TTC After Loss

When can we try to conceive after a loss?

Comments: TTC After Loss

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neyermommy - 57 days ago.
I had a miscarriage over 4 weeks ago at only 1 month pregnant, when should I expect to get my period? I know alot of the medical sites say 4 to 6 weeks but when did yall start after?

fizzy85 - 57 days ago.
@amys89, too much differences betwn me n my dh, drive me crazy sometimes. i told him tht we women got to deal with hormonal changes, we may cry for no reason. i cried over sad songs last tue..lol!. today, i make him angry by saying tht i'm not his employee...hehe...i think i'm abit edgy today. dunno whts wrong with me...

~DiAnA~ - 57 days ago.
Tto~ so sry for your losses.

amys89 - 57 days ago.
thankyou bjorge - that means a lot! :)

tto - 57 days ago.
I read about your conversation with how spouses deal with loss. We lost two pregnancies in a row 8-9 wks and 23 wks. The second one hit my DH so hard and of course me too. The Dr warned me that we would grieve differently and told me to find someone else to talk to, because most men do keep it in. Well after therapy and anti depressants, two healthy sons, and 11 years later- I'm happy and fine. My DH still can't talk about it. I don't know why. He knows our sons are in heaven and happy. But his heart is plagued. Breaks my heart that he just doesn't seem to get that last bit of healing to where we can talk about our lost ones and be excited together that one day we'll see them again. I've seen many women on here have multiple m/c and go on to have healthy babies. I pray for all of you that you'll move over to the pregnancy after loss forum quickly.

weber3 - 57 days ago.
@krissieh, so sorry to hear of your recent news, I was so praying for good news for you. I know there's no words that can ease the pain right now. I wish you a speedy recovery physically and emotionally and I hope your partner will let you try again. If he's anything like mine, he will get over it soon, nor will he take any steps for birth control. I know people who had 3 m/c right in a row, then went on naturally to have several babies with no medical intervention.

weber3 - 57 days ago.
@sara sorry to hear about your loss. You will get so much encouragement here! I lost my baby on the 20th of november.

weber3 - 58 days ago.
@brownie I can relate, I am snapping at the littlest thing too. I am 30 days post m/c and no sign of o yet, saw my temps rise for nearly a week now, but since I am fightingt a bug it's probably nothing to get excited about.

bjorgebaby - 58 days ago.
Oh amy that is fabulous news. Every time I hear stories like that I turn into a blubbering baby. To be trying for so long and to never give up on your relationship and then to end up with such a beautiful miracle in the end. I just love it! Your godmother will be in my prayers for a healthy pregnancy and baby!

amys89 - 58 days ago.
just got some very exciting news that my godmother is expecting her 1st child. she has been actively trying for 7years so this is brilliant news for our family :) there is hope for everyone!!!

amys89 - 58 days ago.
my cycles are normally 28-29 days but last cycle was 61 days!! well i became a serial tester and tested every 2-3 days from cd30!! what a waste of money that was - my hubby thought I was off my head!

babydusted - 58 days ago.
The worst part is this forum is the only place I can vent my craziness! If my fiancee had any idea of how I wrestle with test, don't test, ...well, maybe just go buy one now ....no, no, absolutely not until Christmas... That man would run for the hills. :)

bjorgebaby - 58 days ago.
babydusted, i totally feel you. me personall i am a 28-35 day cycle and i dont know when to test. i would love to test on christmas morning i know it would be a long shot to be possitive but it would literally be a dream come true. if i am running a 28 day cycle i would be due for af on the 30th this month. so 5 days sooner! but miracles can happen. best of luck and i hope your af doesnt show and you get your bfp either before christmas or the new year!! baby dust your way

babydusted - 58 days ago.
Is anyone else totally mental about when to test for pregnancy? My cycles are a wee bit irregular, so I've got about a week before I can tell if I'm truly late. Aunt Flo could be showing up tomorrow or some time around the end of the year! I've been cramping lightly on and off, mild nausea...some other symptoms, but those ALL could be PMs. And I feel like such a dolt when I test too early and then realize...duh! AF shows up. >:( To test or not to test!

amys89 - 58 days ago.
Krissieh – im so sorry your having to deal with all this. I really just want to give you a big hug. It’s so difficult when hubby does show support so without his support and with comments like that there is no wonder you feel like punching him! Do you think hubby will come round to you trying again or is his word final? Although it is still extremely difficult, i know what you mean about knowing you can ttc again making it a little easier. Thats the only thing getting me through this pain right now. Have the doctors confirmed this is a m/c or do you have to wait for your scan? Im really feeling for you xxx

amys89 - 58 days ago.
aww bjorgebaby - you just brought tears to my eyes! I know i dont post very often but i agree you ladies are such a strong support network for me. Its so nice to know we are not alone. i agree with you too on the keeping it quiet for the first 12 weeks - we decided we would do that too which i think is lovely that its our little secret from the world (obv not from you ladies). With my son we told our family at 6 weeks which we regretted doing because we barely gave ourselves time to get used to the idea before enlightening everyone else. Fizzy – although coming to terms with how my hubby dealt with his grief was difficult for me (i felt he was bottling everything up) i think in the long run it is what he needed to do! I judged him for bottling everything up and hiding his emotions when in reality i was doing the same thing  only now am i realising this!

bjorgebaby - 58 days ago.
i am so glad that i am not alone on this one at all when it comes to my dh. i thought for a while that our marriage was falling apart because of the mc, instead it was just him not wanting to show his true feelings with the reality of what happened. we were definately have our fair share of communication issues. but every night since we have been sitting down and telling each other how our day went but with more feeling and meaning behind the conversation. its been really nice and i think it has definately made us closer. we even agreed that besides you girls on here we are going to keep our next pregnancy a secret, at least until we are closer to the 12 wk mark! which is kind of nice to have something that is just you and him. i dont think the mc and sorrow that we have been through would have been as easy without you girls. everyone of you are one of the strongest people i know and its so nice to turn to someone who can understand where you are coming from. so thank you to each and everyone one of you ladies, i feel like i know all of you even though we have never met! love you all

fizzy85 - 58 days ago.
sorry to hear abt wht u've gone thro' Amys89. be strong dear. i sometimes dont u/stand man@my dh. when i think it's too much to bear, i'll write him a lengthy email. only then i'd feel better. funny tho' b/c we're under the same roof, lol! i agree with babydusted tht men are naturally protective but their acts/reactions to this matter are making us feeling worse.

amys89 - 58 days ago.
my dh was the same when we had our chat. he was just trying to be strong for me but he was breaking down inside, sad cause its something we should have gone through together!! We were supposed to get married this coming January and when we found out we were pregnant we brought it forward to October there and after the m/c he lost all interest in the wedding, he didnt want to speak about it and didnt show any excitement. we were almost at the point where i was going to call the wedding off as he was so closed up but turns out when he thought about the wedding he linked it with what was meant to be, and the reason we brought the wedding forward 4 months. Whereas I used planning the wedding as a way to ignore what had happened – stupid because now its really hitting my 5 months later and im really struggling to come to terms with the fact i should be 7.5 months pregnant and im not  we all just grieve in completely different ways!

babydusted - 58 days ago.
Krissieh, Men say the darndest things...it sounds like your DH is putting his foot down because the pain on both your parts is just too much. I'm sure he's being protective (no way we are going through THIS again!) but maybe in time, the two of you will find yourselves planning for a new little one. On a personal note, I should be meeting AF anytime the next few days, which while not devastating, is a downer. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant, even though there is a possibility. I would've loved a Christmas morning surprise of a BFP....even with all my wedding excitement.

krissieh - 58 days ago.
sorry sarah that youo had to meet us here but glad to be a support to you. Brownie thank you! to all you ladies thank you and so with you on the dh not seeming sensitive about things. dh said to me just before we found out that this is another m/c 'if this doesn't work out that's it!' what a thing to say? i felt like punching him in the throat. now i cannot even look at him without wanting to spit in his face. i dont want to feel like this. i feel trapped in my sadness. it looks like another blighted ovum for us. the doc still insists on not acting on the scan results yet and getting me in for another scan on the 28th which will be another 10 days from mondays scan. its just dragging out this whole mess. it really helpeed with my grief being preg again. i even prayed to Cathal to look out for his younger sibling while i was preg with him/her. i am losing faith fast. and since i've beent old that i am not allowed try again at least for a very long time its making it harder to deal with. thank god for this place and you girls or else i dunno what i'd do........ xxxxx

WhatCouldBe2 - 58 days ago.
Babydusted- that is heartbreaking and accurate as to what a lot of guys do. My husband at first.... he froze up, and then acted like nothing had happened... until I ended up crying and screaming at him 'Why aren't you as sad as me? This was OUR child we lost' and he broke down and explained to me he was trying to be strong for me... But all I needed was to know I wasn't alone, wasn't going crazy alone... That was 6 years ago, but is as vivid as yesterday. The losses that we suffered after that, he was very open with me what he was feeling. I wish everyone the best of luck here, and ***baby dust***

babydusted - 58 days ago.
I think everyone reacts to grief differently..I couldn't understand why my fiancee was trying to reassure me after my m/c that 'we could try again'. My response was 'but I wanted THIS baby..' and sobbing. It was worse to find out it was a boy--we were hoping for a son. After a long heart-to-heart, I realized he was trying to 'fix' this for me, by telling me he was willing to go through it all again (in his words 'anything you want'). That's how he reacts to pain--try to fix the situation (even when it can't be fixed). I mistook it for insensitivity to our current loss, akin to buying a new pet when your dog dies. You can't replace your missing child, ladies. It will stay in your heart forever. I am finally in a place (more than 4 months later) where I can even think about it without breaking down. Big hugs to all of you in your grieving journey--you will NEVER forget it, but time will ease the most immediate pain. Hang in there and know that we have all been through this.

fizzy85 - 58 days ago.
tq Amy89. me, my sister and sis-in-law got BFP at d same time, due next may/june. all 1st one. got married around d same time too. we're very excited. quite nice, isn't? i was d one who assured my sis-in-law to take it easy when she bled in w8, never thought mine wd also spot in w10 & bled in w11. thx God, she's now fine but me got m/c.sad but wht to do.didnt tell them abt my m/c, didnt want to make them feel sad too. really hope to get bfp again. n join d club again lol!

amys89 - 59 days ago.
@sara im so sorry for your loss. I was the same as you, I held it all together for the few weeks after it happened and now 5 months later im an emotional wreck! have u tried speaking to dh about how your feeling? men cope with these things so differently, i felt like my hubby didnt understand but after a long (and very emotional) conversation i feel like hes on the same page and ive never felt so much support before. i hope your feeling a little better soon - easy as it sounds. your in my thoughts xxxx