13yearsapart's I-am-pregnantblog

13yearsapart
	Age: 32 Country: USA Province/region: Minnesota City: Blaine Partner: Married to Jason Children: Yes, 3 Pregnant: No Occupation: Sales Consultant
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 490 days ago. Member since: 1253 days
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09-3-2009 - 36week check up

My mood while writing this blog:
done being pregnant!

I had my 36 week check up last thursday and all seems well....dang it! I was kinda hoping my BP was up or maybe I was dilated...I just want to be done with this pregnancy. So here are the stats: Hannah's HR is 154, my BP was 117/70 (i think) and I gained 2 pounds which is all water per hte doc and she is measuring 38 weeks...hope that doesn't mean I'm having a 9 pounder!!

The days are are getting harder and harder and more achy and painful. TMI ABOUT TO HAPPEN HERE...my vaginal muscles are really sore the last few days which make standing and walking a bit more than torture. I noticed that I am having more discharge too, and am now having to wear a pantie liner everyday...anyone else see this happening to them? My BB's are growing again, but I chalk that up to milk....even though I am not leaking, and they are not sore. I think the biggest problem though right now is the edema, I can NOT get my feet and legs to un-swell to save my life. They are BAD...and even in the morning after 8 hours of laying down! They are a bit better in the morning but seem to go right back to bubbles after and hour or so of walking around getting ready for work.

I am just sore all the time, and even though I've been through this before it's hard and makes me cry all the time. My poor DH is about to go nutso dealing with my mood swings and pity parties! He feels bad cause there is NOTHING he can do to make me feel better and thats not easy for him cause he is a "fixer" type. NOt to mention he knows that if he would have gotten snipped earlier last year that I wouldnt be going through all this. Part of me feels vindicated by that, but mostly I feel bad for making him feel that way...I know it's not fair to feel vindicated or like he's getting his just deserts...but I can;t help it.

I shouldn't whine the way I do, but things are just getting to be too much to handle most days. And it kills my positive attitude and makes me just want to climb under the blankets and hide! Work is the biggest stresser right now and I don't dare go on bed rest to escape it either. We just had a huge powwow last week and all of the sales people in my department were told that if we can't get our numbers up by June then they will start looking at layoffs! SO needless to say I freaked out cause I am 10 days away from Maternity leave and my outside sales partner has opened 2 accounts since Jan 1! I have opened 18! OMG...what if I come back from maternity leave, work for a month and get laid off? With a new born baby, mortgage, car payment, bills and all the other shit that goes along iwht it I AM SCREWED! I came home that day and cried my effing eyes out! Jason said I should start working on my resume while I am out with the baby and start looking at private practice work again. But I don't want to, I worked for OD's for many years and I don't want to go back to that life style. I like the 9-5 job I have now in an office with NO patients!

So a lot of things are gonna be up in the air, and I am scared as hell! Lots of things to think about and deal with...theis effing econmy is gonna be our down fall if we're not careful, and that make me cringe to think about.

Ok enough of my crap...I just wanted to share some thoughts and get them off my chest...hope this isn't too depressing. Thanks as always for letting me vent, you are all awesome women and I hope that you are all well and happy!

hugs-Candy

1 Comments on 36week check up

no2intheoven - Monday, 9 Mar
You're not alone. Things are going to get better. I know what you mean about the economy. You kind of just have to deal with it when it comes and pinch pennies now while you can. Put some money aside so you can kind of be somewhat prepared in case something happens with your jobs. Every company is threatening layoffs so don't let it stress you...you have too much else going on.

Take care~

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