Mothers in law

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  • #6936576
    Profile photo of Izziebo
    Izziebo
    Member

    puppiesandbabies its awful that you cant tell them to feck off, my mum i can say it to andys mum i cant i just glare at her and ignore her and iv had to just get used to feedingt he baby in their livignroom now with his pervy dad looking at me,

    i do think 2 and a half months is slightly excessive to be visiting for does the stupid woman not think you and youir hubby need time to bond with your baby ALONE!!!

    i feel for you i really do

    lets just hope the new baby will take the pressure off your little one for a bit!:D xxxxx

    #6936832
    Profile photo of sweetie2320
    sweetie2320
    Member

    my MIL is one of the most horribl people i have ever met in my life. It was sad for me to have to open up my husbands eyes to that but now he can clearly see her MANY faults. She is a liar and manipulater to the highest degree. She is always turning things around to make it better for her. Trys to turn my husband and the rest of the family agaisnt me….suprise suprise doesnt work cause they know how she is. Not to say that my FIL is any better he is in his own categoerie alltogether… they are two people that i could live without.

    #6936577

    Lol, puppiesandbabies~ I live overseas and my mother wanted to come. She is a bit like your MIL, so I wrote her this e-mail: I love you, and am not telling you not to come, BUT, if you came you would not be allowed in the birthing rm, only Brad (hubby) will be in there with me. You will not hold my baby before me. You will not take over the baby as Brad and I want to have a chance to bond with her. You are welcome to help cook meals, help with house work, and play with the baby when I deem apropriate. Haha, needless to say my mom replied that newborns aren’t much fun anyway so she would come at 3 months when I am exhausted and get to have the baby all to herself. She was right, when she came out in August I was more than happy to have my mom around to help with night feedings, and mom got to keep the baby at home with her all day while I was at work so she was more than happy to hand her back to me when I got home!

    #6936833
    Profile photo of Chazoos
    Chazoos
    Member

    I have a terrible mother in law. She is japanese and she likes to over take my life and my husbands. We don’t see her very often because neither of us can stand her – when she found out I was pregnant she decided to invite herself over… FOR 2 WEEKS NOW. We didn’t say she could stay she just.. turned up one day and hasn’t left for 2 weeks.. I’m going crazy. So she’s traditional japanese, so she cooks alot ‘lots of hours of the day’ I can’t use my kitchen when she’s around.. I hate the smell of fish – she cooks fish all the time and makes me feel like I’m going to vomit.. the fridge gets stunk out from the fish smell since me being pregnant I can’t stand the smell and makes me want to throw up.. She rearranges my household items.. moves my loungeroom around.. goes into my bedroom when I’m not around.. she’s a complete nightmare. I feel for everyone who has a nice MIL and the ones who have a MIL like mine.. good lord help us. I’ve told my hubby heaps of times, can we please ask her to leave soon? She’s been sleeping on our lounge room floor for 2 weeks..

    #6936578

    izziebo, thanks 😉 I am still thinking of how to play my cards so she can asphyxiate her own daughter and new grandchild and leave me and LO alone. I have a very nice and healthy relationship with my Mom, I really dont need another Mommy. My own mother asks me when she babysits ‘ Is this OK? When do I feed him? When is his next nap?’ She knows me and has always treated me with respect 🙂 and let me be and do what I think is right.

    Military Mommy that letter was great and Iam glad your Mom visited you in the right time. I would have preferred to bond with the baby alone with DH and then receive visits. DH was so happy and excited about the pregnancy that he offered the 2 and a half month stay but i could see in the end he was getting fed up too. Its hard, they are good people but we are mid thirties and we dont need to go back to be the kids just because they are around. Still thinking of my next move, probably will arrive 3 weeks before my SIL due date because a couple of weeks will be jet lag and the rest, well, she will be in cloud number 9 with the newborn.

    #6936834
    Profile photo of nkmichel
    nkmichel
    Member

    I know how lucky I am to have such an amazing MIL. I was engaged to a guy before, and we had two kids together, and his mother was INSANE! She made my life a living hell. But now I am married to an amazing man who has a wonderful mom! She is the sweetest, most selfless person I’ve evermet, and she absolutely adores my other 2 kids.My DH is her youngest and her baby, but its not obnoxious like it was with my last MIL, its actually quite sweet. Unfortunately she was diagnosed with Brest Cancer a few months ago. But shes working hard and staying strong to fight it.
    I know what its like to have a horrible MIL(who i unfortunately stil deal with since my first 2 are her grandkids) but now I have a wonderful MIL. Having a bad MIL isnt so bad if your have a husband stands up to her (which my last DID NOT). Good luck ladies!

    #6936579
    Profile photo of Teresa08
    Teresa08
    Member

    Like alot of people on here I’ve had a few times where my MIL did something to upset me. We didn’t always see eye to eye early in my relationship with my husband. But she has been a wonderful mother and grandmother to my husband and my son. I’m writing this now to ask everyone to please pray for her, she was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it does not look good at all. I’m broken hearted that my baby boy will never know his grandmother.

    #6936835
    Profile photo of havinagirl
    havinagirl
    Member

    well here is my MIL..my husaband died 5 years ago and we still are a family. but sometimes omg..i am having a new baby now and the father wants nothing to do with it. well i am suppose to be on bed rest and just found out that i have dibates. my mil will say i know that you hurt and are suppose to be in bed but i need you to do the dishes and my clothes. can you go to the store or and unload the car. i am having to live with them right now. she is suppose to be disabled. the only thing that is makeing her disabled is all the pills that she is taking. she had the nerve to tell me i don’t see how u can get bed rest with having to take care of me and your son. my fil works alot but instead of helping me on the weekend he goes hunting. all my mil does is sit sit sit oh and goes through about 2-3 smokes aday. and today i kid you not she was on the computer for 6 hrs striaght..and then ask’s me to rub her leg becouse she is not sure why they hurt..when she falls guess who has to pick her up. i guess i should be thankful that they are letting us live here. but sometimes i just want to smack her..everything she says is so negative..it is driving me nuts…

    #6936580
    Profile photo of SmurfWxMama
    SmurfWxMama
    Member

    Huge vent coming up ladies, you’ve been warned……. So my BIL emailed my DH last night to tell him that he’s a piece of shit and that when his mom dies his brothers will effectively die to and DH will be an only child from then on…all of this because the military is not allowing him to take leave to go visit his mother…my FIL knew nothing of this and was extremely pissed, he was in the Army so he knows you do as your told right, so he said he’d talk to my MIL and call us back. Well he did call back, only to tell us that MIL said if DH can’t come home now he might as well never come home again! DH had just put down about $600 on a non-refundable ticket to go home, not knowing if he’ll be allowed leave or not… oh and according to BIL i feel they are only poor @$$ mexicans because all they do is ask for money from us, and I don’t know the meaning of family because I don’t ruin myself financially to make sure they are well stocked in beer and other trivialties. Apparently they think that they have to live in the ghetto because they are from the ghetto and anyone that tries to better themselves for their family thinks too highly of themselves… How the heck do they come up with that?! I’m sorry but family does come first, my family, my husband, my kids, that is who comes first…my mother is an adult and she can take care of herself and deal with the consequences of her actions and my father is the one that is supposed to take care of her, just as my husband is to take care of me and my children…I will never be a burden on my children, I will never treat my future SIL/DIL like I have been treated. My FIL has some issues I don’t agree with but he is the one that has helped my DH to see the kind of man he needs to be for his kids, and he is the only one that understands that he is supposed to take care of MIL and not the other way around. Never once have they offered to try to help us out to get him a ticket home, as we have offered to help fund a ticket for MIL to come over here for a while… I am very hurt and frustrated and feeling that what I thought was genuine affection from them was nothing but a bunch of lies….just because I am not blood relation does not mean I deserve to be treated as I have been…..

    #6936836

    omg, and I thought I was the only one with MIL problems! lol I’m so glad I found this forum 🙂 Where to start…! I’ve been with my sons dad for 3 1/2yrs… his whole family had been a huge blessing to me! once I got pregnant its like everything started to change lil by lil. Everyone started telling me how happy my baby was goin to make my MIL. They prayed that I’d have a lil girl since my MIL had 3 boys. When we found out it was a boy my BF was so happy but then put his hands on his head & said ‘my mom!’ meaning she was going to be sad. well his mother and grandmother where sad at 1st but then got over it. once my due date was getting closer they (my bf’s mom & dad) started saying things that made me feel uncomfortable! my bf’s mom wanted the crib in her room, wanted 2 spend the 1st 3 nites of my sons life with her. I moved in their house at 4months pregnant. his dad told me twice that I HAD TO live in their house because I wasn’t capable of taking care of a baby. I can go on forever lol I finally moved out with my son about 2 months ago. My baby daddy & me have been having so many problems because of his familys obsession with my baby! its sad 🙁 he’s always chosen her side & it hurts. I told her she was a nosy lady & since we haven’t spoken & his family is not speaking to me 🙂

    #6936581

    In-Law advice needed please!!!! Long story short, my In-Laws have caused a lot of turmoil in DH and my lives for the last few years. DH actually broke all contact with them when our son was 8 months old and we didn’t talk to them for a year. Now, they are back in our lives and have been fairly decent to us. Our problem is this: Our son is now almost 3 years old and we just enrolled him in soccer CLASS. its not soccer games or anything like that, its a training class on basic skills and activities. Well, when the In-Laws heard we had him going they just showed up last week. This made it so our son was way too distracted to actually play and do the drills. Instead he kept wanting all the attention from his grandma and grandpa, and since MIL was holding my 5 month old the whole time it made it worse. We were very annoyed and FIL seem clueless that he was causing a distraction. We are paying for our son to take these classes, they aren’t free. DH doesn’t want his parents showing up this week but at the same time, if he tells them, they will play the victim role and guilt him for taking the fun out of their lives. So DH wont say anything to them. Any ideas on how to let them know this class is not the best place for them to show up at? The fewer distractions the better for our son and DH and I both have agreed that only one of us will be taking him in the future and keeping the baby at home. I mean, if they wanted to pay for him to take a class, then they can treat it however they like, but they didn’t, we did. Is it bad to say that having the In-Laws in our lives is just an added frustration and complication? I wish it wasn’t, but its like walking on eggshells with them and we can’t talk to them about anything. Also, when FIL showed up, he went out and started playing with the kids and was goalie and wouldn’t let a single kid score on him. He just takes over and is very competitive. These are 3-5 years old and are there to have fun, not have some old 50 year old random guy take the ball from them every chance he gets.

    #6936837
    Profile photo of Wonderland
    Wonderland
    Member

    my mother-in-law hates me and has been calling everyone in her family saying if I come for the holidays then she isn’t. I don’t even know what I did or didn’t do. Frankly, it’s all crazy. SOmetimes reading this board makes me feel better, since i’m not alone…though I wish there were more kind m-i-l’s in the world. But I am super lucky that my husband stands by me. That’s the good thing out of her craziness.

    #6936582
    Profile photo of ermsmom
    ermsmom
    Member

    My in-laws called the other day to say that they are planning on coming down for Easter and my daughter’s first birthday. There’s no guarantee that just because they said they’re coming they’ll actually show up. They’ve said it before and haven’t shown. They do mean well but they’re kind of white trash. I know that when they’re here they’ll litter my yard with cigarette butts, probably take with them a boatload of their grandkids who they are supporting but only for the government check, my mil will probably start crying and have some sort of a breakdown about something or other because she does at least every other day. If they take the other grandkids with them there’s a chance my kids could get lice! Seriously, those kids are always dirty and always have head bugs. I wanted to have a small party for my daughter with a few friends but I really feel weird about having my friends socalizing with my in-laws. They’re just from really different planets. I probably sound like a huge snob but is it horrible of me for not wanting them here?

    #6936838
    Profile photo of Chazoos
    Chazoos
    Member

    Trust me I read this board as well.. and I go.. jeez my MIL isn’t so bad after all.. but she is a kooky old japanese lady!

    #6936583

    erms mom, I would discuss this a little with your husband and then perhaps have HIM phone his mother and let her know that you have decided to go out of town for Easter or that you’ve already made plans…..and tell her ‘maybe some other time soon.’…..

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