very different.

jaychay - 185 days ago.
i came from a blended family and now have a blended family. im here to talk if anyone needs.

sirensdad - 186 days ago.
Hi everyone - Sorry for the intrusion, but I am reaching out to this community in search of the REAL stories of blended families today, for a new television series to air on a major cable network. If your blended family is the real life Brady Bunch (or maybe the story is why you are not!) and you'd be willing to share your story on TV, please contact me at sirenscasting@gmail.com. Thanks, Brent Sirens Media

Mommyof2Kidos - 221 days ago.
I have a blended family and I'm always here to talk. Sometimes you might not see conversations in the forum because people might respond directly to another persons profile page.

mrsdenney - 221 days ago.
i too have a blended family....and im here to talk

heathert - 221 days ago.
I had never noticed this forum maybe that is why there is not much activity.

heathert - 221 days ago.
I have a blended family and have talked to many women on here that do also.

4thonitsway - 221 days ago.
there are plenty of blended families on this site just notso much in this forum

larryslady - 221 days ago.
Its no need to talk about my situation since there are no blended families here!!!

bellas-mum - 277 days ago.
pygmalin-could hubby take both boys on an outing like surfing,bike riding,camping etc. IMO the boys need to have quality time together also

pygmalin - 281 days ago.
I have a rather urgent question..though this may be long as I need to give a bit of a back story...My son is nine soon to be ten. His father died in 2006..before then Marcus's Dad would take him every summer and holidays..Holiday months..So we equally had him through out the year...They we close even through his dads illness..(we were not together but very close friends..high school sweethearts) after his dad died he went through a period of behavior issues..which we continue to stuggle with...Well I met and moved in with the father of my soon to be born son..we have been together for three years lived togeher for two..James has a son by the name of Taylor..he is seven..well James only gets visitation with his son twice a month on weekends (We both want more but that is another issue and involves a very bitter divorce)..James spends time with my son has much as he can (though my son is very difficult and hard to handle at times) But to James's credit he tries...When Taylor comes over there is a huge power struggle for James's attention...Taylor undersandably wants alone time with his dad and Marcus is jealous of this..understandably..his dad is deceased...James is trying his hardest but Marcus tries every thing to try and make taylor jealous of the alone time Marc spends with James..often this ends in Taylor uncontrolably cring and saying things like you love Marcus more than me...I have talked to Marcus about this..but of course..to no evail...I have suggested to James that maybe he needs to take Taylor by himself on at least one afternoon by himeself each visit...so Taylor does get this bonding one on one time...Are there any other suggestions to make this situation better before our baby comes?...I can only see this struggle getting worse as the family grows. We want both kids to feel loved and excepted...who doesn't right?

bellas mum - 285 days ago.
hmm is their no blended familes here?