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20-7-2009 - My heart hurts

My mood while writing this blog: Sad

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I think my relationship is falling apart. I'm feeling resentment toward my boyfriend because he leaves most of the child care to me while he does whatever he feels like. I've told him how this makes me feel, and he says he doesn't see a problem with taking off on weekends to go play football, or to go camping while I stay at home an have no life. We do nothing special together and it hurts my feelings. He just assumes, (or doesn't care, I'm not sure), that I don't mind caring for a child by myself while he goes to party.

When I tell him how I feel, he just tells me there's nothing he can do to make things better and he's sick of arguing with me. He then proceeds to act cold and distant toward me; which of course hurts my feelings even more.

He said that he is slowly adjusting to the changes of becoming a parent, and I told him that isn't fair considering I had to change as soon as I became pregnant.

Why is he acting so inconsiderate? Why is he being so selfish? I feel so alone even when he's in the room. Why is this happening? I don't want things to end, but I don't know how to fix this problem; especially when he says it's me creating the problems....

He's been slowly getting more and more hurtful as time passes. He was not always like this. He was and still is capable of being the best man I've ever met. I feel as if I've been tricked. My heart hurts. It makes me feel depressed. I just don't understand....

I'm sorry to anyone who feels that this is blog TMI, but I had to vent. This isn't just typical boyfriend drama...now there's a baby involved and it hurts so much more because of that fact.

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3 Comments on My heart hurts


Anesha - Monday, 20 Jul
Sorry to hear this. I am married and I do most of the child rearing. My mom always told me when I was growing up that women do most of the work and boy was she right. The problem you have a lot of women have so dont think its strange or odd for a man to not do as much as you. Knowing that fact will help tons. Although you don't necesarily have to accept this. It isnt abnormal for him to try to leave this on you alone. I have learned to leave my husband with the kids like mckrush replied below. Tell him you are going out and need him to watch the baby. Don't ask. Tell him. Once he is alone with the baby he will better understand. Sometimes men can be really selfish and deep down inside feel like as a mother it is your "job" to care for the children. Your blog is not TMI by the way. Also as your baby gets older and becomes more independent you will get more freedom and family and/or friends will watch the baby for you sometimes.

happyforest - Monday, 20 Jul
i dealt with this in the beginning too. i think men just dont know what to do and are afraid to do anything, and also are selfish. they know they dont have to do anything, bc if they dont, you will. like sometimes when forest would be crying, i would just sit for a minute and wait to see if anthony would get up to get him. he never did of course, bc he knew i would. i eventually got really sick of this, and when talking and explaining how i felt didnt work, i left and went home to my moms for about 3-4 days. i told him that i couldnt do it all bymyself, i needed help, and if he wouldnt help me i would have to go somewhere where i could get help. of course before i even made it home he was calling me saying come back and how much he would help. but i stayed at home and actually got to RELAX and have some help, i think it did all 3 of us some good, him, me, and baby. when i got back i walked in to a completely clean apartment!! i was shocked! i think sometimes guys just dont pay attention or take things seriously until its too late. once he saw how much he missed me and how it sucked to not have me around, he straightened up. im NOT saying hes perfect AT ALL!! our son is 8 months old and i still have most of the main care, i feed him, bath him, rock him to sleep and everything, but he will help out more than he used to thats for sure!!

mckrush - Monday, 20 Jul
start leaving him with the baby and go out with some friends every week until he gets it?