13yearsapart's I-am-pregnantblog

13yearsapart
	Age: 32 Country: USA Province/region: Minnesota City: Blaine Partner: Married to Jason Children: Yes, 3 Pregnant: No Occupation: Sales Consultant
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 490 days ago. Member since: 1253 days
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14-4-2009 - Post Partum, Hormones or ???

My mood while writing this blog:
Unsure

Sorry its been so long since I've been on and updated. I am just flat out busy with taking care of Hannah and so sleep deprived I can barely stare at my laptop screen without falling asleep. I have been an wreak the last few weeks since her birth, which was to be expected but I am now almost three weeks PP and am still having a hard time. Hannah has consumed my entire life and marriage...I have no time for myself anymore or time to connect with my DH or other daughter. I cry all the time and just am flat out lonely! I know that a lot of these feelings will eventually go away, but at the same time I feel like I am completely disconnected and left out of everything.

Jason and I haven't been able to have sex in over 6 weeks and still have 3 more to go before I am cleared by the doc! I seriously can NOT remember the last time we actually had sex and he pulls away from me when I try to even give him deep kisses. I get a peck on the lips or cheek and thats it! I just feel like I look like crap and feel like crap...not to mention that I am still swollen from the c-section...my belly is a mess and the hernia spot is still giving me issue. Maybe I am being too sensitive or needy.....I just want to cry and throw my hands up and quite!

Jason says he understands, but I really don't think he does. I am the primary caregiver and he just watches her long enough for me to shower or take a nap, I just feel like I have to do everything! I clean the house and do laundry and cook and take care of Nikki's stuff...what the hell?! But when I say something I feel like a lazy ass cause I am the one whose home all day long with Hannah while he's working. I am the one who gets up at night with no help and gets the least amount of sleep and then they wonder why I am crabby or sleepy all the time. I get sooooo tired and wornout that I cry to go to sleep. I just am at my whits end and don't know what else to do.....

Sorry to have laid all this out on you guys, but I had to get it all out or I was gonna go insane.....I hope that all of you are doing better than me and my pity party!!

Take care-Candy

4 Comments on Post Partum, Hormones or ???

LilMrsK - Thursday, 16 Apr
Although I can't relate to the new mommy part of this, I can certainly understand how frustrated you must be feeling! I'm sorry you are feeling so rotten and I'm sure that in time, things will even out again and you will be back to normal Candy.

Hang in there hun. You know I'm always here if you need anything!!!!!
xoxoxo

riknlee - Tuesday, 14 Apr
Oh, I feel for you. It is a difficult time and a time when everything seems different. I am sure your husband has the utmost respect for you so dont doubt yourself. You are doing a wonderful job being a great mum and being there for your little baby. Relations will have to take a back seat for now but you can always become intimate by cuddles or foot rubs - in my experience men are pretty clueless and you really need to be specific about what you want as they dont pick up on subtle cues and will do whatever they would normally do unless asked. Sometimes getting away with things for as long as possible until you ask. Treasure this time with your baby instead of stressing - it really does go so fast. Take care - and vent anytime. No one minds

no2intheoven - Tuesday, 14 Apr
I understand how you feel but try not to let your emotions get the best of you. Some days I want to cry my eyes out because of my personal problems with Russell, but I just kind of shake it off and keep myself busy. Try reading a book (I know you may not have time but a few pages will take your mind off the depression) or take a long bath while Jason watches the baby. Not sure if you have someone that can watch the baby for an hour or two but maybe you guys can go get a bite to eat together just so that you guys can talk and rekindle the sparks...
I hope you do get better and talk to your doctor the next time you go.

voncoco - Tuesday, 14 Apr
Take a deep breath. You need to give Jason a chance to understand by telling him everything you just told us, but without resentment - which means say it now before you build resentment. And nevermind feeling lazy.. you carried that baby and worked until you couldn't and now you are running the household, a big job even without the kids. If you have to work round the clock don't feel bad about asking him to as well. Just remember to take a deep breath before you begin the conversation- because our hormonal emotions can sometime derail us from real progress with men. They see tears and think we are blaming them for something so they get defensive. I am sure you already know this, just thought I would remind you. You are such a strong woman, and wonderful mother and wife... and I am sure Jason is just as wonderful a husband and father. :)

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