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|19-9-2011 - Hindsight is 20/20
||My mood while writing this blog:|
I dont know what just made me remember this story but just thought i would share.......Back when me and my husband first met in 2006, I was a virgin so not experienced at all sexually. Well one Christmas eve about 6 months after we first met we decided to 'have some fun' *wink wink* lol in a school parking lot because family was everywhere at both of our parents houses lol. Well we used protection, condoms, but we left them in the car so none of our family would see them. Learn from our mistake this is a recipe for disaster - leaving condoms in a very cold car for hours then trying to use them while still cold.... but at the time i didnt know any better. So of course in the heat of the moment the condom broke from our body heat/friction and here I was left with a decision to make....I decided to go to the emergency room and get the morning after pill. Sooo yeah, that was a beautiful way to spend our first Christmas Eve together, in the ER. lol
Anyway, I waited for what seemed like forever. Scared to death because the hospital said they were out of the plan B pills but said they could just give me 8 birth control pills and that would suffice but they had to find some. Well I was still waiting and the way the hospital was set up was it was kinda like a big hallway with large curtains up, so the only thing that was between me and the next person was a large curtain so you could hear the persons conversation next to you. My husband (boyfriend at the time) stayed out in the waiting room because i asked him to. Well the next thing that happened really made me sad and angry but i felt hopeless to do anything about it. I hear a man next to me that cut his finger or something, so I guess his male friend came with him to the ER. The doctor on duty was also a male and he began to tell these other two guys that "some girl came in asking for the plan B bill". And how irresponsible it was, and then one of the guys asked "why didnt she use protection?" the doctor then said "they did but the condom broke" Now by this time i am sitting there in utter shock with my mouth wide open because here this "doctor" is telling these two complete strangers all my business without my permission while i am sitting RIGHT THERE (i guess the dummy didnt realize that i was right behind the curtain right next to them) I couldnt believe what was happening, so much for HIPAA.
Anyway, the convo got worse when one of the guys said "i dont care what anybody says, using the morning after pill is just like getting an abortion, it is the same thing, you are killing your baby" and the other guy said "yeah i agree with you, if you have sex and the condom breaks then you need to accept the responsibilities of your actions" and then he said "thats probably not even the first time she has taken the pill" (mind you it was my first and last time taking the morning after pill, I had just had sex for the first time in my life about 2 months before that) WOW! by this time i had tears in my eyes and i wanted to scream and yell at them but i didnt. I just sat there silently with tears falling down my eyes feeling like a whore and a baby killer. Now what I was doing was wrong, that is true because i was fornicating but they were not judging me the way God would judge with loving correction, they were judging me thru mans eyes and that is never right because no one is without sin.
Now i wish i could go back and re-do that situation and speak up for myself and tell those men that they have no right to judge me as if they have never committed any sins in their lifetime. I would tell them that my body is mine and as a woman it is my choice what I do with it. That i am not a whore or a baby killer. I would also tell that Doctor that hes the one that should be ashamed of himself for acting irresponsibly and breaking his hippocratic oath.
Moral of the story ladies:
1. Dont use condom that have been stored in very cold or very hot temps because they WILL break.
2. You cant really trust all Doctors or healthcare professionals, they are humans and will sometimes gossip about 'juicy' stories just like anybody else would.
3. Seek God for acceptance. Never let any other person make you feel less than what you are because 'All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God' - Romans 3:23 but God says we all are 'Fearfully and wonderfully made' - Psalm 139:14
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