What is everyone`s sex life like after having a baby?? Before I got pregnant, and even while I was preggo, hubby and I had sex at least once a week. Our daughter is now 9 months old and we`re lucky if we have sex once every 3 weeks! Life is just so different now then it used to be. My husband works construction so he doesnt usually get home until 6:30-7pm, when I get home from work Im cooking dinner, feeding the baby, cleaning up after dinner, bathing baby, bottle and bed for her, sometimes laundry…its exhausting. It`s hard to be in the mood when you`re so tired and my husband has been the same way, we`re just drained. Has anyone else experienced a lack in sexual desire after having a baby?? What can I do?
Yes totally normal. We didn’t get back to the swing of things until DD was way past 1 year. And that’s once a week sometimes more and then i got pregnant again and we’re back to sex every 3 weeks lol. I am 7 months pregnant with a toddler and working full time and he works 12 hrs everyday so it’s hard to squeeze that in. We would rather cuddle and sleep. As as you guys have some sort of intimacy like cuddling or just talking then i think it’s completely normal.
i was the same way especially after having my son. did not care to ever have sex again. after the birth of my daughter we couldnt even wait the 6 weeks and started at 3 weeks pp. ever since then we go out of our way to make time for it. it helps that our toddler and infant go down to bed at 8 everynight so we do have a few hours to be able to catch up and get stuff done. another thing that helps is on the weekend we make a point for each of us to get extra sleep. one person will sleep in in the mornings while the other one takes care of the kids, then around noon the other one goes down for a nap. that has really help us both as far as sleep goes, but our baby pretty much sleeps through the night. best of luck dear but you guys will find time
Don’t “do” anything, just go with it. You’re both exhausted and it’s completely understandable. My husband and I were the exact same way. Now, when we do have sex, it’s more meaningful – sometimes because it’s been too long, or sometimes because we know it could be a while before the next time so we enjoy every moment. No quickies or getting bored of the same-old same-old. hahaha It’s 100% normal to slow down after having a child, or children and it can be a beautiful thing too. The last three times we’ve attempted to “get together” either a child woke up and came into the bed with us or we were in the middle of things and were interrupted by a child. The fourth time was nothing short of magical though. LOL – Be good to yourself and treasure the moments you do make the most of, don’t feel guilt or anything for being tired. You’ve earned a good night sleep, mama!
We go in spells. We did have a VERY long dry spell which caused some serious trouble in our marriage after our second child. Sometimes we do it 3 times a week. sometimes 3x a month.
We’re lucky to get “lucky” once a month. Of course it doesn’t help that Dessa pretty much sleeps with us. DH has to be up at 3am, and I’m sorry, but I’m not waking my arse up at that time for a quickie! lol It IS hard working either in or out of the house, having little people begging for your attention all the time, doing the wifey things, and by the time your head hits the pillow, sex is the last thing to “get done” for the night. Have you tried having a date night and having someone babysit for you at their house? Go out, have dinner, come home, have fun, then go pick up Abby? It does get better, I promise. Or I wouldn’t have 4 kids!!! LOL Hang in there. Just keep communicating with hubby, that way he doesn’t think you don’t find him attractive anymore.
Do you guys remember those pre kid days where youd have a quickie in the bathroom but now thats impossiible coz someones clinging to ur leg all day? Lol
My husbands on meds for petsonality disorder so he has low sex drive as a result. We havent done it since dec i think. I think lol hmm i used to miss it. Not so much any more. Im gonna do it sometime soon just to see if its like riding a bicycle….
Happened to me! My son was born and all of a sudden I went from being a wife to being a mother…it was REALLY hard to get out of that! I loved my son SO much and he was SO SO SO needy and colic and clingy and he was a very difficult baby so it was VERY hard to put him to sleep and go from bing Mrs. Mom all day and then just switch to sexy wife! I was always worried the baby would start crying or need me or I’d be thinking about how he’d have me up 20 times that night or that I was so tired and had to be up early…I’d shower in the morning and before bed I”d been puked on and pooped on so many times I was JUST mom and wanted nothing to do with sex! And honestly…I did not get my sex drive back until I was pregnant with my baby girl. I had my boy in December 2009 and I got pregnant with my daughter in January 2012. So about 3 years. (((It would have probably been sooner but husband’s job switched to midnights so we rarely slept together and it’s hard to find time during the day when your son is running around!))) Anyway, once I got pregnant, I was so horny I FOUND the time! And it hasn’t gone away since! I was at the point though where if it didn’t come back soon I was going to see the doctor and see about hormone pills of some kind cause I really WANTED to be in the mood I just never was….so I don’t know :/ but it did eventually come back for me!
Me and DH have sex 3-4 times a week. I work full time during the day and he works at night.AlthoughI’m not always in the mood I do my best to do it when he wants it to keep the intimacy going.We have. 2 toddlers and I’m currently pregnant with number 3.
I think that’s normal, but I would suggest doing it even when you’re not in the “mood.” Any time your husband is, just go for it. Really, what’s 15 minutes if you get straight to it and it’s not an activity that you’ll regret doing after. Good luck!
I agree with the other ladies that it is normal and don’t stress about it. BUT if you really want a better sex life, force yourself to have sex with him. Sex doesn’t always need to be romantic and passionate. DH and I do every single day. Mind you, we do have good sex drive, but are there nights I’m not feelin it? Absolutely, but it’s not really something you are going to regret doing. Passionate movie quality sex is amazing, but waiting around for that won’t help the issue! Also, if I am REALLY lazy, I’ll just give out a hand job! So easy and fun hahaha